I’ve been told I give good head.

      Comments Off on I’ve been told I give good head.

In a “Wow, you really make me think about sex” kind of way.

Heh.  😉

And you thought I was gonna tell you about something else.

Maybe later.  😀

Or possibly in the comments section…

In response to your comments.

Oky-doky, then.  Let’s proceed!

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WARNING:  There is a distinct possibility you will encounter lots of questions and cartoon nudity if you choose to continue reading.  So you’ve been warned.  And stuff.  Also, there’s a giraffe.

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I see you’ve chosen to enter at your own risk, sooooo…

Let’s talk about sex, baby!  (Anyone else listen to this song in middle school?  Show of hands, please!)

Alllllrighty, then!

I must admit that I am somewhat astounded by the way you all (I’m not Southern, therefore it’s not y’all) have queued up to kvetch with me about sex.  The conversation that started here, quickly progressed to this, and has now grown exponentially in a variety of directions, which makes for one (1) flipped-out Feve.  And I mean that in good way.  😀

In short:  I (that’s ME) have the best blog readers (that’s YOU) in the universe.

Because you (yes, YOU) are fascinatingly engaging and brilliant and ~ most importantly ~ communicative about all things sex.  And I love it when you talk to me!

So PLEASE Oh God OhGodOhGod pleasepleaseplease DON’T don’t you dare STOP.

giraffe-tongue

photo courtesy of vickiessex.com

WHOA.  What the heck, you are wondering, is UP with the giraffe, Feve?

I have no idea.

And no, I don’t have a secret giraffe fetish.  Pffffft!

But that tongue is CRAZY.

Like, supercalifragilisticrazy.

And if I was a lady giraffe, I’d be all over that thing.  Just..ya know…  Sayin’.

Also, I might (it’s a teensy-weensy possibility, but a very real one) just want to lick you.  In the same way that a girl giraffe would lick her playmate(s).

But I won’t lick you.  Promise.

Instead, I will smile at you…

Happy in Black & White

So I don’t have perfect teeth.
Get over it.

…because *you* are awesome.

And I will show you cartoon nudity (cartoonidy?)…

Cyndy Bearyogi

…because *I* am awesome.

Also because I want to entice you to allow me to massage your largest sexual organ:

YOUR BRAIN!

So without further ado…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

AUDIENCE (That means YOU!) PARTICIPATION REQUESTED.

Please expound on any (or all) of the following
questions/topics/runaway-trains-of-thought.

  1. What is your experience with mutual masturbation?  Seriously.  I wanna know.  😉
  2. What are your thoughts on intimacy?
  3. How do you define ‘kink’?
  4. Has your work culture influenced your sexual practices/experiences/relationships?
    1. Example 1:  The prim and proper librarian becomes a seductress.  (This example only works if you work as a Bibliognost.  Which one of you does.)
    2. Example 2:  You travel a lot for work, therefore you __________.
    3. Example 3:  You are an airline stewardess who looks like a Rabbit (Jessica Rabbit, to be precise) and who fucks like one too.
    4. Example 4:  Insert example from your own life here.
  5. If you’ve been physically involved with a person whose nationality is different than your own, how did your differing backgrounds/cultures affect your relationship(s)?  Expectations?  Rules?  Taboos?  Decisions?  Willingness to dress in costume?
  6. How would you describe the sex culture of the family/neighborhood/community/region/country in which you grew up?
  7. Did you grow up?
  8. Where sex and sexual interactions are concerned:  As you’ve matured, how has your understanding/comprehension/perspective changed over time in terms of…
    1. Security and self-concept?
    2. Emotion/Affection/Connection requirements for physical engagement?
    3. Respect?  And how you ~ according to your own personal philosophical construct ~ demonstrate, reciprocate, and generally understand the concept of R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
  9. Did you just start singing an Aretha Franklin song?  No?  Let me help you find your groove then:

I think that’s enough for now.  So on your mark…

Get set…

SING!  Lol.

And discuss!  And comment!  And amaze me with your fantabulous insights!

Oh wait!  One more…

10.  Cheating.  What does it mean to you?  (GAH!)

Can’t wait to read your thoughts.  MUAH!  (And that was totally not a licky giraffe smooch either.  In case you were wondering.)

0 thoughts on “I’ve been told I give good head.

  1. NormalDeviations

    Damn, here I was hoping for giraffe-style. Alas.

    1) Annoys the hell out of me. Like, insane levels of annoyance. I can spank it whenever I want; I don’t want to be in that situation if there is a partner(s) like… right fucking there! Even more maddening if they’re doing the solo bop instead of me giving them a, err, hand.

    Theoretically, I can see how it could be arousing and titillating for some folks. Teasing combined with denial, in a way. Overall, it just doesn’t float my crank.

    2) Too vague; I could go on for (more) hours about that. Need moar clarification for me to focus thoughts into text.

    3) Not gonna go there. No way. Waiting for more clever people to fill in the blanks here. I recognize this question, hmmm.

    4) Interesting question. I’m an IT geek and the specific IT field I’ve been in has a massively unbalanced ratio of male to female people, which definitely influences experiences/relationships/sex.

    However, in some ways it’s been a positive. I’m not quite as socially inept as many IT geek stereotypical males, which can mean when the bar is set low…

    Plus, one interesting thing about immersion in IT stuff has been more alignment for my thinking processes towards typical geek analysis mode, which has been a detriment and a benefit when it comes to relationships and experiences. Sex, not so much impact.

    Second set of responses later today. Need pizza rolls.

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Giraffe Smooch

      I think you might be right about the tease and denial appeal of mutual masturbation. Because those two aspects, combined with my exhibitionistic/voyeuristic tendencies, are precisely what has made my own experiences with mutual masturbation so hot. Interesting that we’re at opposite ends of the spectrum on that. I wonder, then, if you would consider mutual masturbation to be a kink? And more specifically, something you don’t kink to?

      Hmmm? What’s that? You need moar clarification? I’m afraid I’m gonna need more clarification. This moar? What is it? Lol.

