Labels can be such a divisive thing. They can help people find their tribe but they can also paint people into corners. I mostly avoid labels whenever possible in my relationships. But when it comes to my writing… Well, sometimes labels are helpful. (Or are they? After all, one man’s cat food is another man’s tuna surprise.) And no doubt, labels – in one way or another – have influenced your choice to visit this blog. Whether through search engine explorations or linked content elsewhere, something about this blog’s label appealed to you.
So to find out whether or not the content here is, indeed, what you are looking for: Let’s peel back a few labels and read the fine print, shall we? 🙂
BDSM: My husband is my friend, my lover, my life partner, my equal. Yes, there are D/s aspects to My relationship with the Mister. Our D/s play is primarily F/m (and the term ‘slave’ is not one we use within our dynamic) and includes a broad range of activities (some of which I will never write about explicitly because I respect his hard limits), but does NOT include pain (not *much* pain, anyway…) or humiliation. Additionally, all of our BDSM activities – and all the BDSM activities I write about that are not “ours” but that involve other people – are safe, sane, sober, consensual, and FUN. As for FLR… Well, other than the fact that I don’t Domme right, let’s just say that’s a whole ‘nother cup of tea.
Spanking: I enjoy spanking for the sake of spanking. It’s never ‘punishment’. This is a flesh-on-flesh ONLY activity for me.* Hands only. No belts, hairbrushes, whips, or other flogging instruments. I’m typically the one administering blows, and there have been times my palm has been swollen and numb by the time I’m finished. I use the sensory feedback in my hand(s) to gauge how far we’ve come and how far we’ve yet to go, and I’ve learned over time how to build from soft shushing strokes to whip-crack welting stings. I like leaving my handprints on my spouse’s ass. And on my not-spouse’s ass.
*After nearly 17 years together, I made one exception to that rule for my spouse. Whether it will happen again is yet to be seen.
Polyamory/Swinging: This is incredibly complicated. I’m not part of either community (nor, quite frankly, do I want to be; I answered some interview questions about this once), but I have first-hand experience with both, and have carved a niche for myself along the borders in-between. I’ve embarked on numerous amorous adventures over the years ~ both with and without my husband ~ and I am currently…um…involved…outside my marital relationship. I’ve had good experiences, and I’ve had painful ones; I have experienced the intensity of both connection and severance; I’ve lived, I’ve loved, and I’ve learned. At this point in my life, I’m not interested in sex only for the sake of sex. I choose to build relationships. It’s… Complicated.
Complicated…
But that’s life, isn’t it? A complicated, categorical conundrum.
I love the hand print on my ass!! I also like seeing my hand print…but like seeing it on my ass more than giving it…
Damnit..I so want an applause button!
*picture me , standing on chair applauding—–>HERE*
yes a spanking, such a fun and safe thing to do….I love being over the knee. I could just lie there for hours….
And, since my last comment, just to add, I love all things from the body – slap, spank, punch, as well as the fluids, esp spit, Though less than before…
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Great read. Lots of conversations in my home lately around polyamory. I’m not looking for the drama associated with it. A past rife with sexual trauma makes it seem much less fun. However, I’m down for the BDSM and spanking. Some outside play doesn’t seem so bad either, but full-fledged emotional involvement, I’ll pass. Looking forward to reading more.
Oh, I hear you — I am a no-drama llama! 🙂
>>>>>>>>”find out whether or not the content here is, indeed, what you are looking for”<<<<<<<<<
Even if you were to write about something I totally was not into, it would not affect my interest in your blog. The three biggest 'hooks' in your posts that have allowed you to reel me in are:
1: Your relationship and several of your issues resemble ours…..not identically, but where would the fun in THAT be?
2: You employ an attractive combination of clever wordplay and occasional, plain old, 'interesting' (tantalizing?) photos, simultaneously baiting both my mind and more visceral self.
3: The combination stated in #2, not only attracts but reveals. As such. I recognize you as an interesting, intelligent person……………………..a rarity these days. So refreshing and even restorative.
All that schmoozing aside. LOL Lets now lay the question of whether I'm coming to the right place aside and discuss the particulars in this post. Having stated the similarities in our relationships,( right down to I believe the precise age difference of 17 years?) I DO enjoy 'differences'. And while we do some of the same things we definitely don't do all and even do the same ones differently.
We are pretty hardcore with spanking. Palms are for when I smack my Honey at her request for occasional sensation play, but when Rosa spanks me, it's the real deal and she uses a paddle that stings like a M-*@$%-er. And while we do F/m "play" we also attempt a limited FLR with "DD" as the enforcing policy. It's a complicated lifestyle not without its own tricky pitfalls.
As for polyamory? Not for us, BUT it might seem odd to some for me to say that when I admit to having another person who spanks me. Now, if a person assumes 100% of all adult spanking must be sexual, they might assume this is the case here as well……but it's not. In fact, other than a loving friendship, the other party is not even attracted to men sexually…..and certainly not me. She just likes having the authority my wife and I have given her. So…not poly there.
And while not mentioned in this particular post, our approach to O-control sounds a LOT like yours, and so there we might be almost totally aligned.
So there are some similarities and departures……..but don't they just make sharing views more fun?
I certainly appreciate that you *do* read — and participate in conversations — here in this space. Especially considering that you are not currently blogging yourself.