Our Relationship

{The Life and Times of Mr and Mrs Fever}

When I first had the idea for my Celebrations! holiday blogging project, I asked a few people for some feedback. Most of the responses I got were kind of what I expected, but there were a few that totally threw me. Not in a “nope, that’s not my schtick” way, but rather more along the lines of “…hnh. I never realized anyone would want to know that.”

There were quite a few people who expressed an interest in how my relationship with my husband began. One person, who likes the snippets-of-our-lives way I write asked for something like that but from When We Were New. And “What does your day-to-day look like?” – or some variation on that theme – was put forward by several people.

I… Well, honestly… I kinda didn’t know what to do with all that. *laugh* Like, I feel like I write about our relationship a lot – and have done so from the beginnings of this blog – and if What We Have Together doesn’t come through in the little interactions between us that I publish here… Well, I’m not sure I’d be much good at explaining.

And the other stuff…

Yeah, I don’t know that I’d be much good at explaining any of that either.

So I passed those questions on to my husband and said, “Hey, it seems like people are curious about __________ and suchlike. Do you want to write about it?”

And he said, “Sure.”

So what follows (my husband’s words will be in blue, for clarity re: who is speaking ~ my commentary will be bracketed in black) is straight from his viewpoint.

It seems fit to begin this story with a bit of history: How was it that we met?

The insight as to how we manage our relationship will best be understood if certain facts are highlighted. First, I am 16 years older than Fever. It was not an intentional maneuver on my part to choose a younger woman as a life partner. I have always considered a generation gap would not keep me from experiencing life with someone I enjoy, this proven by the fact that my girlfriend while I was 22 happened to be 52 — we dated for five years. Lots of history there for sure…

But, continuing: I was 42 and Feve was 26 when we met. I have spent most of my life driving for a living in the Public Transit capacity. [This is kind of a famous story among his former co-workers and usually we try to avoid overly-identifying information about ourselves (photos notwithstanding — pictures are really not so I.D.’ing as people assume), so I’m actually really surprised he wants me to publish this much detail about our story.] One particular evening I was on break at a transit center, my door was closed; it was raining, dark, and cold (it was a late afternoon in early February), and – as I had a habit of taking my guitar to work with the motivation to practice and write songs at every opportunity – I was playing my guitar.

So, there I was, sitting in the handicap seat with my back to the outside the door, strumming away. I am right-handed so, to anyone outside in the dark they’d have had a dim view of what I could possibly be doing. My right shoulder bopping up and down to the sound of the beat on my guitar — the guitar itself invisible to anyone else. As I strummed and hummed a sense of being watched come over me, I turned and for the first time my eyes looked upon a person that would be the most important person I have ever met in my life. Guess who?! Well, I could not let her stand alone in the blustery rain so I set the guitar down, opened the door and said, “ You can sit on the bus till it’s time to leave.”

The rest is history.

[A condensed version of this meet-cute, as well as other information relevant to How We Roll, can be found here.]

We became platonic friends for months. [It wasn’t months, it was weeks. From the time we met until the time we first had sex was a span of about eight weeks.]

She revealed to me later that the night we met, while waiting outside the bus, she thought for sure I was beating off…Ha! [Well, I could only see his head an shoulders through the bus window. What can I say? Rapid guitar strumming has a certain masturbatory visual effect when viewed from behind. *laugh*]

We talked about her boyfriends (she called them the boys) and deeply bonded with discussions about the more serious relationships we had recently endured. (I was divorced two years prior and still healing, while she had just recently left a high school sweetheart who she almost married.)

We built our relationship on friendship right from the very beginning — a friendship which continues to this day. [I feel like a lot of people say things like “My spouse is my best friend,” but at the same time they don’t demonstrate that; it’s just somehow ‘the right thing to say’. And I feel like… that dishonesty(?) from others… like it somehow cheapens the sentiment. But for us, it’s not just a sentiment or a spout-the-right-phrase saying. My husband and I truly are friends. First, foremost, and always.] Our friendship is highly regarded by both of us as the solid foundation our relationship is built on, and that friendship – honoring one another as friends – is at the heart of every decision we make.

