When I had my first orgasm, I was twelve years old.
And to be absolutely clear: There was nothing even remotely sexual about it.
I didn’t realize until many years later that an orgasm is what it was, but my first clear memory of having an orgasm stems from an uncomfortably bumpy car ride – with my mother at the wheel, for Chrissakes – during which I completely unintentionally experienced an orgasm.
And it all happened because I was holding my bladder.
As hard as I could.
Through a bumpy, bumper-to-bumper construction zone in the middle of one of the worst stretches of highway in the American Midwest.
Normally, when you think ‘orgasm’ – particularly ‘first orgasm’ – you might be inclined to think ‘lovely’ or ‘delightful experience’.
It was, in fact, a terrible experience.
BUT
In retrospect, it could have been a lot worse.
It was the summer after my mother filed for divorce – I was 12 years old, about to enter the 7th grade – and it was just her in the car with me (no siblings, as it was their visitation weekend with our father; I was old enough to legally exempt myself from those visits and I happily did so). We were on our way to visit her second-husband-to-be, which – because he was driving semi for a company in the next state and only had 36-hr turnarounds – required us to drive a considerable distance.
And the thing is…
I had to pee.
Like, really bad had to pee!
But we hadn’t been on the road very long and we were already stuck in the quicksand traffic mire of bottlenecked, concrete-barriered construction lanes, so I didn’t say anything.
(There are myriad reasons my 12-yr-old self had for not speaking up. Chief among them? Because my mom is not the kind of person you bother with little complaints like “I have to pee” when you’re on a long drive.)
In fact, I stopped speaking all together.
No chit-chat with mi madre.
No singing along to the songs on the radio.
Nothing.
Because all my energy was suddenly, urgently, and quite necessarily centered on squeezing my PC muscles together in order to keep from peeing my pants.
And y’know…
Upfgh.
Have you ever really Really REALLY had to go?
And then that REALLY becomes REALLY REALLY because every dip and swerve and bump and curve in the road is jarring your insides such that you feel you are going to explode any minute?
If so, then you understand the agony I was experiencing.
Except, as a result of the agonizing “hold it” muscle crunches I was enduring, I started to feel a… pulsing? kinda?… down there, and – probably because I was rocking slightly to distract myself from my discomfort (and therefore was inadvertently rubbing myself against the seam of my shorts) – also a little bit of a tickle sensation in the button-nub between my legs. (I now refer to this piece of anatomy as my clit; at the time, I had no idea what it was called and didn’t care — I only knew I was in horror of peeing my pants!)
Which…
Let’s just say that all the bump/dip/swerve/brake/bump business caused those sensations to build until I couldn’t control them.
So, clenching with all my might, I repeated a mental chant — please don’t let me pee my pants, please don’t let me pee my pants — as, despite my desperate clenching, certain inner muscles relaxed of their own accord and left me awash in a dizzying wave of sensation.
I remember feeling my uterus contract.
Or, to clarify: I understand, in retrospect, that the contractions I was feeling were centered in my uterus.
But I was terrified that what was happening was that my bladder was spasming.
It was…
Well, it was pretty awful, really.
*laugh*
Especially when I felt a bit of wetness leak out onto my underwear.
OhMyGod NOoooOOoo!
Right?!
Of course, I understand NOW – again, in retrospect – that what wetted the crotch of my panties during that release was not urine. (It was in no way ‘squirting’ either. Don’t even go there. It was just a normal wet-from-arousal drip.)
But it was horrifying nonetheless.
And – equally horrifying – when my mother finally did stop at a rest area after all this angsty clenchy uncomfortable somatic trauma, I got to the restroom and couldn’t relax enough to GO!
I’d been holding it (‘it’ being my urge to pee) so tight, and for so long, that my little body was like, “Hell no, I’m not gonna unclench your muscles for you!”
I think it took me three full minutes to relax each internal muscle one by one until I could finally let go and pee.
Which…
Let’s just say ‘relief’ doesn’t even begin to cover what I felt at that moment.
Ahem.
So yeah…
It could have been a lot worse. I grant you that. (I could have peed my pants!)
But my first orgasm – at least the first orgasm I remember clearly – was a rather horrible affair.
