Of Pets and Prozac

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I love thunderstorms.  They do things to my body that defy explanation.  (Don’t ask, don’t ask…)

My dog hates thunderstorms.  They do things to her brain that defy explanation.

So after nearly 20 hours of dealing with a spastic, fretting, home-wrecking (literally – she tried to chew through the door RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!) fluffy freak, I finally ~ FINALLY ~ managed to get approximately three hours of sleep.  After which, I promptly called the vet’s to explain my predicament.

After listening to my succinct (I think it was succinct – hard to know for sure when operating in drunk-from-lack-of-sleep mode) explanation of The Terrible Trauma induced by The Thunderstorm From Hell (I only mentioned it about five times I think), during which I lamented my lack of sleep, the person to whom I was complaining made a sympathetic noise in my ear.  “So you want drugs, then?” the man on the other end inquired politely.

Oh THANK GOD, ThankGodThankGodThankGod…

“YEESSSSSSssss…” was my moaned reply.  (My husband, having not heard the beginning of my conversation with Monsieur Veterinarian’s Assistant, came a-runnin’ when he heard that moan.  Heh.)

“I’m sorry,” MVA sighed regretfully, “but we can’t give you drugs.”

NOOOOO!  NoNoNoNoNoNoNo!  Oh my GOD, Nooooooo! 

“However,” he explained in an oh-so-helpful tone of voice, “We can prescribe some for your dog.”


As a general rule, I avoid drugs of any kind.  I prefer, instead, to seek natural solutions.  But considering the fact that I was crying yesterday (I never cry!) out of sheer frustration (this was the straw that broke the camel’s back ~ we’ve been dealing with a crazy canine for nearly two weeks) and that it would just be mean to strangle the dog (although I really, really, really wanted to a few times!)…

I’ve made an exception to the rule.

I am now armed with Puppy Prozac (well, she’s not exactly a puppy ~ the bitch is ten years old) and I am NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!


I lost my entire Friday and most of my Saturday dealing with her shenanigans, which has unfortunately had a two-day impact on my sex life.  Which means it’s time to rectify that.

Remember when I said I believed in natural solutions?  Well, naturally, I took a little cat nap (okay, okay…so it was three hours…I deserved it!) today to catch up on my sleep.  And now that I’m rested?  Well…

I’ve always said that orgasms are (naturally) the ultimate cure-all…


0 thoughts on “Of Pets and Prozac

  1. deviant wench

    Poor puppy! Have you tried Melatonin? It’s natural, and it works for a lot of dogs with anxiety about loud noises. We used it for our Aussie, Collin, who had a very negative reaction to thunder, fireworks, etc, and it kept him nice and calm.

  2. mrsfever Post author

    We’ve tried melatonin, diphenhydramine (benadryl), vodka (yes, I said ‘vodka’ ~ most dogs love alcohol, but mine is a teatotaller; she dumped her water bowl when I spiked it), lavender, eucalyptus, and a myriad of other things over the years (including, of course, behavioral modification training). Unfortunately, Psycho McPup is immune. Once she gets herself worked up, there’s basically no bringing her back down.


    She’s unbelievably sweet when she’s not being a nutcase, lol.

    She’s a rescue, and we’ve been dealing with her errant (aberrant?) behavior for six and a half years now…to the tune of several thousand dollars worth of damage to our home(s) and MANY sleepless nights…and this summer things have been particularly bad. In part, I think, because of the excessive fireworks (Independence Day celebrations started on June 30th and basically never ended) followed by booming thunderstorms. So while there’s nothing I can do to regain my lost weekend, I can at least ***fingers crossed*** prevent another one.


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