Chick-a-POW! And Sha-ZAM! And DAMN, I think there’s a run in my Liebster-hozen.

(NEW AND IMPROVED:  The links are now properly aligned.  Sorry ’bout that, friends.)

Also, don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Beautiful Blogger

Nor should you let it irritate you that I’m inspiring.  (I actually got this one twice.)

wpid-badge-veryinspiringbloggeraward

Instead, please concern yourself with the fact that I’m some sort of Germanic Mason Illuminati crossbreed.  Which is to say, I am what you get when you mix a hipster with a lobster.  I’m a Liebster.  (Plus, I can do the fandango.  Naked.  Can YOU?)

Liebster

SO.

I got some awards and stuff.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Now as a general rule, I typically ignore award protocol… 

Cuz you’re supposed to post like 73 facts about yourself and then link to 101 blogs and ask other bloggers a metric fuck ton of questions.  And I just don’t have time for that, considering the fact that (1) I have mad piles of laundry to do, and (2) I’m maintaining a stringent bowling schedule these days.

…but this time I’m going to make an exception with my acception:  I’m going to ignore award protocol.

However:  The general joe-bob-doo-hickey-ness of good manners is to (1) NOT snort macaroni and cheese through one’s nose, and (2) say “thank you” when people invite you to wear a fez.  Which is sort of what all this beautifully inspiring liebsterness is all about.

(Please click here for further clarification.  Seriously.  Click it.  But don’t be eating macaroni & cheese when you read, because you will end up snorting it out your nose.)

Unless you’re one of those people who thinks these awards are not actually awards at all, but are, in fact, chain letters started by people who are really into chain.  Which would mean, if you are anything like me, what you really want to do is have a little heart-to-heart (or mouth-to-penis or vag-to-vag) convo with the chain people and be like, “Dude, enough with the chain, already!  Expand your horizons!  Try some rope.  Or maybe some cuffs.”

Which reminds me, I got that additional set of cuffs I was wanting.  (Click that link if you’re interested in the TMI portion of this evening’s program.  I’m not really in the mood to write a list of The 11 Idiosycracies of Duchess le Feve.)

Oh, and the cuffs?  Matching.  Set.  Wrists and ankles, people.  *Grin*

‘Kayso, to the people who gave me awards:  Thanks for the nominations and stuff.  I think you’re awesome for thinking I’m awesome enough to certify as awesome in such an awesome fashion.  It is really too awesome for words.

And the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round…

If you can’t make the mental leap from ‘wheels on the bus’ to ‘Keanu Reeves’, you need to take some B-vitamins. Then watch some ’90s movies.

You know who *I* think is awesome?

No, you are thinking.  I have no idea who you think is awesome, Feve.

That’s okay!  Cuz I’m gonna tell you!  😀

READY?

It’s YOU!

I think YOU are awesome.

Because you are reading my blog.

So instead of providing you with a bunch of random facts about me (facts that will leave you wanting to bleach your brain), I think YOU should provide ME with random facts about yourselves.

Or we could play Jeopardy!

You:  I’ll take “I’m Drawing A Blank for 100, Feve.”

Me:  The movies Bringing Up Baby and His Girl Friday had this common denominator in terms of talent(s).

(insert Jeopardy theme song here)

Drawing a blank?

Yeah, that was kind of the point.

Not the kind of thing you were expecting?

Yeah, that was also kind of the point.

You’d be amazed at how multi-faceted I am.  Sort of like a diamond.

Yep.  I’m a regular diamond in the buff.

Except for when I’m wearing my Liebster-hozen.  😛

0 thoughts on “Chick-a-POW! And Sha-ZAM! And DAMN, I think there’s a run in my Liebster-hozen.

  1. seriousseamus

    And here I thought you didn’t accept awards, or you would have been one of my inaugural Simply Sunful 7! Congrats on the macaroni snorting, and the recognition and stuff. You’re a peach!

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Well, I *acknowledge* awards, even if I do so somewhat improperly. 😉

      And as for the peach thing… I suppose I am getting a bit fuzzy down there… But how did YOU know that???

      Reply
  2. Michael Conoan

    Random fact about me? Hmmmmm.

    I have a wart on my right ring finger. I’ve been treating it with Compound W. Much nicer than the liquid nitrogen when was used on me as a kid, but to no avail. .. Wanna know what finally did the trick? (I don’t like to tell this story, but I will.) .. I had my “first confession” and they were magically (mysteriously?) gone soon after. .. –SPOOKY!– .. They were bad back then. This is just one, but it reminds me that I’m a “sinner”. lol

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Warts…

      Hunh. And here I thought guys got hairy palms from masturbation…

      And with all this talk of confession, now I am wondering what the new pope’s palms look like. Lol.

      Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      The Germans amuse me, what with their weinerschnitzels and those funny little suspender things.

      I think I need a sparkly tassle for my fez. It seems a bit plain. (Note to self: Add some bling-y to your thingy.)

      Reply
    2. Mrs Fever Post author

      P.S. I fixed the links. So now I’m properly linked to your Liebsterhood, and my people can get together with your people and..you know…have sex and stuff.

      Reply
        1. Mrs Fever Post author

          Blog Overlords = B.O.

          Let’s think about that for a moment, shall we?

          All hail our new B.O.!

          I think we need to add a pit sniff to our secret handshake. Whattaya think?

          And I’m sorry my linkage went all screwy. Might have something to do with the fact that I was blogging at 2:00am. Woops!

          Reply
  3. williamsjoel22

    Yes You are, Mrs. Fever, a “Diamond in the Buff”…LOL!!! Congratulations on all Your awards; You deserve them 🙂

    Reply
  4. NormalDeviations

    Hey Feve, you rock. This is an awesome award response post of awards (redundancy is always cool, right?) But… I have a question for you: how much is a metric fuck ton? How the hell do you actually measure that?

    Oh, random Dave fact: I drove 717 miles over the weekend. More than I drove over the last two months, combined.

    And… I take two showers each morning, basically. Why? Because I almost always forget to rinse shampoo out of my hair the first time. Go ahead, call me an idiot – I’m used to it. Established character trait.

    Happy Monday, eh!

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I don’t rock, so much as I roll. And there’s a difference between redundancy and reiteration. 😛

      To answer your question:

      cran: weight measurement equal to 37.5 imperial gallons of herring

      metric fuck ton: the average combined weight of adult active erect penises in British empirical countries at any given time, as measured in cran

      So now I have a question for you: Is your ass numb from all that driving?

      And… Is your penis numb from all that jacking off in the shower?

      I don’t call people names (unless it is a nickname *I* have bestowed), so you will not be “idiot”-ed today. Not by me, anyway.

      And it is a happy Monday, indeed. Today is my birthday. 😀 So Happy Monday to ME!

      Reply
      1. NormalDeviations

        Happy biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthday, Feve! Even though it’s a Monday!

        Good definitions, though it still doesn’t help me understand it as a unit of measure. 😛

        1) Nay. I am pretty content after that driving spell. Need moar driving!

        2) Negative. Subjective penis is capable of even more jacking off in the shower and out of it, as the situation may warrant! 😛

        Reply
        1. Mrs Fever Post author

          A warrant may be warranted if you keep that up in public. (Get it? Keep it up? Baa-ha-ha… Nevermind.)

          More questions are forth-cumming. I’ll have a new post up this afternoon. Prepare yourself for a braingasm. 😀

          Reply
  5. wildoats1962

    I might have to mention that pit sniff next time I’m over at Arch’s. It starts as a sniff, then a lick and before you know it you can have a horny guy under each arm.

    Reply

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