(This is not an abnormal conversation starter in my household.)
“Uhmmm…?” he replied.
I raised my brow at this non-response.
“Is this for your blog?” he asks.
(Astute, he is.)
“Yes.”
“…oh.”
:: pause ::
“I won’t burn you,” I promise.
“Okay then.”
That was last weekend.
So today we went shopping. Which might have been a slightly irrational proposition given that I hate people-ing, especially after Thanksgiving, but it was surprisingly un-horrible. Besides, most folks who frequent my favorite sex shop can’t be arsed about holiday shopping quite yet. I mean, I know *I* can’t. They don’t even have their real sales until mid-December.
Which means it was with considerable maneuvering room and relative ease that we found these massage oil candles:
I bought two – one scented in ‘Zenitude’ (no clue what that means, exactly, but think ‘fresh’) and another in au chocolat.
I read the instructions (I do that occasionally ~ ssshhhh, don’t tell anyone), which recommended burning the wick for 20 minutes before proceeding.
I’m actually quite good at math, and I can count to twenty (as well as read a clock)…
BUT
…there was a whole “Come look at these Christmas lights and give me your opinion” thing that happened in between the lighting of the candle and its intended use that took up a good half hour. Because, Smotch.
The good news: the wax didn’t get over-hot during the excess futzing-about time.
The not-so-good news: the mood didn’t get over-hot during the excess futzing-about time.
Ahem.
Anywhoo…
On with the show!
Me: Take your shirt off.
Him: (takes shirt off)
Me: Lay down on the floor.
Him: (lays down on the floor)
Me: Not like that.
Him: (blinks, looks askance)
Me: On your belly.
Him: Oh. (adjusts)
{Yes, we really are that clinical monosyllabic sexy.}
(Mrawr. And stuff.)
Straddling his hips amidst oofs and groans, I arranged his limbs in a more photographically-conducive manner and tried valiantly not to lose my balance and knee him in the ribs while doing so.
Finally adjusted properly, I blew out the flame and tested the wax temperature (warm, not hot ~ so far, so good) before asking if he was ready.
{I don’t rightly remember what he said. I think he grunted? Somehow, consent was given while I was busy trying to figure out how to operate my camera phone and pour wax at the same time. Which was a bit tricky. Because, new phone. Because, old phone ‘sploded.}
Ready…
Set…
And Def Leppard sings: Pour some Shunga on may!
And then kitty joined in.
Because, of course.
I sort of expected the wax to turn back into, y’know… Wax. But it didn’t. It just sort of ran in rivulets all over his back. It looked rather like the candle splooged on him. This probably would not have been the case if the wax was colored(?), but alas, the Jackson Pollock multi-rainbow sex wax collection has yet to become available. (Or even be invented, for all I know.)
I stopped taking photos long enough to rub the wax-not-wax/actually-massage-oil into his skin, during which time he asked, “So, is this turning you on?”
“Um, no.”
“Bummer,” he muttered.
Oh, snap, I thought, as I tried – and failed – to work the wax/oil into his skin. Does he like it? (I mean, it’s not like I’m opposed to it. It’s just… Well… Meh. But if he’s about to wax rhapsodic about this little wax experiment, I don’t want him to think I’m not game. Hmmm… How to proceed…?) Best just be direct, I thought. (It’s the only way I know how to communicate, anyway.)
“Why, do you like it?” I asked.
“I just like that I’m getting a massage out of it.”
Ahhh… Okay.
He’s quiet for a minute while I try to rid his skin of the excess, then: “Are you done yet?”
(As I said: Yes, we really are that sexy. Mrawr.) 😛
“No, be still. I have to take more photos.”
“Of what?”
THIS.
Take a good look.
And tell me…
As the night wind asked the little lamb:
Do you see what I see?
.
To see who else is waxing on, click the lips above.
For sexy photos, click the lips below.
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NOTE{S}: This is not a sponsored post. The product mentioned – as are all personal products mentioned on this blog – is one I purchased of my own volition and used for my own enjoyment.
I don’t do product-as-compensation reviews on this blog. It’s just not my thing. I have great respect for the writers who do so ethically though, and if you are a blogger or reader who is wondering just exactly what that means (ethical review? wot?), please go read this piece about disclosure from the talented Kayla Lords, who – along with writing her own blog, running her weekly Masturbation Monday meme, and partnering with her husband John Brownstone on a BDSM podcast and website – has started a resource site for sex writers.
