Cock Size: Does it matter?

      30 Comments on Cock Size: Does it matter?

I’m going to let you in on two pieces of wisdom here, people:

  1. Cock size matters.
  2. It matters in a different way than you’ve been conditioned to understand.

COCK SIZE MATTERS

And now that the guys are all “But nobody’s ever complained about mine” (would you have heard it if someone tried?), and “Other women say it’s not important” (since when did you ever figure me for ‘other women’?) and all that jazz, I’m gonna break it down for you:

  • Did I say that only giant cocks are worth fucking?  No, I did not.
  • Did I say only specific sizes were acceptable?  No, I did not.
  • Did I say that your feasibility as a lover is based only on the size of your cock?  NO, I DID NOT.

What I did say is that cock size matters.

You see, it’s about fit.

Anybody who says “size doesn’t matter” has obviously never tried to cram a size 12 foot into a size 8 shoe, or shove an entire slice of pizza into their mouth in one bite.  Your shoes must fit your feet, yes?  And your bites must fit your mouth.

Just so, the cock that is trying to jam itself into an orifice must fit.

Tab A must fit Slot B.

With that in mind, take your thinking caps and adjust them to the left for a moment, please.

Consider this:  Not all vaginas are created equal.  Neither are all mouths or anuses.  Yes, there are some general commonalities in regards to placement on the body and functionality, but really, that’s where it ends.  So think about it.  If the orifices that are penetrated by said cock all vary in depth, tightness, circumference, lubrication, etc., doesn’t it make sense that what each woman prefers in terms of the size of the cock doing the penetrating would also vary?

You see, the thing about cock size is that it has everything to do with penetrative compatibility.  (I would think that’s true for M/F as well as M/M sexual couplings, but I cannot presume to speak from anybody else’s experience but my own.)  It’s a matter of fit.

Let’s have some examples, shall we?

One of my best friends’ wives has a cavernous vagina.  Pretty much, unless you’re sporting a ten-inch erection approximately the girth of a flag pole, your cock is not going to give her any sort of feeling of being full.  It’s how she’s built.  (For comfort, not for speed.  😉 )  It’s (gasp!) her size.  I’ve discussed this at length with her husband, who will never be mistaken for a porn star (his cock size is average), and he loves the feel of her.  And she, him.  What they have works.  Why?  Because they both like the way they fit together.

I’ve talked to women who have extremely shallow vaginal channels.  For these women, cock size most definitely matters.  As in, it can’t be too long.  They’ll avoid PIV sex with men who are even average in length, because regardless of the fact that the vaginal tissues stretch and elongate when aroused (see here for more on vaginal mechanics), it’s sometimes not enough.  They need cocks on the shorter end of the spectrum to ensure a comfortable fit.

Once, in a same-room sex situation, I watched a man with a cock the size of my pinky (no, I’m not kidding) fuck his girlfriend.  {She was understandably enamored with my spouse’s size, but we’ll get to him later.}  It was one of those things that made me go, “Hmn…” but at the same time, I could see why it worked for them.  The lady in question had spent years in a sexless marriage, and while I don’t think her boyfriend’s dick did much for her vaginally, they both loved anal sex.  His size made it so that anal penetration allowed him to feel the snugness in a way that stimulated all those sensitive nerve endings in her ass painlessly.  Sometimes people fit together in peculiar ways.

My first long-term relationship began at age 18.  His was the first cock I spent any significant amount of time getting to know intimately, and it was on the happy side of average in length (6 ¼ inches – yes, we measured 😛 ), with a curved shaft and a fat head that dripped precum.  He was girthy enough that it took effort to close my fist around him.  (I have long fingers, and my hands are not small.)  I had little to compare him with (my prior sexual experiences were mostly non-events that took place in the dark), and I was his first.  (Can I just tell you how amazingly sweet it is to be gifted a man’s virginity?)  We learned about sex and pleasure together (and from one another), and while I don’t think I always articulated it well at the time, the bottom line was, I liked how he felt inside me.  We fit.

