Also, there’s boobs. Because Dave over at Normal Deviations inspired this post with his lightbulb moment, and he totally likes boobs.
So this post is NSFW and Read At Your Own Risk and all that jazz.
I Don’t Have ADD; I Just Do Mental Gymnastics
I whipped out my phone (which is supposed to be smart, but is mostly dumb) while wandering one day to take a picture of a T-shirt sporting this slogan:
Then I sent the picture to my friend, who said, “You need to buy that shirt!”
Apparently, he thinks I have ADD. Hunh. Not sure why…
I mean, it *might* be because when he says things like, “I want Mexi Coke,” I reply with, “She was pissing a circle around you, dude.” Which, to the uninitiated, may seem to be two completely unrelated sentiments. While, in reality… Those are two completely unrelated sentiments. But that’s okay! Because on the level we communicate, it always makes perfect sense! It DOES!
Oh, shut up. It so does.
I mean, I totally do NOT have ADD.
Do mental gymnastics.
Never did understand what everyone thought was so awesome about Mary Lou Retton.
Also never understood why I should eat Wheaties for breakfast, especially when Cocoa Puffs were available. Because Wheaties taste like chalk.
Wow, I wish I had some chocolate right now.
Oooh, I know! I should bake a pie!
Wow, I totally need to buy new batteries for my vibrator.
Oh, are you still here? Sorry. The mind wanders.
This post has been brought to you by flash-free phone photography:
Additional sponsors include the number three (3), because that’s how many times I got up to do other stuff during the writing of this post; the letter B, because that’s my cup size; and the song “Fuzzy”, just… Because.
Oh, and in case you were wondering? I *do* like cake.