And if you want to see what an entertaining ethical review looks like, please check out scandarella.com, whose author, Ella Scandal, recently managed to re-awaken my dragon sex fantasy with this review of a sex toy that (1) I never previously knew existed, and (2) is now on my Most Wanted list. She also writes amazing erotica, y’all. And always with a twist.
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This link love has been brought to you by the letter T.
For Thanksgiving.
Whose inspiration are you thankful for this weekend?
Cute butt Mrs. Fever!
..?
I assume you’re referring to the cat’s tail end, as his is the only one showing in this post.
I must admit I laughed at your title, smiled at the dialogue, and I like the photo including the fire and the cat and the wax a lot. It took me a little while to see the cleverly captured image in the third photo, but I love it. x
Kitty is definitely the star of the show. 😉
Certainly can’t accuse yr OH of waxing lyrical! But you folk made me smile – the joys of monosyllabic conversation – I remember it well. And yes I can see what you see but I’m not going to spoil it for the others…
🙂
Indie
He’s a good sport. 🙂
Ahhh maybe you need to give a proper candle a go. Massage candles basically turn to warm oil which is nice but I prefer something that is a little bit hotter and dries tight to my skin so he can then cut off with a knife…. Just an idea if you fancy exploring more.
Mollyx
Molly recently posted…Darling sin
Thanks. If I had (or have, in the future) a partner who’s into it, I would definitely give that a go. 🙂
Cut off with a knife??? Not where I’m thinking of dribbling.
Elliott Henry recently posted…C & B T
I’ve not heard of the massage oil candles, sounds interesting. I’ve been dying to try wax, as I’ve been reading friends posts about it. Of course I’m not thinking of putting it on my back as you can imagine, so have been a little hesitant about getting burned. Did he get his massage, I sure hope so, I would’ve wanted one, again not on my back. I enjoyed reading about your shopping trip, I’ll have to Google Shunga.
Elliott Henry recently posted…C & B T
My comments are not posting, Mrs. Fever. In Spam I wonder?
Elliott Henry recently posted…C & B T
For some reason my Elliott aol email is not working on some, not all, WordPress blogs for comments, it does for likes. Odd. I didn’t know if it was going into spam for some reason. Very aggravating, as I like to comment.
Elliott Henry recently posted…C & B T
p.s. I just bought one, I’ll let you know how it goes.
Elliott Henry recently posted…C & B T
Bought one…?
A massage candle, do you mean?
I’ll probably use the second one on his cock eventually. If that’s what you have in mind for yours, I’m betting it would feel pretty fabulous after a CBT session. (Messy though – fair warning. You might want to put a towel down. 😉 )
Nope, not spammed. Just in my ‘moderation’ cue. Sometimes that happens when you’ve changed something related to your WP login credentials (like your email addy or gravatar photo or whatnot).
Thank you! Yes, a massage candle.
Elliott Henry recently posted…C & B T
I love that i now know i am not the only person who gets overly distracted pre scene.
I have had the same result with sec shop candles in the past and switched to soy candles (lower melting temp than other types of wax) that come in tons of colors.
Malflic recently posted…Beat Red
I was hoping I’d find some low-melt-temp *actual* candles, ones made for body use. But no luck. So that’s really good to know, re: soy. Thank you!
Loved reading about your delve into wax play – but my computer is not great and try as i may i cant see the last photo ;-(
May More recently posted…Freedom of Expression on Sinful Sunday & #SoSS
It’s just my reflection in the top of the fireplace. 🙂
I love the idea of massage oil candles. But a wonderful, honest post with some fantastic photos and a cat. So all in all pretty much perfect. I can’t see what the last shot shows though….
The cat definitely makes the post! 😉
The “do you see?” seems to be giving people trouble. It’s my tattoo. 🙂 I think it’s easier for me to see the reflection in the last photo because I know what I’m looking for.
Damned if I’m not thankful for your blog, Feve– I always get ideas. 😀
Oh dear, there he goes again. Getting ideas… 😉
Not sure what’s my favorite part…the yummy wax play (that I *still* haven’t tried yet!) or the very real look at how negotiating these kinds of things happen, lol. You sound like us, lol!
And thank you for the lovely mention!
You’re most welcome. 🙂
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I love how kink of the week encourages us to try new things!
Also, massage wax and candle wax is very different. Candles are hotter and as they drip and set, tightens on the skin. Both wonderful though.
Bee recently posted…When angels die
I think the ‘setting’ of the wax would be an interesting sensation. Perhaps I will try candle wax in the future. 🙂
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