Sage-Flavored SPAM

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Even though I have pretty hefty spam filters on this blog (and take additional steps to permanently block known spammers), the algorithms still see fit for me “double check” Obvious Spammyness™, which means I’m often treated to very… um, speshul… messages in my WTF Cache®.

Often, said spammyness has a particularly Outlet Mall aesthetic: watches and leather jackets and athletic shoes, oh my!

Other times, spam is oddly insulting or strangely praising (You amazing intervene to put this write up! Many thanks!) or is written in Swahili or Hindi or Russian.

Today, however, I got hit with this gem:

 

For most, irritation usually involves people.

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Gifted Cock

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He indulges me.

Sometimes enthusiastically, occasionally befuddledly, other times with a half-horrified I can’t believe you actually want to do that look on his face and a confused “Ohhh…kaaaaay…” on his lips.

This morning it was the latter.

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Ask the (in)Expert: FemDom, wot?

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So this is a bit of a blogging experiment, I guess.  The success(?)…

Well, success is an odd variable.  I mean, my experiments are known to result in explosions… of various… kinds…

Which may or may not indicate success, in terms of “it turned out how I wanted/expected/demanded.”

[…pondering verbiage…]

.

.

.

Eh.

*shrug*

Success will do.

Ahem.

So.  The success of this blogging experiment is pretty much dependent on YOU.  (As in, you, dear reader.  Yes, YOU.)

Specifically, it is dependent on whether or not you have any interest (or desire to express said interest) in FemDom-ish whatsamahoozits.

It is equally dependent, I suppose, on ME.  As in:  Will I actually have anything useful/helpful/laughable to say on the topic/question(s) you may pose?

Which…

Uhm.  I have no idea?

HOWEVER

After one of my partners said, “Well, you should have quite a bit of material to draw from on *that* topic” when I was pondering FemDom As A Thing™, I kind of went…

Uh?

Because really…  I don’t think of myself in that way.

I mean:  Yes, I lean toward F/m dynamics in my relationships.  And yes, I suppose I am a bit Domme-y in my own way(s).

Sometimes.

Okay, most times.  😛

But when I think of FemDom, I think of all the beastly-bitch-bordering-on-abuse tropes and of kink-focused fetishization (which is typically done for male pleasure, so how is that all about female control, exactly?), and that’s just not me.

Yes, I have occasionally been known to wear stiletto boots.  And yes, I can be an incredible bitch.  (Emphasis on ‘incredible’.  😀 )  But while I have been known to give a few swats to an ass in need of reddening (remember what I said about ‘success’ equaling ‘explosions‘?), I’m really more “soft place to land” than “harsh mistress.”

But it occurs to me that for many of you who read here, the fact that I engage in certain (seemingly-kinky) activities or approach my relationship(s) from an FLR point of view may equate simply to “FemDom” in your perception.

Which is perfectly okay.

And if that is the case…  Given some of the things you may have read on this blog…

Perhaps you have questions?

And maybe (MAYBE) I have answers.

So.  Here’s the blogging experiment:

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Feve’s 5: Guides for Getting Your Kink On

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Getting Your Kink On

There is a misapprehension among the kink-curious, I think, that you can just jump right into whatever kinky thing you are interested in – without prior exposure or knowledge – and that Voila!  You will be Instantly Amazing and perfect at All The Things right away.

I can understand why, considering the types of photos we see and the stories we read.  There is much available in terms of both written and visual material when it comes to The Sexy End Result; not so much about the steps people took to get there.

But the idea that one should be able to go from zero to Insta-Kink in 3.2 seconds flat?

Um…  NO.

Applying one’s rational brain to the circumstances at hand (i.e., having never even held a rope in your hands before means you’re probably NOT going to be the King of Kinbaku the first time you try it) is always a good idea; somehow, though, ‘rational’ seems to take a swan dive out a high window when the subject at hand involves kinky things.

This is partly due to the not-geared-to-beginners nature of a lot of easily-available online material.  (Or – worse – the dangerous and incorrect information provided in the guise of ‘tutorials’ available thus.)

But it can also be attributed to the occasionally-overenthusiastic “YES!”-ness and the unthinking/irrational desire-to-please on the part of play partners.  By that, I don’t mean that wanting to please our partners by trying new things is wrong.  Of course not.  Rather, I mean that – often – in our rush to Do This New Kinky Thing RIGHT NOW (before someone changes their mind), we are prone to make mistakes.  And in so doing, we can get it wrong.  If/when that’s the case…

Best Case Scenario:  Someone is uncomfortable, overwhelmed, confused, or bored.

Worst Case Scenario:  Someone gets hurt.

To avoid those scenarios:  The following articles are How-To examples I’ve found for Getting Your Kink On that mange to maintain enthusiasm without curtailing the hotness potential or compromising safety.  (Section titles are links.)  Please click through if you wish to learn a thing or two. 🙂

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