Let’s consider this the equivalent of a drunk text. Except I’m sick, not drunk. And this is not a text, it’s a tapped-out-on-my-dumbfone (no, my phone is NOT smart, not.at.all) blog entry.
You know that feeling when every sphincter muscle in your body is contracting, and your stomach is roiling from the water you just put in it, and you can’t breathe through your nose but the whole mouth-breathing thing gives you gag reflex?
Well, let me tell you: It’s miserable.
I’m miserable. 🙁
And I have to keep my brain occupied while I am involuntarily awake at this ungodly hour, so as not to focus overmuch on the acid churning in my stomach or on the fierce gymnastics competition taking place in my intestines. Therefore, I blog.
I am miserable, therefore I blog.
Heh. I wonder if WordPress is looking for a new slogan. 😛
Alka Seltzer, take me away…
Oh. Woops, that’s Calgon.
Heaven knows I could use a bath. I’m a little *sick* of spending time in the bathroom though. Literally.
I thought I was over this. (Insert imagined much-put-upon sigh, here. I can’t give you a *real* put-upon sigh right now, though I’d like to. Because, vomit. Such ucky! WOW!)
I got sick on Christmas night.
I usually spend Christmas night engaged in much more jolly activities, letmetellya.
But not THIS Christmas!
Whole lotta nope.
Because I got sick.
I spent 21 of the following 36 hours sleeping. Once every ounce of food-type substance had exited my body, that is.
I figured it was either food related or I had some kind of 24 hour bug. Yesterday passed without incident. I thought I was better.
I. Am NOT. Better!
Second verse, worse than the first.
I think there was a song by that title^ a few years back. I’d sing it for you, except it’s a bit too post-neo-garage-band-angst for my taste.
I do sing, you know. Randomly and enthusiastically, with or without cause. And not just in the shower.
And when I can’t remember the lyrics, I make them up. Or hum.
I am going to attempt to sleep. I think the worst is over.
Thanks for keeping me company. Misery lives company, you know. ;)+
I hope your night is much better than mine. <3