Squirting, sometimes also known as gushing, refers to the expulsion of fluid from the urethra during sexual arousal. The term is often used, in common parlance, synonymously with ‘female ejaculation’, though analysis has shown there to be a difference between (1) the chemical structure of fluids emitted, and (2) the amount of fluid created, depending on the woman.
There is much debate about both squirting and female ejaculation, which – for education and clarification purposes – I will discuss as separate phenomena for the purposes of this post.
There is also much debate about what, exactly, these erotic fluid emissions are -and- about whether or not the expulsion of said fluids during various stages of arousal** is ‘normal’.
**The use of the word ‘arousal’ instead of ‘orgasm’ is intentional. It is common for women who squirt to do so independently of orgasm. Gush ≠ Cum, and while the two may be correlative, this is not always the case. Equating the two biological responses is a mistake. Women can orgasm without ejaculation, just as men can; and can, vise versa, ejaculate without orgasming.
First and foremost: YOU ARE NORMAL.
If you are a female and you experience squirting and/or ejaculate when you are aroused, you are perfectly normal. If you squirt as part of your orgasm, whether in the lead-up or during climax, you are normal. And if you have never squirted, have no desire to squirt, and/or are “just not built that way” – YOU ARE NORMAL.
Whether you squirt or not, whether you enjoy squirting or not, whether your experience with squirting has led to great joy or deep humiliation or any combination of emotions in between… You are normal. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with you.
If you have gotten this far, and wish to learn more about squirting/female ejaculation, please keep “normal” in mind and proceed.
WARNING/DISCLAIMER: This post has been written with positive intentions, for the purpose of clarification and education, and is no way The Last Word on the topic of squirting. I am not an ejaculation expert, reproductive therapist, medical doctor, relationship counselor, flying trapeze artist, or tantric sex guru. I do, however, know how to read, how to parse information, how to think for myself, how to be appropriately skeptical of anyone claiming to be ‘The’ authority on any given topic, and how to bake killer chocolate cake.
If you’re good with those qualifications, please read on.
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Squirting vs Ejaculation
As mentioned above, the terms ‘squirting’ and ‘female ejaculation’ are often used to refer to the same thing. However, research has shown that while the two phenomena may occur concurrently, there is a difference.
Female Ejaculation (FE) is milky or ‘blurred’ in appearance, viscous, and occurs in varying consistencies from watery-thin to creamy-thick. FE originates in the Skene’s glands (periurethral glands, located on the anterior wall of the vagina and similar to prostate glands in men) and is expelled through the urethral opening. An identifiable prostate-specific antigen, or PSA, is present in FE.
This is important when analyzing the chemical construct,
The fluid excreted when women squirt sometimes includes FE and sometimes does not.
The results vary.
Analyzation of collected fluid, after expelled, has shown all three of the following:
- “Pure” FE: Female ejaculate only**
- “Pure” urine: liquid, not containing FE, with a chemical composition identical to that of urine
- a urine-like substance, containing traces of FE but lacking the creatinine and urea required to be classified as urine
**It is important to note that there are always bare/trace amounts of urine present in pure FE, just as there are always bare/trace amounts of urine present in semen, because it emits from the urethra.
The discharge(s) women experience during arousal *can* be any one of three things, and women who squirt may expel liquid(s) of differentiated chemical composition at different times.
And this is where it gets complicated…
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So, is squirting actually urine?
The idea of urinating during sexual activity is often seen as taboo and, as a result, tends to be either (a) highly fetishized or (b) scrupulously avoided.
Urolagnia is typically narrowly defined (which is problematic in and of itself), in layman’s terms, as “one person peeing on another,” and is, particularly in Western cultures, often seen as ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ or otherwise undesirable/unsanitary/unappealing/insert-un-word-here. So much so that the mere suggestion that squirting (something seen by many as desirable and pleasurable) might be related to urinating (something seen as not-so-desirable) leads people to vehement denial. “It’s not pee!” and “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” and “Off with their heads!” are typical reactions among those who experience squirting, because GOD FORBID should we all just calm.the.fuck.DOWN for a minute and appreciate the awesomely vast capacity of the human body.
Is it pee?
Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. As iterated above, the chemical composition varies.
And if it is pee: Who cares?!
If it’s pleasurable, KEEP CALM AND SQUIRT ON.
(That should be a meme with one of those little crown things and a waterfall in the background.)
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But it can’t be pee, because…
Because it smells different?
Everything smells different when you’re aroused. Pheremones are strange and wondrous things.