      The third question did, indeed, come from your recommendation. Thank you for providing it. 🙂 I’m curious to see what people will have to say on that one, both in terms of broad definitions and specific examples. On some level, I think kink is like art. Or poetry. One thing appeals; another repels. One is all-consumingly enticing; another is ‘meh’. The topic of kink is one that could very easily lead to its own thread, I think, which gets me all kinds of excited. (To clarify: The topic gets me excited; not thread. I’m not into sewing. ;))

      I can see how being an analytical person would be both beneficial and detrimental to relationships. I wonder if relationships between IT professionals are more succesful because of the stereotypical tendency to extrapolate data and speak in binary? Speaking the same language (literally and metaphorically) and interpreting information as it was intended is a struggle in any relationship, so I wonder if people who work in the same field have more or less overall success at communication in relationships? Something to ponder.

      Thanks for responding! I’ll look forward to hearing more from you. 🙂

      1. NormalDeviations

        I wonder, then, if you would consider mutual masturbation to be a kink? And more specifically, something you don’t kink to?

        I wouldn’t consider it a kink, but I’m not even sure how or what I would classify as a kink these days. o_O

        I would be open to trying it… in the right situation.. like most things. Bah. I can even envision when it might be damn interesting (geez, that sounds so dry and analytical).

        This moar? What is it? Lol.

        Internet meme crap. Deliberate misspelling derived from the old “needs more cowbell” meme from Walken and SNL fame many moons back. Even though I can’t stand that meme, really, I lapse into it at times.

        Anyway. Clarification. Rather than repeat myself, this kinda gives an overview of what I mean – different types of intimacy. I could expand on any of ’em for hours, heh.

        I wonder if relationships between IT professionals are more succesful because of the stereotypical tendency to extrapolate data and speak in binary?

        I’ve grown to realize that they’re more my nightmare than beneficial. Too many memories of binary arguments/conversations that have devolved to “but what you actually said was this…” type of literalism.

        For me, I need someone complimentary not quite as similar. Having a relationship where the gears meet the grooves works better than gears + gears.

        There is something to be said about empathetic relationships where similar knowledge/experience can be applied. But, it’s hard for non-platonic relationships often. For me.

  2. NormalDeviations

    The sequel…

    5. I’m not quite sure how to answer this. Yes and no. I’ve been in relationships with women who were born/raised elsewhere, but through exposure or life choices have become Americanized. So I can’t really say I’ve been in a relationship with someone who exists in a completely different national culture.

    …but. There were a lot of things different in that first set of relationships. Mostly, it was communication differences, social mores, expectation dynamics and to a lesser degree sex. Expectation dynamics being a key thing – gender roles of what women are “supposed” to be responsible for vs. men. Communication as well; some things being very easy for me to communicate about where horrifying for her to discuss. Stuff that she said casually was a big “what the fuck?” moment to me.

    6. Ahhhhh. It wasn’t talked about. I didn’t even have the uncomfortable parental “lets talk about…” Talk. It was trial and error and misconceptions on my part. The regional culture I grew up in was pretty muted and conservative about sex. It was (at the time) a slice of middle America and sex wasn’t something explored in the open via the media or between people. Hell, even as a teen it was pretty muted as a public topic between people.

    One thing of note for me, growing up, was I didn’t know anyone who was overtly publicly homosexual or bi. Nobody talked about it, even those people. I went blissfully through years just assuming everyone was straight. I understood the concept in theory, but not observing people acting or expressing homosexuality made it all distant theoretical. When the awareness hit me and I could see it through a more aware lens, it was pretty obvious in some folks.

    7. Hell no. What does this mean? 😉

    8. Pass. I’m gonna post about this today rather than babble here.

    9. Ha!

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      You make a good point about social mores, and I’m fascinated with the role of culture in terms of gender expectations. In the case mixed-cultural relationships, your example of ‘she says something in everyday conversation that leads to a WTF?!? moment for him’ has the potential to go way beyond Mars and Venus, I think. The Mister has dated a few women who were raised in other countries, and there were times when he felt like he was communicating with aliens. It was somehow…I dunno…more than being from two different planets; he often felt the ladies of his acquaintance weren’t even in his solar system.

  3. The Varied God

    You already have my input on question #1, but I’d like to add this: I have bounced around in the online world enough to have experienced a few ‘cam’ dates. Even though I find mutual masturbation greatly arousing, I think that it’s a dry and abstract event across the digital miles, with a stranger rubbing herself and going oh oh oh. I mean, at first I sought it out as much as many guys do, but I eventually found it to be one of the few sex acts that left me feeling kind of dirty and guilty rather than pleasantly self-satisfied.

    Now, about the neighborhood where I grew up. We lived on a street that was surrounded by woods, and in a neighborhood where most families had a lot of kids. I had, and I suspect many of the other kids in my neighborhood had, so many experiences in the woods. Karen C., Janis S., and most of all Brenda L. Ah, how many times I took Brenda L. to the woods and coaxed her out of her shorts and tennis shoes. This was before I really knew what to do, so we never fucked, never did anything to produce orgasms, but I knew I wanted to look at touch Brenda naked. Other guys went with us once in a while, including, from time to time, her brother. I like to think of those woods as teeming with premature, nude nymphs. We also built tree houses all the time, and often someone would steal some pages from their dad’s girly magazines and we would all beat off together. Funny how we never thought of it as gay or even weird, four or five of us sitting there with our pants down, staring at the same girl’s tits in a magazine and stroking our little cocks like crazy. I remember it was only my friend Billy who at the time could produce a burst of semen when he came–we were all quite impressed. Show off!

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I do, indeed, have your input regarding #1. And I appreciate your candid thoughts on cam sex. To clarify: Do you find that committing the act of simultaneous self-pleasure is something that leaves you feeling dirty/guilty/unsatisfied when you are breath-to-breath and skin-to-skin? Or does the empty feeling only occur as a result of digital interface? Also, along the lines of digital interactions… Does investment in the relationship make a difference? Or are the results the same regardless of whether the person on the other end of the line is friend or stranger?