*laugh*
How about you?
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I don’t know whether to feel, sympathy… or start laughing trying to imagine the look on your face, stuck in traffic, and having to pee…
Oh, I think either way is perfectly appropriate! 😉
I’m also somewhere between OMG horror and OMG Hilarious. i’m glad it made for a very memorable first orgasm tho. I can’t even remember mine.
*laugh*
Yes, it definitely counts as “memorable.” 😛
well I wonder if I am supposed to think of this as horrible or erotic..but it does let me know that peeing can be very erotic and the relief one gets from a well deserved piss is very close to orgasmic…I am one of those weirdos who find pee and pee games very sexy…being peed on will trigger an orgasmic response in me with out erection or ejaculation. watching the stream flow from a woman is to me very sexy….so anyway thanks for writing it was very illuminating and brave of you to do so.
Well, I was still a kid at the time and was pretty discombobulated by the whole thing, so it was most definitely NOT erotic in my book.
As an adult, however, I have found intentional full-bladder orgasms to be erotic. And I’ve also had a bit of fun with watersports. 😉
An interesting introduction to sexuality Mrs F.
In my post “O-O-O-OMG” I discussed various types of female orgasms and mention a non-sexual orgasm I observed once in Lady Thomas. Now she does suffer from epilepsy, so there are changes in her nervous system circuitry that lead to generalized convulsions. But this instance was nothing like that but real pelvic floor orgasm type contractions. We were just sitting talking about trivial minutiae of life when it hit her, totally non-sexual. Now she was going through a very bad period since her doctor had taken her off her medications and was suffering dreadful benzodiazapine withdrawal – hallucinations, palpitations, muscle twitches, etc, etc. So all I can put it down to was another withdrawal symptom.
On a slightly related tangent, I now suffer non-orgasmic ejaculation. I have posted about my post prostate radiotherapy ED. With Viagra I can now achieve a usable erection, but sensitivity is low and orgasms just don’t happen. With prolonged masturbation, I can get a small ejaculation, but no orgasm. With greatly reduced prostate function, there is just insufficient ejaculate produced to build up any pressure in the inner urethra which I think is needed to stimulate a male orgasm.
Our bodies certainly are mysterious things when it comes to all the different aspects of sexuality.
Yes, the human body is most definitely a strange and wondrous organism.
Non-ejaculative orgasms and non-orgasmic ejaculation are two things I’ve had some experience with as a partner, moreso the former due to prostate surgery.
As to your wife’s unusual experience: I’d never heard of “unexpected orgasms” being a side-effect of medication withdrawal. It must have been startling! (But it sounds a whole lot nicer than some of the other effects I’ve heard of!)
I didn’t know that was possible –
but men never really understand
women or their orgasms.
I learned something ! 🙂
It has to do with the pressure on that saddle of muscles. It stimulates the clitoris, I think. (Which is more than just the little nub at the top exterior of the vagina; it’s actually a large organ.)
In men, I suppose a similar concept would be orgasming from prostate stimulation… Though whether that’s possible from clenching alone, I don’t know.
If you really really really have to go, and you finally can, the relief can be almost better than an orgasm. Almost. But this of course is entirely different. What a story, Feve, what a memory. This made me smile 🙂
~ Marie
Yes! (Almost.) 😉
Wow! Haha. I would have been mortified in the moment, but as an adult found it hilarious. The thought of orgasming in the car next to my mother…I think I’d avoid her for a while after that haha.
I never said a word to her about it. After we left the rest area, we got out of the construction zone and had a fairly smooth time of it. I think the rest of our ride was fairly uneventful. (Thank goodness!)
Memorable indeed! My first wasn’t quite so epic.
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I think I may have had orgasms before that — kids usually do, from muscle exertion or rubbing — but I have no clear memory of any.
THIS one, though… No way could I forget it! 😱
oh my goodness! I have been in the situation where everything I am is stopping me from peeing – mind, body and will! So I understand that bit. You must have felt very confused about things. How long after did you realise what had actually occurred?
May x
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I don’t think I made the connection until many years later… Probably in my early twenties when I started having really powerful orgasms. One day I just kinda put two and two together and went, “…hunh…”
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