I have been asked variations on this question often.
This answer is obviously personalized, but I read something about breast play today that made me smile in its accuracy and I purposely went looking for this email exchange afterward because, well… Because.
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From my email archives…
So what precisely and in detail, would you like someone to do with your nipples (assuming you are already at that point of arousal where you welcome it)?
I don’t know if this is true for all females or if it’s just a Me Thing, but I have to already be aroused before I can tolerate attention to my breasts. And then it really depends on my mood. There’s no perfect formula when it comes to tantalizing those two little (and they are little ~ barely a B cup) mounds of flesh. However, there are some things in general that are important to know if you (well, not *you* specifically) want to engage in nipple play with me.
I tend to protect my core, so perhaps that’s why I feel this way, but…
No sneak attacks. I don’t like to be grabbed suddenly or pinched (no pinching or twisting!) out of the blue. I also don’t like to experience immediate suction on my nipples without any regard to the rest of my body.
Provided I’m already at a point of arousal where I welcome it…
I like soft (but not too soft ~ I’m ticklish!), confident (as opposed to firm; I bruise easily) circular fingertip strokes that work their way teasingly inward, from the supple outer flesh to the areola to the now-puckering/gradually-responding tense little nipple. But I prefer initial touches *on* the nipple to be few and far between. Just enough to make me want more; not so much that I’m overwhelmed. If I’m over-stimulated (or just not properly stimulated to begin with), I lose interest. The object is to make me *want* your mouth on my nipples. Sooo…
I like soft, confident strokes, gentle kisses, light nips of the teeth…paying attention to the undersides of my breasts, cupping them (not squeezing!), talking to me about them (I love to be talked to when I’m aroused; sexy words work wonders on me, in part because my brain is my biggest sex organ)…
All of these things are extraordinary nipple foreplay. Just like working your fingers and mouth over my labia and pressing against my G-spot makes me beg for you to suck on my clitoris, the same is true for getting me to a point where I’ll beg you to suck on my nipples. If you want to get to the ‘point’ (either one), you have pay attention to the big picture.
Once I’m begging (and panting and writhing and grasping the sheets so as not to squirm out from under your touch), you may partake of a nipple feast.
Well, I have small breasts, so maybe it’s more like a nipple snack? Appetizer? Snacketizer!
I like having my nipples pressed between your lips (no teeth!) and tugged up away from my body in a series of little tugs. This creates two long little points that become insatiable attention sluts. Sluts! I need for you to vary force and pressure, because too much of the same level of stimulation over time makes me lose interest. If you don’t mind tossing things up a bit, then… Lick them, nip them, tug them, suck them, rub your whiskers over them, blow on them, lave them, tell me how they taste (talk to me!), roll them between your fingers, scrape your nails over them, spank them with your palms, massage the head of your cock over them, swirl your tongue around them. Any of it, all of it, just DO it, ohmyGod, do it NOW!
I think you get the picture.
Eye contact is key during all of this. Pay attention to what I’m saying with my eyes. I’ll use my mouth too, but I don’t hide what I’m feeling when it comes to sex, and my eyes are an open book. If I flinch, it’s generally an indication that something is uncomfortable. If I’m panting and kind of unfocused/dazed, that’s a good thing. When I was last with a woman, I pretty much did all the things I described above, and I quickly discerned from reading her eyes and her body language that she needed/preferred firmer touches than I do myself. So I did everything to her that I know *I* like and then I tweaked those things to ‘fit’ her, discarding things that garnered negative responses and fine-tuning the things that worked. It was partially intuitive, but also it was largely a matter of paying attention. And it’s the “paying attention” part that men seem to generally lack. It’s like they see a breast and they think about what *they* want to do to that breast, without any thought or care as to how their ministrations will be received.
And like I said earlier, it depends on my mood. Are we having anal or vaginal sex? Oral? Am I already so aroused that I’m shaking? Or are you trying to ‘get me in the mood’? Are we playing rough? Have I just been spanked? Am I Edging? Are you? Are you tied up? Are we fucking or making love? Scratching an itch or feeding a need? Is this an exploration at hello or a memorialization at good-bye? Wake-up sex? A nooner? And who is my partner? What is our dynamic?
There are at least a hundred different kinds of sex, and each encounter (even when they are back-to-back sessions with the same person) has its own mood. No two experiences are the same. So I can talk in general about what I like, but it stands to reason that if you and I were to spend all day in bed together tomorrow, some of my ‘Likes’ would be ‘Loves’ and others would would not apply.
Let’s talk about ‘Loves’ for a moment: When I’m getting close to orgasm (normally I can only handle this kind of attention when I’m already highly aroused, which generally means I’m experiencing vaginal/clitoral stimulation at the same time), I start feeling tingling sensations in my nipples. Like tiny little pinpricks across my pebbled flesh. At that point, I love (love, Love, LOVE) something my husband does to me that I don’t really have a name for. He sucks my nipples up into his mouth, keeping it tugged up away from my body to create a ‘pulling’ sensation. Then he uses the underside of his tongue to thrash them. It’s kind of like being on the receiving end of a rather unique nipple spanking. It’s not something I can tolerate immediately; it has to be built up to. If he tried this when I was just getting aroused, it would be Game Over. But when I’m teetering on the edge of orgasm, this unique blend of pleasure-pain makes me lose control…
…and I cum.
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Questions, comments, and differences of experience are welcome. There is obviously a lot I did not cover here; this was originally an email, after all, and as such, was a tailored response to a close friend. There is so much more that could be said. The female nipple pleasure (or lack thereof) factor remains shrouded in mystery and it can be daunting for our partners. Knowledge is power; share yours!