      Interesting that your neighborhood/coming-of-age culture included not only boy-girl fondling, but also another, different form of mutual masturbation, a la “four or five of us sitting there with our pants down, staring at the same girl’s tits in a magazine and stroking our little cocks like crazy.” How old were you, I wonder? And at what age (if ever) did you and your friends start thinking in terms of labeling your activities (i.e., ‘gay’ or ‘weird’)?

      And I’m curious: Was Billy-the-show-off Brenda’s brother?

      1. The Varied God

        I’ve never had digital sex with anyone I knew well or had a relationship with aside from having met online. In person, I greatly enjoy the erotic intensity of mutual masturbation. Perhaps it’s the ability to kiss or embrace your partner at any point during the act, offering that reassurance that yes, we’re doing something nasty, and I am enjoying it if you are. After cam sex there’s only the awkward leaving the room to clean up, the embarrassed signing off, nothing really to say. Maybe I’m just not good at it?

        To be clear, none of us boys back in the neighborhood ever fondled one another. I just think that a lot of people, thinking about several boys sitting around jacking off together, might see something homoerotic in it. We were only ten to twelve years old then, hormones raging and oblivious to such things. This was something I never really thought about until much later. And here’s a question I am just now asking myself: what happened to Brenda? I played with her in the woods over a couple of summers, but by the time I was old enough to understand and experience orgasm, I forgot about her, preferring the erotic stimulation of girls in magazines. I wonder if she just got wiser and didn’t want to be stripping in the woods any more? I really don’t recall.

        And no, Billy wasn’t her brother. That was Danny. Billy’s sister was Michelle, a year older than me and quite out of my league. Funny how as I think about all of this it becomes clearer how much of our sexual selves is forming when we are really very young.

        1. Mrs Fever Post author

          Oh, I understood your circle jerk description for what it was. But to me, that is another, different form of mutual masturbation. You were not touching each other, and perhaps you were not making eye contact with each other or thinking about one another in a sexual way… But you were all masturbating in the same place, at the same time, for the same reason. A different connotation for the word ‘mutual’, but simultaneous sexual pleasure nonetheless.

          Perhaps you have a different term you apply to this experience?

          Thank you for further clarifying your experience(s) with cam sex. I wonder how the experience would differ if one of your online partners became a partner in 3D life? Or vice versa?

          And you’re right. Youth is when much of one’s sexual self ~ just like one’s physical, social, and psychological self ~ forms. So the sex culture of one’s youth is, in my opinion, vastly important to how one behaves sexually as an adult.

  4. Pingback: Kinky Fuckery: Getting Good Head | Speaking Out on Sex

  5. wildoats1962

    Middle School!?!? Now I feel old.

    1. Mutual masturbation, It kinda depends on how you define it. Playing with oneself in the presence of others, or playing with others. Jacking off and handjobs can both be called masturbation. The basic appeal for most would be either voyeurism or exhibitionism. Kinda reminds me of an Army story. I was dating M. Her niece was a few years younger than her, but they tended to hang out together. We would have double dates where one couple would be in the front seats and driving around while the other couple would be in the back seat fooling around. Like most guys I like visual stimulation so watching another couple is fun. I had never noticed my own exhibitionism until a blowjob during one of those rides. The niece moved the rear view mirror to make eye contact during the blowjob. That was intense.

    2. Intimacy, it’s personal. That pretty much sums it up for me. It doesn’t require a sexual connection at all.

    3. Kink, musical group

    4. Work, If you sleep 1/3 of a day, then work comprises half of your life. I have been attracted to people at work, but I’ve never had sex with any of them. I have read interviews with doms, I’ve known a few casually, I was friends with a sub that used to write reviews of S&M movies for a magazine. One theory I’ve often heard is that if a person is in a job where they are/maybe have to be domineering they turn sub in their private life as kind of a balance. I don’t know if I really buy that, but I hear it often.

    5. I had Malaysian roommates in college. I felt tall around them. Actually, having foreign roommates meant that I knew almost all the foreign students on campus. I didn’t get romantically involved with any of them. There was a Chinese student whose accent made it sound like she was singing her conversation, odd but pleasant.

    6. Pervy

    7. No, but I did grow out {unfortunate fat joke}

    8. I’ve matured?

    9. You only spell when you don’t want little kids to know what you’re talking about.

    10. Cheating is a violation of trust. My wife is about the least jealous person I know when it comes to sex. Money can be a real source of conflict. She is open about sexual desires, but if she hides a major purchase/expense that can be a violation of trust. If you’re involved in a threesome or moresome how can it be cheating if they’re right there.

    No giraffey kiss? I remember an episode of Family Guy where Peter is talking to Gene Simmons and his tongue unrolls goes around the corner then you hear Lois say Oh Gene.

    Wild

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I think you’re a little younger than my husband, so you were probably in your 20s when Let’s Talk About Sex was on the radio. I could take it or leave it; it didn’t have much appeal for me. My mother, however, threw hissy fits about the fact that Salt n Pepa were singing so…so…OPENLY…about SEX!, so I cranked it up whenever it was on, because I wanted to annoy her. My attitude was along the lines of, “Geez, Ma! Get over it, already!”

      Can’t say my attitude has changed much since then, to tell you the truth.

      And my mother will be visiting me in four days’ time.

      While we’re on the subject of family: Your neice/aunt scenario sounds a little wild, Wild. 😉

      I totally agree with you that intimacy doesn’t have to involve sex. The reason I asked this question is that the word ‘intimacy’ seems to come up repeatedly, particularly when people segue into thoughts about what constitutes ‘cheating’. Within the confines of a relationship, I think all parties should be on the same page about the meaning and personalized value of both those terms.

      I know all about “growing out”, my friend. It’s incredibly frustrating.

