So today is Monkey’s birthday. (Those of you who don’t know Monkey, should. He likes boobs and thinks I give good head. 😀 ) Monkey claims that if you add together the numbers of his age, you will get 7.
Which means now I am faced with a conundrum: What does one give a 70 year old Birthday Monkey?
He tends to wax (heh) rhapsodic about pretty pussy, and he’s into Japanimation. So I thought he might like one of these:
But then I remembered that he already has a chastity cat, so I decided perhaps something a little more traditional might be in order.
Like, a gimp:
Gimps make great gifts. Or so I’m told. I’ve never asked my gimp to make a great gift for me. Hmmm. Perhaps I should add that to the gimp chore list. Go forth, gimp! Make me great gifts! Heh.
Errr…
I digress.
Anyway, I would *like* to give Monkey a gimp, because I know he really wants one. But gimps don’t generally come with a very good return policy, so he should probably pick out his own. Wouldn’t want him to be stuck with a gicky gimp.
Back to square one.
Hmmm…
Monkey likes women. He particularly likes happy, wet women. Perhaps something like this would be to his taste:
I wonder if there’s room for Mrs Monkey to wrap around the other side…? Something to consider. Would make for an interesting threesome I suppose.
Heh. Speaking of threesomes…
Oh, deer.
*snort*
You know who else likes threesomes? Dave. Perhaps a Dave quote would be appropriate to interject at this juncture. Let me see if I can find one…
How about this one?
Life ain’t nothing but chickens and money…and cheese. And pizza. And macro formulas. And conditioner.
~ Dave
Conditioner can be a fine substitute for lube in the shower, by the way. But only for anal sex.
Um, I digress.
Again.
Back to the Birthday Monkey.
What to do? What to do?
I know! I know! I know!
BEASTIE BOYS. (Brass Monkey, yo.) AND PONIES. (Monkey is a brony, yo.)
Slam dance to this, Monkey:
😀 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 😀
(Anyone else who has gifts for Monkey, please feel free to leave them in the comments section. 😉 )
Legalese: All photos hijacked from the interwebs.
How did you know that is my favorite Beastie Boys song and with PONIES! SQUEALLLLL! 😀 I do not have a Chastity Cat with a melon on it’s head. I wonder if Chastity Cat accessories is an untapped market. While I appreciate the monkey swim I don’t know if I am strong enough of swimmer to keep all of us from going belly up. This is the best blog birthday gift EVER!. Thank you so much. 😀
Melons: Not just a euphemism for boobs anymore. 😀 But still goes great with pussy! 😉
Happy birthday, you. 🙂
Thank you very much. This has been a good birthday and you made it even better. 😀
You’re welcome Monkey. 😀 I’m glad you liked it!
Wow. That was entertaining a few moments before the Halloween festivities get started.
Tricks and treats. And whatnot. 😉
Happy birthday, Nate! Of course, I had to come out of my shell and get you something.
Nothing as fine as Feve’s birthday wishes for you, but I figured something perfect for you – a new recipe!
To a better year than the last one, and always – boooooooooobs! 😉
Thank you very much. Some how I knee before clicking the link what I was getting myself into and still I did it and then ick. 🙂
Very well done Mrs Fever 😀
Another round of birthday kisses Nate xoxo
Heh. 😉
Thank you I do enjoy kisses.
Pingback: Birthday Wrap-Up | Speaking Out on Class
Happy B-day Nate! On my next one I’ll add up to 7 also. Mrs Fever does bring up {heh} interesting things doesn’t she. Definitely inspiring to rise to the occasion. Haven’t been around much lately {not true, I am entirely too round}.
I am round too. (Not to be confused with Round Two.)
Thank you for the happy bday. Sorry for the late apology. She does bring up some interesting topics and is always asking some thought provoking questions.
Pingback: Wanna get in my box? | Temperature's Rising