(with apologies to John Wayne fans)
I went browsing through my recent search terms this afternoon to amuse myself.
Because it’s been that kind of day.
So I thought I’d share my findings.
Because it’s also been that kind of day.
Misspellings, lack of capitalization, and stretches of the imagination are entirely the fault of the searchers.
Being routed to my blog as a result of said misspellings, lack of capitalization, and stretches of the imagination, is entirely the fault of Google.
THE SHORT LIST:
- my wife loves here rubbercocks: Uhm. ‘Kay. But nothing beats the Real Thing.
- teasing jakob dylan: Do tell! (His people are going to be SO EXCITED!)
- what do you do if someone sends me a nude: Ehhh… Clap?
- funny nude sex: Um, it’s all pretty funny when you actually stop to think about it.
- hot story pilot clit: …? I haven’t written about my adventures with the pilot. Yet.
- knee with assfucking photos: Your kink is not my kink.
- temperture rising in shaved pussy openings: Again, YKINMK. Ask a nurse?
- is giraffe vagina at a different temp?: Errr… YKINMK. Ask a zoologist?
- fever temperature of pussy: YKINMK!!! Yeesh! What is UP with this?
- sit on mommy’s face: NO. You got that backwards. See below.
Ask nicely…
Oh yes. It’s *definitely* been that^ kind of day.
Sigh…
After as Pink would say a “Shit day”, having had a uno numo prima one, also, then your musing resonates dear Fever.
The picture fascinates as conjures up an extremely delectably enticing way to distress after today.
Have a delightful weekend in the vagaries of life with I believe Mercury still retrograde creating communication glitches in all spheres of life…
Hmmm… Do they still use mercury in thermometers? Maybe *that* explains some of those search terms… o_O
I hope tomorrow is a better day. 🙂
Giraffe vagina? Is there a market out there for giraffe porn, I wonder? 😀
The thing is, I can easily figure out where that search term led. It just makes no contextual sense. (Go to my home page and search for “giraffe” if you want 10 minutes of entertainment this weekend. 😉 ) But as for your ‘Is there a market…’ question: There is an ass for every seat. If you can imagine it, there’s probably porn for it. o_O.
that is one of my favorite images. There has to be some nonsensical way search results are compiled because those terms are too weird.
Well, the terms themselves are the actual words, in sequence, that were typed into a search engine. Like I said above, I can figure out very easily how those various combinations of words led to my blog. It’s just a matter of various tags I’ve used, combined with the title of my blog (all the ‘temperature’ references), but there’s no contextual/conceptual sense to it. o_O
Apparently you can install Google Analytics if you want a microscopic view of some of the routes people take to get to your blog. I don’t use a Google account for my blog email, and it’s required if you want to set up G-stats. But I’ve seen data other bloggers have shared from their Google stats, and it’s mind boggling what some people search for. Gah!
Looking at that stuff is like watching yourself give birth – NO!! THANK!! YOU!!! I know what to stay away from, most of the time.
Egads, woman! Now I’m going to get a search term like “John Wayne watches woman give birth” or something equally horrific. 😛
NO THANK YOU!
Google can be fun sometimes, “How many people named Freddy Kruger live on Elm Street?” And you can get the equally amusing contextual conflicts. The people searching for spaghetti sauce recipes might find a lot of pregnant porn, I speak from experience. And one of my coworkers was searching for building plans for a raised wooden platform, but Google thought he wanted to play cards with “Deck Designs”. I have discovered interesting sexual terms from link sites that sort by category. I would mention them but then you’d get some really weird visitors. The weird ones need to visit me instead.
I mostly get variations on a single theme. For some reason, the post I wrote about my sybian experience gets 100+ hits per week. Apparently it’s a fetish. I never knew.
It would seem that thermometers are also a fetish, based on the search terms that popped up this quarter.
I get a lot of people looking for “jane jetson nude” and “naked jane jetson sex”, which amuses me, because I have a lot of nekkid Hanna-Barbara characters on this blog, but it’s Jane who gets all the attention. I think Velma is more interesting. But brains turn me on. Besides, I just *know* that girl is kinky. Jinkies!
On an episode of “Red Dwarf ” they talked about who was hotter Wilma or Betty. Cat and Lister like Wilma but they’d do Betty. Given the last line of the theme song there could be lots of “Variations”. On the Red Green show they were talking about Mary Ann and Ginger when one of them speculated about Mrs Howell. It takes all kinds.