      And here is a giraffe-y smooch:

      Giraffe-y Smooch

  6. NormalDeviations

    10. I missed this one originally, ugh.

    I don’t know if I can adequately identify what cheating means to me. I think, like Wild said, a violation of trust is the core of it. Including withholding trust in some ways – whether that comes down to omission of information or expecting different standards to apply (not quite non-reciprocation, but close) between the people involved. But it doesn’t seem quite right in my head to define it that way, either.

    Like, is it okay to be emotionally intimate with someone as long as it isn’t enacted on physically? Both seem cheating, as long as the partner isn’t aware and, at the very least, accepting of that dynamic.

    Society implies that emotional cheating (as I’m calling it) is more acceptable than physical cheating of any degree. That giving your heart to someone is less frowned upon than kissing someone (romantically)? Seems kinda fuckered.

    I’m not sure cheating is any easier to define than kink or sex.

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      So, as at least a bare-bones definition, you both agree that ‘cheating’ is equivalent to ‘a violation of trust’… Yes?

      It’s a place to start, anyway.

      As for your examples(?), now would be a good time to revisit ‘intention’. Because if one person is *intentionally* kept unaware of what the other is doing, this (according to the definitional starting point you and Wild have created) is cheating. And if the *intention* is to gain physical release, society is (according to you) more accepting of that ‘type’ of ‘cheating’ than if ‘romance’ is involved…?

      What do you mean by ‘romantically’? And what, exactly, constitutes ’emotional cheating’?

      1. NormalDeviations

        Romantically, as I’m using it there, is non-chaste.

        I think that’s a valid interpretation of cheating – that intentional deception being what differentiates between cheating and not cheating. However, that is different than the intention which comes full circle to how to define intention. And it’s also morphing the use of intention to apply to what we’re talking about right now.

        I don’t believe the intention of physical release is more accepted by society as a whole than if it includes romance – I think society is more accepting if physical consummation doesn’t occur. In essence, society’s condemnation of the physical act without a comparable societal negative reaction if it doesn’t include the physical consummation.

        Which leads to the inclusion of choice, and the difference in how it can be applied in this context. It’s often argued that you can’t choose to fall in love with someone (which could be determined as cheating in an emotional way, depending on the subjective definition of emotional cheating) while it’s a deliberate choice to have sex with someone.

        Now, I don’t agree that there is no choice involved with emotional cheating or falling in love. I believe it can be a choice; people often delude themselves by preferring it not being choice.

        Not sure if i can rigidly define emotional cheating. That seems to be another subjective interpretation, no?

        1. Mrs Fever Post author

          And it’s also morphing the use of intention to apply to what we’re talking about right now.

          Actually, what we’re talking about right now is ‘cheating’ and its various interpretations. And where ‘intention’ comes up in most conversations I’ve had thus far, is specifically relative to ‘cheating’. So I’m not morphing anything. I’m just fascinated by the continual reoccurance of one term as relevant to another, neither of which anybody seems to be able to define.

          I have mixed feelings about choice.

          While I *do* believe that love can be found somewhat accidentally, I also believe that happenstance can only take you so far. At some point, you have to choose to love a person, and be intentional (there’s that word again!) about enacting that love: physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually.

          I also believe that the actions we take in expressing our love to our partner(s) are not always perceived as intended. (Again with the intent…) And that’s when the CHOICE to love someone becomes more obviously a CHOICE, and ~ quite frankly ~ it’s a choice that many people refuse to make.

          And going back to the ‘accidental love’ issue: If a person is part of a mutually-agreed-upon monogamous relationship, there is likely nothing ‘accidental’ about ‘love’ where ‘cheating’ is concerned. Opening one’s self to a sexually or emotionally intimate relationship with a new person (i.e., a non-S.O.) is a CHOICE, and if that choice is made unilaterally and/or without a partner’s support/assent…

          Watch out. ‘Cuz that spells all kinds of T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

  7. wildoats1962

    I’m still inclined to say deception and lying by omission are the things that really damage intimacy. Intimacy defined mainly as trust. If one claims to be monogamous but doesn’t consider getting a blowjob to be sex {ala Bill C.} that’s rationalizing to assuage one’s conscience. Rationalizing is making a ratio, numerator over denominator, the lowest, commonest, denominator is how the S.O. might view either of them. Even in an open relationship there needs to be communication, secrecy causes suspicion. Suspicion kills trust. Some rather open minded individuals might play well with others, but refrain from kissing because kissing is personal. In that case a blow job might get less attention than a tongue lashing.

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Trust is hugely important.

      One of the things I value most highly in relationships is honesty. I had the good fortune of being friends with my husband first, and to this day we both put our friendship first. It’s a philosophy that has helped us continually foster trust in our relationship.

      You say secrecy causes suspicion. Sometimes, yes. But not always.

      The Mister still has pieces of his past secreted away inside the locked rooms of his heart. I may never have the key to unlock them. And, like so many things that get shoved into nooks an crannies and subsequently stored away, he might not even remember that he even HAS those secrets.

      Are those secrets relevant to us as a couple? To our sex life? To our shared intimacy? Absolutely. Because the secrets we bury deepest are often the events that wounded us first, or worst.

      But the fact that he has those secrets does not make me suspicious.

      Does that make sense?

      1. wildoats1962

        Yes, and it also brings up the, “Sorry I didn’t mention that. It never came up in conversation.” type of secret. I was talking to my sister D. a couple of weeks ago and I don’t remember how it came up, but I told her the story of the Fourth of July 1982 events in my life. I went camping with Dawn that weekend, in Creston a mutual friend lived there. She had had medical training. On the way down there we saw the aftermath of a car accident. Some drunk 17 year olds rear ended a semi on the highway. She asked me to check out the guy still in the car, didn’t want to move him because he had head injuries but needed to keep an eye on things because the engine was smoking. Skip the next line if you’re squeamish, ………… his forehead hit the truck bumper and his eye was out of it’s socket but still attached…..

