Is this not the most glorious cock you’ve ever seen?
I’m not one for awarding cock shots, but this one is blue ribbon all the way, baby!
BUT HOW?
The Experts™ are great at telling us to communicate, but very rarely does anyone give any tips as to how to go about doing so, especially when it comes to sex and relationships.
- Having a problem in the bedroom? No problem! Just talk about it.
- Want to try something new during sexy time? Go ahead and talk about it.
- Secretly imagining your lover is Spiderman? That’s okay! Talk it out.
Except when you do talk about it, you TALK (often vaguely or overly enthusiastically or in excruciating detail) and you don’t listen (or even check in with your partner to make sure they’re in a mindframe that will allow them to listen), so it all comes out jumbled and feelings get hurt and questions are posed without any forethought or explanation. That kind of “communication” leaves people reeling, believing themselves to be inadequate or unloved, which often leads to:
- Worse problems in the bedroom, or
- Not even getting the same ol’, same ol’, let alone something new, or
- You being forbidden from ever again attending a Comic Con.
Not to worry, Diana Prince. Only-on-Saturday-nights, roll-over-and-snooze-afterward sex is…
Well, maybe it’s not fixable, per se. (Sorry – you might want to see a therapist.) But it’s definitely preventable.
You just have to talk about it. (Heh.)
Here’s a clue: Talk about it (whatever ‘it’ is) ahead of time.
Look. I am not an expert or a guru or even a fry cook taking night classes in psychology. I do, however, have something going for me that might make my take on How To Communicate worth listening to: I’m happy in my relationships.
Here’s why:
Because sometimes I get questions along the lines of, “What should I give my girlfriend for Christmas/Valentine’s Day/Halloween/our seven-day anniversary?”
And because, as anyone who has had the experience of being broke and/or comes from a large family (or both! – Feve bows) knows: It’s never too early to plan ahead for birthdays/weddings/holidays/your six-year-old niece’s college graduation.
From Lee Fearnley’s greeting card collection
I call him my Chore Whore.
It is a term of endearment, always said with affection, and one that developed out of my deep appreciation for the tasks he undertakes. Yes, I tease my husband about how great his ass looks when he’s bent over scrubbing floors, but underneath my raised eyebrows and his wiggling ones is the shared knowledge that what he is doing is an Act of Service**, and that his doing and my acknowledging of the chores he undertakes is an expression of our underlying relationship.