I spent the majority of my 30s feeling uncomfortable if I wore underwear. I didn’t like the way the elastics bit into my skin; I disliked the cuts available; the lace scratched and the satin-y fabrics didn’t breathe.
So I just went without, both above and below.
But then — around the time I turned 40, when I started dealing with the first symptoms of menopause — I found that the opposite was true. My breasts became more sensitive (and not in a sexy way) and I could barely stand to have even the cottons of my tank tops to be directly against them. So I found some comfy-fabric bras and sporty bralettes and started finding comfort both {1} in the ‘held-in’ support they offered, and {2} the barrier they created between my shirts and my skin.
Between age 44 and 45, the same thing happened again. With the bottoms.
Suddenly going commando — which used to be the most comfortable thing for me to do — was fraught with discomfort.
At first it was dresses and skirts and quickly progressed to pants — especially denim. The ‘free’ feeling of having nothing underneath my jeans, and the sensual enjoyment of feeling the occasional breeze between the swishy fabrics of my dresses and receptive skin on my body was no longer enjoyable.
In fact, at times it was downright painful.
And the bare fact of feeling air against my bare buns quickly went from ‘ohhh’ to ‘OW’.
So I started wearing underpants again.
Comfortable underpants.
Knickers, as the Brits would say.
So these days, if you asked me to say ‘no’ to underwear, I’d respond: No Way!
How about you?
My theme for this year’s A-to-Z is Twenty(-six) Questions.
The question I answered above and now ask to you, is: What is your comfort level with wearing (or not wearing) underwear? And: Has your approach to unders changed over the years?
I’m not looking forward to menopause. I already get enough hot flashes as it is and my breasts are already sensitive and a pain. For most of the pandemic, I had stopped wearing panties…unless I was on my period. It felt comfortable and it was something Sir ordered me not to wear…but now with all my pelvic pain, it’s not something I’m comfortable going without. However, I do wish I could ditch the bras forever haha.
Hi Sass! It’s nice to see you. 🙂
I was always burning up when I was younger (because of my PCOS) and now I have re opposite: I’m cold all the time! So menopause seems to have given me an “opposites” effect. Perhaps the same will be true for you — you may well cool off and lose the pain/sensitivity.
*fingers crossed*
I certainly hope that’s the case. There’s only so much clothes I can take off when I’m hot…but if I’m cold, I can always add layers.
Commando is my favorite, but then again I have retractable landing gear that likes to swing free. A kilt is my favorite garment I rarely get to wear. Gender differences. You get multiple orgasms, I get to go commando. Somewhat unequal it seems but that’s the way it is.
“Retractable landing gear” — HA! 😋
I have no issues with my underwear but I happily spend the rest of my life not wearing a bra, (except while running/sports- they hurt when I move a lot xD)
Yes — even in my no-bra years (decade), I always had sports bras for exercise. Too much jostling is uncomfortable.
Wearing: no problem. I grew up in briefs and permanently switched to boxers as an adult. I do not like the ‘new’ clingy boxers though……worse than briefs in my opinion…….despite their apparent popularity. Also, I have no problem wearing the occasional “pouch panty” for those subby times when Rosa and I are looking to add something extra.
Not wearing: ideologically I have no problem with “commando” but their are certain logistical issues for me as a chaste guy to not have something between me and my pants for those times when I have some leakage going or may have going. In my situation the sheer length of time without release can result in the simplest of things triggering a bit of ooze……even if not voluminous. (The last thing I want after a tease is to go out somewhere and look like I wet my pants!) However, if not wearing underwear is just part of not wearing ANYTHING, then fine.
Yes, I can see how leakage might be an issue!
Was smiling thru out the post…like some one said above yes …being bra less is like the biggest kind of freedom but at home it’s fine…when u go out in diff types of attires so tough…but covid even if. A disaaster gave freedom to dress up how ever we want 🙂
That’s true — I have noticed much more lax/relaxed attire in public since COVID. Sweatpants and leggings have replaced denim for a lot of people as primary casualwear. I’m assuming that what gets worn (or is not worn) underneath has likely changed as well.
I’m definitely more of a mood than policy kind of gal with regard to wearing or not.
That makes total sense. 🙂
I’ve never gone without underwear. I just doesn’t feel comfortable.
I think there are a lot of people who would agree with you. 🙂
I can do without ever seeing a bra again, but i need me my knickers. I sleep in a tee and knickers, cos pjs and shorts don’t move *with* me when I toss about in bed – the fabric gets caught and pulled and I wake up grumpy. Knickers on the other hand, move wherever I move. 😀
That makes sense.
On hot nights (which are a rarity Where I Live), I sleep in knickers and a tank top.
Same here, Feve. I prefer underwear nowadays, and it has to be comfortable!
~ Marie xox
Amen.
I go to myself, I sing to myself
No bra, no panties
Nice chill under the dress..
I used to find going without to be quite comfortable. But alas, that is no longer the case.