        The other two were covered in blood but as it turned out not seriously hurt. Scalp cuts from broken glass bleed like crazy. Living on or near farms and growing up with a hunting tradition you see gore. This was the first time I had seen human gore. I was kind of surprised I didn’t get sick. I have a hard time removing a splinter from someone else because I don’t like to make them flinch. By the time the ambulances arrived Dawn and I both had blood all over the lower part of our shirts and on our arms. This was before AIDS. Other than looking like we were in a slasher movie we didn’t give it much thought. When we met our friend for breakfast at a local restaurant we did get stared at {and seated in the back}. Thanks to the accident we had been up all night.

        After the weekend when I returned to Cedar Falls, I discovered I had gotten a case of chiggers. Them little buggers will drive you crazy, literally. I had 51 of them. I tried everything I could think of. At one point the itching had me so crazy that I put a stogie out on my leg to kill it. It worked, but man that hurt. I had managed to get two with one stogie, but I thought, do that 49 more times, no. I discovered that taking baths in ice water would kill the itch even if it didn’t get rid of the bugs. Fill an old clawfoot tub with a few inches of straight cold water then dump a bag of ice in {the smaller size} climb in and try not to die of hypothermia before the itching stops.

        My sister D heard that story for the first time just a couple of weeks ago. I did get chewed out by my folks and my sister J for not telling people I was going away for the weekend. I don’t think my wife has ever heard the story, or the will you hold my feet story. It’s not a secret, it just never came up. My dad was in the Korean War. He almost never talked about his experiences. After he died my mom told me that Dad had had a Japanese girlfriend during the war. My dad had mentioned it once but never talked about it afterwards. After my mom died I found some pictures of a Japanese lady and a small child. I had the wife of a friend translate it for me. It was a name and address. I do wonder if I have an unknown sibling.

        Science fiction writers have talked about telepathy and/or switching bodies with someone. To be in their body with their memories would be the ultimate intimacy. No one shares every fleeting thought.

        Sounds awful doesn’t it? Everybody has those fleeting thoughts where you tell yourself, that’s just wrong, funny, but wrong.

        Starting to take after AB, writing book length replies.
        Wild

        1. Mrs Fever Post author

          The “it never came up in conversation” type of secret can happen easily, and there have been times when I haven’t mentioned something to Smotch, because to me, it’s no big deal, and wasn’t important enough to even remember, let alone talk about. But he interprets ‘important’ a little differently than I do, and he processes information in a manner that I do not always understand, so sometimes what is ‘Oh, I totally forgot about that’ to me, is ‘OMG, why didn’t you tell me?!?’ to him. And vice versa. So we have to be careful about that sort of thing when we involve ourselves with other people, so as not to betray one another’s trust.

          I’ve never encountered chiggers. But you and Arch and Bang have all talked about them in such a way that the very idea of them gives me the heebie-jeebies. So yeah. Thanks for that. NOT.

          Interesting that you mention switching bodies. One of the questions Dave brought up on my Blog-gasms post was, “Would you swap genders temporarily? If so, why and what would be interesting about it?” If I switched bodies with somebody, I’d want to swap with someone who has a penis. 😀

  8. Sassy Sarah

    What is your experience with mutual masturbation? Seriously. I wanna know. 😉
    First what do you mean by mutual masturbation? We are two masturbating next to one another? or I am masturbating him and he is masturbating me?
    As for the latter of the two. That would be 90% of my sex life. My experience with it is, on an average I will cum ten to his one!! Sometimes more, but very few have been less. Ya i was pretty amazed when I found out I could have multiple organisms.Along with spraying everywhere…. I can make a mess. Yee haw yee haw…My thought of why I bloomed so late in life….If I had known what I could do, I would of been a porn star. No doubt about it. So today I would be (if I was still a live) a used up,strung out old hag…Looking for a fix to fill my drug habit.
    My man has ED. Has had it since before we were together.Someone shamed him when he was young (this is what I believe) Oh shit I forgot we set the clocks a head…I will finish these later…

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Daylight Savings Time is a pain in the patootie. Ugh. I WANT ANOTHER HOUR OF SLEEP! Lol.

      Mutual masturbation is up for individual interpretation, Sarah. And apparently, when *you* are up for mutual masturbation, things get a little bit…erm…WET. 😉

  9. tinymcsmall

    1. Democrats and Republicans.
    2. Intimacy is when you feel comfortable enough to share your feelings for a total stranger sitting next to you on a crowded form of public transportation. (See also : A Shared Moment)
    3. Isn’t that an unusual bend in a pipe or hose?
    4. I defiled a Three Hole Punch in copy room once, does that count?
    5. I still get wood at the word “Eh” as in “Oh, That drives me wild, eh?” or “Oh, I’m cumming, Eh?”
    6. Animal Husbandry.
    7. Most of me did. Except one very specific body part.
    8. Adjusted for inflation, it’s less expensive now.
    9. No, I started singing a Benjamin Franklin song. You wouldn’t know it, you have taste.
    10. Cheating is what I did on this test by copying the answers from NormalDeviations, I just reworded them enough so you wouldn’t notice.

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      1. Independent.
      2. Starting your own thesaurus, are you?
      3. Yes.
      4. Yes.
      5. Eh?
      6. Isn’t that polyfarmy?
      7. Too bad about your middle finger. Good thing size doesn’t matter when bowling.
      8. So you use a cock pump? And a cheap one at that…
      9. Yes, I’m tasty.
      10. I have a sudden urge to keep you after school for half an hour to make you bang erasers.

      Thanks for visiting, Tiny. Please cum again. 😉

        1. Mrs Fever Post author

          So you only have to replace your drum heads, like, every 14 years or so, then. Good of you to be so easy on your instrument.

  10. Sassy Sarah

    ok let me try this again, I do not know what I am doing wrong today, but it could be a number of things….
    • What are your thoughts on intimacy?
    My thoughts on intimacy….Intimacy is a connection between people. One that is real, and had depth. A good stimulating conversation can be intimate. What we are doing here is a form of intimacy. We are talking about things that are real and have some depth to them. We take a risk and expose ourselves in the hope that those we are having the conversation is also being real and true.
    Intimacy one on one I feel is something you have with a lover. This is a deep kind of intimacy. But here too we are giving a part of ourselves to another in the hopes that they will treat it with care. An intimacy between lovers is an emotional bond, giving and receiving physical pleasures can happen here.
    All of us as a group we have a connection and similar interests that stimulate us. We give a little of ourselves to keep the stimulation afloat.