Because it’s not yellow?
Here’s a free PSA for you: Your urine shouldn’t be yellow. Like, ever.
Unless you’re taking vitamins (B’s are notorious for this) or using prescription medications or have a kidney disease, your pee should be damn close to clear. If you are consistently urinating yellow and none of those things apply, your body is either (1) filtering high amounts of toxins, (2) dehydrated, or (3) both. Yellow urine is much like a yellow light, the idea being: Caution! So if you are consistently peeing yellow, I urge you to stop what you’re doing – especially if ‘what you’re doing’ is consuming excess caffeine and/or using other drugs – and drink water. Lots of it.
Because you’re turned on by it?
This is a problem… Why? If you’ve found pleasure in your own body, MORE POWER TO YOU. If – if – the chemical composition of your squirt happens to match the chemical composition of urine (again: some does, some doesn’t), why is that a bad thing? Open your mind, relax your body, and enjoy yourself!
Ahhh… But the enjoyment factor is questionable, isn’t it?
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Is squirting enjoyable?
Women who have experienced squirting have likewise experienced squirting in very different ways from one another, not only in the type of fluid being expelled from their bodies but also in their responses to having squirted in the first place.
In recent years, partly due to the influence of pornographic films that fetishize it, squirting has come to be seen by many as a sexual pinnacle to be reached. It is sometimes viewed as the Be All, End All of female sexuality.
To which I say:
Squirting is just squirting.
Do some women enjoy squirting? Yes.
Others do not.
Does squirting occur during orgasm? For some women, yes.
Other women squirt, but not as part of their climax. (And odds are, if you are the one causing said un-climaxed woman to squirt but stop pleasuring her because you assume that squirting = cumming… Let’s just say she’s not going to think very highly of you for leaving her high and not-so-dry.)
Do some women, who currently do not squirt, wish to? Yes.
Others do not.
Does squirting increase a woman’s pleasure? Sometimes yes.
Other times, NO.
The bottom line is: There is no one answer to any of these questions.
Do not make assumptions. Communicate with your partner. Explore your own body. Be willing to accept your (and/or your partner’s) desires and limitations. Work toward what you want. And whatever you want – regardless of whether or not ‘what you want’ involves squirting – is perfectly okay. YOU are okay. Your body is okay, no matter what it does or does not do.
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What about a woman’s partner? What about their point of view?
There is obviously no one-size-fits-all answer to that question. If you want to know, ask.
If you are partnered with a woman, and the idea of making her squirt turns you on: Talk to her about it.
Likewise, if you are partnered with a woman who squirts and you are unsure about how to make her do it – or are uncomfortable with the idea – talk to her about it.
Like most things related to sex and relationships, communication is the answer. It may be awkward or difficult or embarrassing, but you have to talk about it.
My advice (and this is a rarity; I am not fond of advice):
- Approach the topic neutrally.
- Discuss squirting as either (1) something you’d like to learn about, or (2) something you have personal knowledge of / experience with. (Only go with option #2 if you can do so without negativity or boasting.)
- Maintain curiosity and open-mindedness.
- Consider sharing an article about squirting that you can discuss – either in person or in writing – at a later date. It can be helpful to have a mutual jumping-off point.
- Remember that everyone’s feelings are valid, and that feelings often develop from a combination of conditioning and experience. Expect that your partner may feel differently than you do about the idea of squirting, and be prepared to listen to their feelings with understanding and acceptance.
- BE HONEST about what you think, how you feel, and in what manner you wish to proceed.
- Avoid the temptation to use squirting as a gauge for sexual prowess or accomplishment.
And, perhaps above all: Love your body, no matter what it does or does not do.
You are normal.
Your body is 100% OKAY.
And you are perfect just the way you are.
This article in the Journal of Sexual Medicine relies on information gathered in a (very small) 2014 French study, and further identifies the chemical compositions of the fluid emitted from participants in the study. The study is often cited in online articles, such as this one that attempts to explain – in layman’s terms – how the female orgasm works, and whether said orgasm is ‘normal’ if squirting is involved.
And while I would caution anyone who’s interested in learning how to squirt that there is no One Way to make it happen, this article may help you start on your aqueous odyssey. (Or at the very least, it will make you laugh ~ because, “It’s wonderful to feel good about bringing your lady pleasure, but it shouldn’t be conditional on whether or not her urethra looks like a dolphin surfacing for air.”) So on second thought… Maybe give this one a go instead. 😉