Defining SEXY: The Male Body Beautiful

What is the sexiest part of a man’s body?

This, to me, is like the Best Sex question.  He knows that these kinds of inquiries make me insane, but he asks anyway.

Sexiest?  In what way?  And you’re going to have to define ‘sexy’ first, please.  Because my first answer, in terms of what attracts me to a person, is always going to be “his mind” even when it’s clear that the man asking me this question (read: my spouse) has obviously *lost* his mind, because he knows questions like this make me fist-clenchingly crazy.

Me being…well…ME, I ask for clarification.

Which he provides with alacrity.  (Alacrity, and a stunning disregard for the fact – a fact he knows full well – that I can barely muster a ‘meh’ interest in a man based on physical characteristics alone, nevermind actually find said Physical Man to be ‘sexy’.)

“You know what I mean, hon,” he expounds oh-so-unhelpfully.  “Physical traits.  When you look at a guy, what part of him are you looking at?  What is sexy to you?  What turns you on?”

Sometimes I think he (and every other man I’ve ever been in a relationship with) has convinced himself (with the assistance of mass media and geared-to-men magazine advertisements and the contrivances of commercialism) that {a} there *must* be ONE answer to this question, and {b} that *I* must have THE answer.

Oh, and that {c} obviously the answer is PENIS.  Amiright?!  Because, What else could a woman possibly be interested in?

What else, indeed?

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What is ‘Sexy’?

‘Sexy’ – more often than not – is, to me…

(and here’s where we emphasize the To Me portion of today’s program; these are strictly my thoughts and opinions – yours may differ and THAT’S OKAY)

…about what’s left to the imagination.

 

‘Sexy’ need not be explicit.  It does not even need to be unclothed.

I’ve had multiple conversations with otherwise-broadminded men who make astoundingly narrow-perception comments about their own bodies, and what is sexy about them.  When encouraged to participate in Sinful Sunday, for example, one male blogger came back with “But I don’t want to post pics of my dick.”

Uhm.

Kaaayyyy…

So you think that for a photo to be ‘sexy’ it is required to be a cock selfie?

[insert expression of utter bafflement here, followed by screaming Nooooooo! face]

Look, gentlemen:  I have approximately ZERO interest in seeing pictures of your dick.  Even if that part of your anatomy is something I control – and perhaps especially then – I do not need to see snapshots of it.

If you’re enamored with your penis, and you enjoy taking photos of it, I get it.  I really do.  And more power to you.

But those dangly bits are far from the only thing that come to my mind when considering the question of What is sexy? on a man.  It is often the *last* thing that comes to mind, in fact.

So let’s take a moment to think outside the cock-box and discuss what ‘sexy’ means, shall we?

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‘Sexy’ is about what you DON’T show, just as much as what you DO.

The photo above says it all:  Unbottoned fly, a bit of skin, open shirt… UNF.

It hints at much, while revealing very little. It’s…

Suggestive.

If one of my partners sent me a photo like this, I’d be *beyond* stoked.  Because it’s a tease.  It’s a photographic invitation.  To watch, to wonder.  To imagine.

Is he bare under there?  Will his hands be wrapped around his cock soon?

{His hands…  Dear God, have I ever told y’all about my fascination with men’s hands?  LOVE.  THEM.  Like:  Next to forearms, hands are my probably my favorite piece of anatomical artistry ever.  EVAR.}

Ahem.

Anywhoo…

Looking at this photo, I wonder:

What is he thinking about?  If such a photo came from a lover I would want to know:  Will he tell me what was going on in his mind at that moment?  How? When?

How warm is his skin?  Is he fresh from the shower, or on his way to taking one?  (And if it’s the latter, how dirty is he?)

This photo does not show the model’s cock; a sexy photo of a man does NOT have to include his cock to to make me think about it.

And I don’t have to think about his cock AT ALL to consider his photo ‘sexy’.  (See: HANDS, above.)

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But, you are wondering, what about the nakedness, Feve?

Ah, yes.

There is that…

*grin*

Below are some examples that encompass what ‘sexy’ means to me.  They are decidedly more…revelatory…than anything I would normally post on this blog, but I am making an exception to my typical rules for the purposes of this post because I am making a point.

That said, please be aware that all photos beyond this point are decidedly NSFW.  If you’re not in a location where you can safely view nude images, or otherwise do not wish to see fleshy photos, now would be the time to click away.