    • How do you define ‘kink’?
    A kink in the neck, A kink in the hose,….A kink in a sexual play means to me that she/he enjoys things that others do not understand. And we all know when a group of people do not understand something one or two things happen .One people go and look for answer or two the group becomes “Sheepeople and the one with the biggest mouth gets to rein his judgment out for all the “Sheepeople to follow” Baa

    • Has your work culture influenced your sexual practices/experiences/relationships?
    Up till 3 years ago. I would have to say no. I was a waitress most of my life. I did set up dates for a few truck drivers. Because I worked at a truck stop and I knew girls. But my dumb ass wasn’t smart enough to get any money out of the deal. I went to school with the lady who runs the largest escort service around my area.
    Today my job, no wait my career is been linked with sex for over a 100 years. I do not give sexual favors. I would not be 1,000 of dollars in debt to do something I learned in high school.
    I do have to be professional at all times outside of my house. Because I live in a small town I have to be aware of things just to run and get milk
    A lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets!!

    • If you’ve been physically involved with a person whose nationality is different than your own, how did your differing backgrounds/cultures affect your relationship(s)? Expectations? Rules? Taboos? Decisions? Willingness to dress in costume?
    I have not been physical with any other nationality. I could tell you about Dirty White Boys, Or Skin Heads, but I will not waste yours and mine time.
    What I can add to this question is…I was raised by a single parent. When I was growing up I did not know many if any other kids that only had one parent. I have not had a relationship with anyone that was raised by a single parent.
    The dynamics here are huge. I don’t even know where to start here. I will leave this for another time..
    How would you describe the sex culture of the family/neighborhood/community/region/country in which you grew up?
    This is a funny one. I was babysitting at the age of 8. First of all an 8 year old is to young to be babysitting for days. I guess the days did not start until I was 10. But 8 is still young
    I was a digger (Sad but True) I just dug in peoples dresser drawer check shit out. I don’t remember me stealing anything I was just nosy and board. I found everyone that I babysat for sex toy.
    I do not remember a lot of sex talk with the grownups. They like to sit around and get drunk so I did hear some juicy shit. But it was more about who wife was sleeping with who’s husband and shit like that.
    Now I am 10 and I start babysitting for this couple. They had 3 kids. 7, 4, 2. This couple was huge. Each of them had to 300 plus pounds. They had everything. This was my first sex toy party. I can remember me and the 7 year old put the kids to bed and he showed me how to run a real to real movie that was porn. This couple would pick me up on Friday and leave me with their kids until Sunday night. So I started learning about sex..
    My Mom got married for a minute ( we are in the same time frame) and they were always having sex and I seem to always be walking in on them. I can still remember my mom and step dad in the 69 position .I was 9 or 10 then. Another thing that was “normal’ when I was in grade school was my girlfriend and I took showers together all the time. Nothing funny happen and we were always skinny dipping in the river..Now days if kids did that someone would make a big stink about it.
    One of the times we were skinny dipping and we were on the way back to my house which was just over the hill or dike and across the street/ We get to the top of the dike and I go running down it open my towel and fly. I have no close on. I am at full speed ahead straight into my mom and step dad. …

    • Did you grow up?
    No not for many many years. It’s funny how we spend most of our child hood wanting to be a grown up and most of our adult hood wanting to be a child…

    • Where sex and sexual interactions are concerned: As you’ve matured, how has your understanding/comprehension/perspective changed over time in terms of…
    1. Security and self-concept?
    My security in my being a sexual being has been tested more the last 7 years than ever before. Part of it is age, and the other part is dealing with ED. I would have to say the same with self-concept. My security in other areas of my life sucked.
    2. Emotion/Affection/Connection requirements for physical engagement?
    Before my man I did a lot of fucking. I did love my youngest daughters father. I can say that. I did not like my oldest daughters father until after she was born. We party together, did a lot of drugs and fuck a lot. As for an emotional connection there was none. Now the youngest dad. I had known him for years. He was my shoulder to cry on when things went array with the oldest father. I loved him with all my heart. He turned out to be the worst of the two…Today I do not like the man at all. I talk to him, I am civil to him. My youngest has no idea that I actually loath the man. (long sad story) And she never will. It would do her know good to know something like that.
    Today I have a deep emotional bond with my man. He is really a sensual man. Shit it took me 5 years to get him to slap my ass. Mean while when we are camping and getting drunk his cousin would take a boat paddle to my ass. He do a step into it. Man that thing made a crack, I could get wet thinking about that. A boat paddle does not hurt. The pain is distributed evenly over your ass. But boy did I look cool. People would be standing around with a dumb look on their face, mouth opened. Good Times..My man just can’t do it much.
    3. Respect? And how you ~ according to your own personal philosophical construct ~ demonstrate, reciprocate, and generally understand the concept of R-E-S-P-E-C-T?
    I answered this one earlier on Monkeys page…..

    1. wildoats1962

      I don’t mean to intrude in your conversation, but you said something that triggered a rather strong reaction in me. “It would do her know good to know something like that.” I wish more people shared that sentiment. The world would seem like a nicer place. I understand that some need closure. I don’t think inner peace is achieved through externals. When I talk to my cousin Richard, every time I bring up some happy memory, he dredges up some unpleasantness. The relatives that he has problems with are all dead, most have been dead years. I felt like telling him to get over it. That wouldn’t do any good, his sister says that to him every year when he refuses to attend family reunions. I learned more about certain family squabbles after my mom died. My mom basically had a policy of not speaking ill of the dead. My siblings avoided certain subjects while she was alive in order to avoid trouble. With her gone, they don’t feel like holding back any more. I agree that knowing something is not always better.

