…who is completely creeped out by the Elf on the Shelf?
I mean…
Yes, I’m an exhibitionist.
But being watched by the shelfy elf?
Considering that Elfy could be the poster child for homicidal mania…
Shudder.
In.
Revulsion.
It makes me ten kinds of twitchy. And if I’m going to be twitching, there are so much more pleasurable ways to get to that state.
Just sayin’.
Bit nipply? 😛
The weather isn’t the only thing that makes me shiver…
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I’m not big on sexting. (My fingers would rather be stroking my kitty than my qwerty.) My friends (lower case = platonic), however, are always well aware when the Missus has sex on her brain. Well, one friend does anyway. He can read me really well, even from across the country. Case in point:
Friend: How is Zuuland? (cute kissy face cannot be included because wordpress has sucky emoticons)
I tried to leave the nicknames out of it, but if you’re OCD about the Zuuland thing, click here. It’ll make more sense.
Moi: Meh
I’m normally much more loquacious. He knows something’s up.
Friend: That’s “hem” backward lol
Moi: Yup
Another one word response. Now he wants to know what, exactly, is up.
Friend: I ordered Jimmy John’s
Moi: Nice
I can practically hear his thoughts: Smotch isn’t home… She’d tell me if she was upset… She’d also tell me if she was masturbating… This one-wordism must be about something else.
Friend: The Gargantuan is awesome
Loooooong pause…
Moi: Um, that sounds like a statement one would overhear at an adult toy store
Ahhh… She’s just got sex on the brain.
Sex.
On.
The.
Brain.
😉
Who, me?
Yes, yes… Very punny. PERVS!
The Dreaming Sub (who seems to have disappeared) left this video for me (thank you, subby!) in the comments section of another post, and I. Love. It!
LOVE IT!
Did it work?
F*I*N*A*L*L*Y
Yay!
Enjoy! 😀