As for the rest of you:

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LOOK AT THIS.

Is this not a gorgeous photo?

I love the play of light over the curves of his buttocks and thighs, the dips and shadows created by the contours of his body.  I like the combination of toned muscle firmness and gently rounded softness.  The fact that he has stretch marks on his skin makes him all the more human – relate-able, tempting, touchable – and the crease in his lower back (I have always enjoyed exploring my lovers’ backs) is the perfect landing spot for an exploratory kiss.

It is, in a word, stunning.

And if you want to see what’s underneath…

Well, if you click the link and view the photo essay from whence this image came, you may just get what you want.  😉

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AND SPEAKING OF UNDERNEATH…

This photo speaks to me of warm mornings spent under the covers, of sunlight streaming across sleep-warmed skin, of “let’s snuggle” and “breakfast can wait” and “Come back to bed.”

The first thing I see when I look at this picture is V of his arm posed in front of his chest.  It’s clear that there is space between his arm and his body, and those are always the snuggliest places to wiggle into.  I like the way his muscles are in that half-relaxed, not-quite-ready-to-get-up way we all experience, and I like the way the curve of his elbow acts like an arrow, leading the eye lower.

Can I see what’s underneath the sheets?

Yes, but just the barest of glimpses.

And I’d like this photo all the same if that glimpse was gone.

It’s simple and sexy and full of warm invitation, and those are all things that push my buttons.

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SO WHAT, EXACTLY, PUSHES MY BUTTONS?

I am, first and foremost, interested in a man’s mind.  What makes him tick?  How does he think?  What is he passionate about?  How articulate is he?  Does he communicate his thoughts and feelings?  Is he willing to explore things beyond the surface?

For me, intellectual connection is key.  I have zero interest in a man physically if he cannot connect with me in some way.  Once that connection is established…

I am turned on by the depth of his compassion, the breadth of his humor, the genuineness of his humility, the fierceness of his spirit, the fragility of his humanity, the rawness of his honesty, the wholeness of his being.

After that:  The sky is the limit.

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Ah, you are thinking.  But we are not talking about THE SKY, Feve.

Yes, I know.

We are talking about physical traits, yes?  So let’s talk!

I find it fascinating that some people have go-to physical characteristics that turn them on no matter who, no matter what.  Regardless of my propensity for examining men’s hands (hands tell stories; they say SO MUCH without a word being spoken – someday I will write more on this topic), I’m not really a One Size Fits All kind of person when it comes to what attracts me.

Sometimes it is the creases that outline his smile, or the crinkles at the corners of his eyes.  Other times it is an unconscious gesture or self-conscious expression, a relaxed pose or bursting-to-tell-me-something tension.  It can be the V of his back, the nape of his neck, the crook of his shoulder, the spark in his eye, or the countour of his jaw.

My ex had fantastic calves and lovable love handles.  With my spouse, it’s the light behind his seven hundred kinds of smiles that draws me in. It’s the way his glasses sit constantly crooked and smudged on the bridge of his nose and the spattering of freckles that peek out at me from the most unexpected of places.

A long-ago lover had kissable cheeks. Another had a dip below his adam’s apple that pulled me in every time.

My current paramour has sensuous lips, a former partner had a red-soft beard, that guy I met in Vegas had a killer wink, and my one-time threesome partner had a beautiful full round belly.

It is always a different thing for each person, but there is always *some* thing about my lover(s) will absolutely make me melt.  And whatever that something is…

THAT is sexy.

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His penis?

Meh.

:: shrug ::

Oh, don’t get me wrong:  I like that particular anatomical anomaly.   And if I’m interested in you – if I’m interested in other parts of you – I’ll get to that.

Eventually.

Or watch you get to it.  With pleasure.

But I think that the supposed importance of the penis is, overall, over-emphasized (over-inflated?), and for me…

Well, let’s just say it’s not my sole focus.

Not even remotely.

I’m more of a full-package (double entendre unintentional) kind of woman.

[HINT:  Many of us are.]

So next time you’re contemplating what ‘sexy’ means…

I encourage you to zoom out, refocus your lens, and take in the view from a not-so-cock-y angle.  🙂

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Do you have a favorite physical trait in yourself or in your partners?

What does ‘sexy’ mean to you?

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NOTE:  Special thanks to the photographers and models who agreed to participate in this post.  All images used with permission.  Original creators retain all rights.