      1. Sassy Sarah

        I agree…And thank you…I try with every pore in my body to do the right thing when it comes to talking with my girls about their fathers. I made choices, and I can give you all kinds of justifications to why I made certain choices, but in the end the fact is I made the choice. Every child deserves to have a relationship with both of their parents without the bias of the other parent playing in their heads. I know about family fuck up ness. It is what I have been writing about the last few days…Sounds like your cousin is stuck in his head…That is a detrimental place to be for to long. We all have to check in once in awhile, because not checking in is just as detrimental as being stuck.in our heads.It always comes back to balance…My fear the last few days is getting stuck in my head. I can not do that to myself. Not this time. I have worked to hard and am so close, I can not allow my family to bring me down. It does feel like they are doing there best too. do just that bring me down.
        Now my little brother is struggling, with questions. There is 14 between us. He is my only brother. Lived me the majority of his life…His relationship with our mom was completely different than mine was..i have tried really hard not to inflict my pain on to him. What good would that do? I do not need a pain buddy…He received a shoe box after stopping over to our aunts last Friday. I have no relationship with this aunt due to a lot of pain inflicted a pond me, cruel pain, because she could not handle her own pain and had to lash out at someone. A child no less. Nope have no time for people like that. Any how, in this shoe box was some of our moms writing. My mom had been gone for 9 years now. in the shoe box were two letters in sealed envelopes. one was address to him and the other was addressed to me. 9 years later. I was livid, Two weeks before I graduate and now you give them to us…WTF…I have not seen the box yet that will be here at the end of the week. But now he has unanswered questions going through his head. I will not lie to him if he asks the right question. But i do not know if I will volunteer anything either. And here we are on honesty and communication. Not leaving anything out. GOOD TIMES!! I needed to babble,
        for a minute,it’s how I’ve been staying out of my head.
        Goodnight

    2. Mrs Fever Post author

      I like the way you describe intimacy as ‘taking risks’ and ‘giving a little of ourselves’. Taking risks is part of establishing and maintaining trust, which goes hand-in-hand with intimacy. And we don’t always have to give our whole selves to share something intimate. There are levels to intimacy, I think. Intimacy can be anything from a shared moment with a practical stranger (as Tiny said) to soul-melding oneness.

      A kink in a sexual play means to me that she/he enjoys things that others do not understand. As definitions go, I think this is a great place to start.

      Interesting that your response to the work culture question was to discuss the relationship between sex and money. That might be a new avenue to explore.

      Your description of skinny dipping with your friend goes hand in hand with what The Varied God was talking about earlier. When we are young, we often do things without thinking of them in terms of labels. We just do them. It is only when we are older that we realize how those actions could be interpreted in a sexualized or homoerotic way. And usually, at the time/age we are doing those things (skinny dipping, showering with our friends), we are just doing what feels comfortable and natural, and sex is the farthest thing from our minds.

      The single-parent-family dynamic is a fascinating point of discussion. I think you might be on to something there.

      The condition of E.D., and its impact on relationships, is an interesting topic as well. It’s not something I have experience with, but I’d be interested in learning more.

      I’d like to see read what you wrote about respect, but I’m not sure which one of Monkey’s posts you responded on. And my ‘Comments I’ve Made’ function on my WordPress Dashboard hasn’t been working for the past few days, so I can’t find the thread. So I’m gonna head over to his blog now to see if I can figure out where it is.

  11. Sassy Sarah

    The way I feel about respect is I try to respect everyone. I say try because we all have our days and if someone cuts me off while we are driving and I am having a day i may give them the finger which is not respectful.
    I try to give respect to everyone who’s path I cross. Whether they show me respect or not.
    I feel that the lack of respect we have in this world is one our biggest problems. Not everyone is going to like everyone, that is a fact. But everyone can show everyone else a little respect when paths are crossed. It is not that hard to show respect.” Don’t be rude, don’t budge in line, don’t say mean things, ect….”.
    I will give you my respect, if you disrespect me, I will still give you mine but you will have to earn it now if you want me to have respect for you.
    I think what I am trying to say is I will be respectful to you, but that does not mean I respect you as a person. Which then would mean I will not go out of my way for you, i will not promote you, shit I will not even think about you….

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I found your response on Monkey’s blog and responded to the two of you there as well, but my comment hasn’t been approved yet. Probably because he sleeps at night. Lol.

      There is definitely a distinction between (1) treating a person respectfully, and (2) respecting a specific person.

      I prefer for both elements to be present in any significant relationship.

      1. Sassy Sarah

        A “relationship” I think respect is huge. If you do not have respected why do you have a relationship?? I can see if you did have respect and something happen to make you lose some of that respect (not all) and the relationship was worth working at. To lose (all) respect, that should be a clue that this relationship is over. Cry in your beer, smoke a joint, grieve, but let it be over…
        I feel a lot of problems in relationships is that we can not let go. The respect is gone so should the relationship…
        When I was in prison I learned a lot. I should write a blog on that one…one of the things I saw so much of was the lack of respect. Lack of respect for one’s self, lack of respect for others and lack of respect for authority. This is when i started really looking at people. The lack of respect towards authority, This did not make sense to me..You do not have to like them, but we are locked up and they do have control over us and how we spend our time..You disrespect a guard, they are going to make you uncomfortable. When I got there I was like “holy shit, I really fuck up this time” With only a year to go after already completing 6 years of probation, I go to prison for 14 months. I would say that I fuck up…So instead of 7 years I had 9 and a felony on my record, where if I had made it the 7 the felony would of dropped down to a gross misdemeanor Which is a lot better than a felony. Exceptionally for assault charges. But that was not in the cards for me….Truth is I would not change a thing. Ya it sucked, life sucked before I went. I cry every day I was there. Pain pored out every pore in my body. But I learned and I grew and today I am happy to the core…
        Sorry I keep finding myself going in all kinds of directions lately.
        Something in the cosmos must be at work. My next adventure!!