So, as time went by, we knew we were interested in taking this further, but it would mean taking a big leap for both of us — a leap back into a relationship with meaning, other than just fucking around.

Ok, yes, this is a sex blog […or so I’m told…] so… I guess it’s time to introduce the moment….

I got a call from her [What he means is that I’d called and he didn’t answer; I left him a message.] and she told me she would see me later that for the moment she would be taking a long bath. I took this as an invitation even though she says it was not her intention. [It was not an invitation.] I helped myself into her Condo [Taken out of context, this might sound creepy. It wasn’t. We were fast friends, and I allowed him to let himself in and out as he pleased.] and made her aware I was there. She was not expecting me. [Again, me telling him I was about to take a bath was not an invitation for him to come over and watch me get wet. 😛 ]

I walked to the bathroom door which was open and there she was, covered in bubbles. I remember her perky breasts poked out from the fizz.

There was no alarm on her part at seeing me there, just warmth between us.

I kicked off my shoes, stripped off my shirt, ripped off my pants, and peeled of my undershorts to reveal a perfectly straight erected penis, obviously pointed right in her direction. I stepped into the bath in between her thighs and sat myself down opposite her, simultaneously wrapping my legs between hers and melding together. And there we sat, my erection prominently introducing himself as we relaxed and simply began to chat and enjoy the company.

We transitioned to the bedroom and spooned and cuddled, but we both knew the timing was not perfect. [Timing had a lot to do with things when we first got together — everything from “where we each were in that stage of our lives” kind of timing to “this moment, right now” right-ness.] I laid next to this beautiful woman with my penis hard and ready but…

The moment was so life changing, so natural, so unhurried… We slept together for the first time. [Like, sleeping slept.]

Of course, it was not long before we prepared our lives to begin our sexual life together. The boys served their purpose but Feve lost interest in them.

We planned for a mini vacation out of town and initiated our lovemaking, discovering – according to her – that my penis was the “perfect puzzle piece.” [He used to say that fitting inside me felt like coming home. ‘Home’ became a pet name of sorts — a term we shared when conversationally referring to my vagina.] Apparently, she was very impressed that night in the tub. [*smirk*]

After that…

We moved in together and perfected our love making, learning every nuance and every nerve ending in each other’s sex.

Oral was long and feverish [There is a reason I have the nom de plume Mrs Fever. *grin*] and I always wanted to make sure she had an orgasm first. We soon learned to cum close to each other’s release. (When you fuck someone as much as we did each other at the time, you get to know these things.) [Again… The cumming together thing? Timing.]

A year later we had a fantastic wedding and settled down together.

This was the beginning.

How We Are Together

Each and every relationship is based on the philosophy of the persons involved. To me, I never wanted to be in a relationship that was suppressing, or oppressing. I want my partner to feel free to search their life the way they see fit and support their decisions. [ And he’s really been wonderful in this way. Not only with things like my decision to quit my job (in 2005) and go back to school – which meant that he alone had to financially support us for a time – but also with things like venturing (physically and emotionally) outside our marital relationship.]

This “feel free to __________” is not always possible since some people tend toward a self-destructive lifestyle. This is essential to mention when describing my relationship with Fever. She is a brilliant productive industrious person [Thank you, darling.] who is not self-destructive at all. My job has been to let her do what she does best- achieve. She is introverted about everything except sex; people who know her know she’s not shy about sex [*laugh*], but that being said: She’s careful. Feve is nobody’s fool.

This post is part of my Holiday Celebrations! writing project. (Click the badge above for more information or to join in.) Thank you to the readers who sent their questions regarding our beginnings (I hope this post helps answer some of them!), and a very special thank you to my husband for taking the time to write this.