THAT is the response he gave when I asked him to write for me.
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And he satisfies me without prompting as well…
(Though the proper term for it ’round these parts is not prompt… It’s Frompt. 😉 )
I mean, after all, it’s not everyday a man starts blogging from a new platform…
Just because he doesn’t want me to miss out on what he’s writing.
As submitted by my good friend Ganien:
The first thought I had on the topic of seduction was this attempt at a definition that popped into my head after a few days of puzzling about the topic:
Seduction is the art of getting people who are much sexier than you to be interested in having sex with you.
This definition was provided entirely by my subconscious so now I’m frantically trying, in a stream-of-consciousness sort of way, to understand what that means.
Obviously being good at seduction is irrelevant if you are already a devastatingly attractive person. In my experience, really good looking people are usually horrible at sex because they don’t care much about pleasing their partner, they are accustomed to people trying their best to impress.
Sometimes I am walking around town and I notice some smoking-hot woman walking by, and then I realize she is walking hand-in-hand with a really middle-of-the-road kind of shabby-looking guy and I say to myself, “now that guy must have some serious game.”
Which made me think immediately of this photo, which always gives me a chuckle:
The point is, clearly the fellow pictured has some kind of clear natural ability to seduce people way above his physical station. I like to wonder what the advantage is. The implication made in the text is that the man is smart… but his special talent could be anything that levels the playing field: he may be rich; he may be lucky; he may be well-hung; he may be really good at conversation; he may be a fantastic listener. Or, if my wife Katie is to believed, he might just be the king of housework because lately she finds that to be the sexiest thing a man can do.
Which brings me to a totally new method of seduction I only recently became aware of, something my wife calls choreplay:
Choreplay works like this: when my wife wants me to sanitize the entire house and do the laundry, she makes up some obviously bogus story about how if anyone ever wanted to make porn that would make women swoon and wet their pants and rub themselves desperately against your leg, it would have to start with a man scrubbing the floor.
But somehow I always narrow my eyes at her because I find this revelation to be sort of dubious. A man isn’t going to pick up a lover because he does housework. So this rule would apply only if you already had a man, and you think you might find it sexy to see him participating in the housework.
When I first met my wife she used to get wet and make little purring noises whenever guys like Apollo Ohno or pretty much any cute buff male athlete would appear on TV. I think every time I noticed that reaction, I always felt a tiny pang of jealousy – but no, let’s call it envy – that the guy was so hot he could get my girlfriend into bed just by raising an eyebrow. So feeling a little emasculated by such lofty competition, I started making little cutting statements like, “yeah but I’ll bet that guy really sucks at washing dishes without being told to.”
So let’s but Katie’s theory to the test: if her statement is true, you had better bone up on your bathroom-scrubbing skills because hot women really take notice of that kind of thing. Really. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sitting at a bar talking to a guy that looks like Orlando Bloom, and one after the other, the most devastatingly hot women have walked straight past him to ask me how I get those old orange urine stains off the bottom of the toilet seat.
Then of course I read this article: http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=men-who-do-housework-have-less-sex.
Enlightened people everywhere were totally confused at the results of this study: men who do housework get less sex. Specifically for purposes of illustration, a man who does housework might get sex three times a week when one who doesn’t gets sex five times a week. That’s two extra romps in the hay for a guy who is too manly to fold laundry.
Katie pulled the bullshit lever when I read her this story. She said because I do housework, she feels more like we are equal partners and I get more sex. We don’t have another loverboy in our household (darn!) who struts around like Fabio and callously leaves dirty dishes in the sink, to compare with, so I can’t really prove or disprove her assertion.
But… I have a new girlfriend who is very attracted to very very bad manly men. Men with macho jobs like police or firemen, military, or even guys just having tattoos or a motorcycle, turns her legs to jelly. And she loves to complain bitterly about how she fawns over them and takes care of them and they don’t even buy her Christmas presents, they slap her, put holes in her drywall, and kick her cats across the room. And yet she is still attracted to the next one that comes along.
I, on the other hand, am a sensitive guy and inadvertently, it seems, I am rather adept at seduction. She loves that I treat her with such respect, that I talk about my feelings, that I ask her questions and show curiosity about who she is. But it took a long period of friendship before she decided that I might make an interesting sex partner, and it never took more than a few hours for the other guys, who are not otherwise any better looking than I am, to get to the same place.
So I am curious to see what readers make of that.