        1. Mrs Fever Post author

          Authority. Yet another issue to examine.

          Sometimes moving in multiple directions is exactly what we need to do to stretch ourselves a bit. 🙂

  12. Sassy Sarah

    I agree..I find when I am all over the place, some clear insights about to appear…Another issue I have conquered..
    I think a fun question would be how did you learn to give a blow job? Did you learn it by what your friends told you, did you learn by watching porn, reading a book, trial and error..
    The reason this question came up in my head was not so long ago my girlfriend was here and we were talking, she brought up the story about when I used a banana to show her how to give a blow job..I had forgotten about that but it was a good laugh…..

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  14. kdaddy23

    Wow… a lot of interesting questions! Maybe it’ll be easier to answer the questions I didn’t answer when you commented on my blog? Anyway…

    1. Been there, done that, there should be more of it and regardless of gender.
    2. Intimacy is about sharing; it’s not something I take a narrow view on because I found you can be sexually intimate, emotionally intimate, and even intelligently intimate with someone.
    3. I pass on the word because I’ve come to understand that humans will do whatever they can to achieve pleasure although I acknowledge that anything that isn’t heterosexual sex in the missionary position is considered to be kinky.
    4. My former work culture didn’t lend itself to those things except trying to get laid to relieve the tremendous stress that got piled on me.
    5. I’ve always found cultural differences in a relationship to be interesting and sometimes problematic. What I learned was that despite the differences, we’re really the same.
    6. I’d say there was great urgency to do the deed when I was growing up; we were just breaking away from the high morals of the 1950s and the sexual revolution – thanks to Flower Power – was in full gear and truly lent itself to the saying, “If it feels good, do it.” It did and I did and so did many of my peers.
    7. I did grow up… and I’m still not sure that was a good thing.
    8. This is a tough one. At this point in my life, I know I look at the things you mention in a very different way and it’s not necessarily conventional thinking. I am secure in who and what I am and I do understand myself quite well. When it comes to sex, well, I’ve learned not to be very picky about it because if I sit and wait around for the right person to come along at the right time, I might not have ever gotten laid. So while it is about the person you’re doing it, it’s really more about being able to do it and to make the best of the moment as possible. To do anything else kinda defeats the purpose of being able to have sex, casual or otherwise.
    9. No, I didn’t; I was too busy scrolling up and down to locate the questions…
    10. Cheating. Okay, the simplest way to describe it is any time one or both people step outside of the established ‘contract’ and without prior permission to do so. But, to me, it’s not that people cheat on each other physically or emotionally – it’s all about why they do it and I believe it’s because we were all dumb enough to believe that one person could be everything we ever wanted and needed and that they could, on an impossibly consistent basis, take care of all those needs and regardless to what they are. It’s a lie and an illusion created God knows how long ago and people cheat because it’s all one incredible lie… and it’s easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      #2 ~ My friend and fellow blogger Dave, over at Normal Deviations, has similar thoughts about intimacy, which he expounds upon here.

      #3 ~ The Suburban Domme is attempting to tackle the What is ‘kink’? question (particularly because of the process she’s gone through to understand and ~ as much as possible ~ embrace her husband’s ‘kinks’), and her first post on the topic is here.

      #8 ~ I find it interesting that you are “not very picky” about sex, as I have found myself getting pickier and pickier as the years go by. Especially in terms of who does and does not qualify for sexual partnership. And I don’t mean that in a physical sense (size queen issues notwithstanding); it’s more a matter of distancing myself from any kind of ‘meaningless’ sex. Connectedness and compersion are important to me, and both require much more than strictly physical interaction.

      #10 ~ The cheating conversation, as you know, has been taken up by the Monkey, and there has been much discussion of the topic over there. I will say a few words, however, about Begging Forgiveness vs Asking Permission.

      In my own marital relationship, the rules are negotiated, and they are continually re-negotiated as new circumstances/experiences/relationships emerge. For one of us to intentionally step outside the bounds of our negotiated terms, with the attitude of ‘I’ll just ask for forgiveness later’ would be grossly disrespectful. And disrespect is one of my hard limits. If I’m not being respected in a relationship, I’m not IN the relationship. Considering how open we (my spouse and I) are with one another, and how hard we work at being transparent, that sort of betrayal would be a conscious choice to actively engage in acts of deception. And *that* is unforgiveable. And violation of trust is, for me, a form of emotional rape. It is (always has been; always will be) 100% unacceptable.

      1. kdaddy23

        In my mind, there’s no such thing as meaningless sex nor should there be. People have it in their heads that sex has to mean something other or more than what it is – that chance to be intimate and, as I like to say, get as physically close to another person as humanly possible. That, to me, has meaning; the meaning is in the act itself and anything else, I feel, only serves to complicate things; would you agree that people spend more time trying not getting laid than they do trying to get laid… and they want and need to get laid?

        If you do, then perhaps you see what I mean… if not, holla – we’ll talk.

        1. Mrs Fever Post author

          I’m not exactly sure what you mean about the ‘spend more time’ thing. But to address what I *think* you mean:

          I am particularly good at compartmentalization when it comes to sex. Any consensual act of physical intimacy is, in and of itself, meaningful to me. But just because you have the biggest dick in the room does not mean I’m even remotely interested in it; I’ll only be interested in your cock if I am interested in YOU. (And I mean ‘you’ in a general way; not you, specifically.) A connection has to happen on some other level (chemical, intellectual, etc) before I will be interested in pursuing any sort of sexual association.

          It’s just how I’m wired.

          That said…

          ‘Meaning’ ~ especially with the way I compartmentalize my experiences ~ does not require anything *beyond the moment*. A lot of people get caught up in the idea that if sex means something then it must somehow mean everything. And I just don’t think that way.

          1. kdaddy23

            Nah, it doesn’t mean everything… but it means something, doesn’t it? It’s sex; if we (generally) can find a way to do it – read that as we like each other enough to do it – well, why not? And that means something – at least to me anyway but people think I’m weird to begin with…

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