There is a misconception, I think, that when it comes to fit, it’s a one-size-fits-all type of thing.  But really, in my experience, the reality is that multiple sizes fit most.

Several years ago, I had a week-long vacation fling with a guy who had a 3 ½ inch cock.  He was well aware that his size was below average, but he had great control, and he worked hard to make sure I was satisfied.  The shallow penetration was a new experience for me at the time, but having continual G-spot stimulation has its perks.  I had no problem cumming during penetration.  He was small, but he fit.

More recently, I had a long-term long-distance relationship with a man whose slightly-curved regular-girth cock was on the short size of average.  We had an intense connection, and *that* is what made the sex great.  He knew how to fuck my mind, so whenever the time would near for us to see one another, he’d start stroking my biggest erogenous zone (my brain).  I’d be a soaking wet creamy mess by the time he pushed inside me.  And because of the penetrative positions we used, feeling full was never an issue.  We fit.

Again:  Size matters.  But it’s a matter of fit.

My husband has a beautiful cock.  His size, at half-mast, is akin to what the average man sports when fully erect.  He has girth and he has length.  But more importantly, the thing he has that nobody else does, is longevity.  He’s studied my body for 13 years, and he knows how to bring me pleasure.  He has skills.  To borrow the words of  another blogger on the topic:

I know her spots. I know the places to touch to warm her up and how many fingers to use and where to go when she’s plateauing and then how to bring her home to orgasm. I know her rhythm and what her sounds mean and where she is in the process of coming with me. I can tell the difference between her letting it take longer because she likes what I’m doing and when she’s having a harder time getting there. Her body and my brain connect there in a more intimate way . . .

You see?  Skills.  My husband has them.  In spades.

My current paramour does as well.  And when it comes to size, he fits.  Delightfully.

Fitting together…  Isn’t that what the matter of size is really all about?

It is for me.

So yes:  Cock size matters.

It’s just that it matters differently than most of us have been conditioned to understand.

Perhaps it is time to re-fit our thinking.

🙂

30 thoughts on “Cock Size: Does it matter?

  1. Basdenleco

    Excellent article on what is in most men’s eyes a taboo subject.
    For a slew of reasons I did not loose my virginity, have sexual intercourse till some time being introduced to oral delights and the subliminal use of various toys.
    The discovery that vaginas varied as much as the personalities of ladies came as a surprise and there was little indication of the woman’s physique or personality as to what one might discover.
    Being in therapy since encountering my first pornographic magazine as a 13 year old and migrating to 16 mm films then I make no claim as to my penis’s attributes.
    From being ridiculed to being pulled by the appendage to a ladies boudoir then at the end of it foreplay, coupled with oral and mechanical simulation will encourage the “fit to occur”.
    And it takes practice, those times are treasured when mutual pleasuring is equally climaxed

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      It definitely takes practice, and just as no two people are built the same, no two sexual experiences are either.

      I’m sorry to hear you were ridiculed. Understanding one’s own sexuality and chosing to lose one’s virginity are such deeply personal experiences. Negativity, especially from bullying, can be deeply scarring.

      Reply
  2. Dawn D

    YES!
    It’s funny, it’s what I’ve been trying to tell my lover ever since I’ve met him.
    Cock size matters to me, but not in the usual way. A big cock scares me. It’s that simple. By big cock, I mean those things that most porn movies sport, or the ones that men brag about. Because, let’s face it, regular sized men, whether slightly above average or not, don’t brag about their cock size.
    Actually, I think it’s the bragging that annoys me most, not so much the cock size. It feels like, to some men, just having a big appendage makes them gods. But it’s so far from the truth!
    My regular lover has what I’d say a slightly above average size cock, just the perfect length and girth for vaginal and oral, but it’s probably on the wrong side of too thick for me anally (I was an anal virgin not that long ago). It doesn’t prevent us from doing anal sex, but it probably brings me just that little bit too much pain for it to be really pleasurable for long.
    On the other hand, I once met a man in a club whose cock was slightly leaner than my lover’s, and… anal with him was very easy and pleasant, even without proper lube. I felt that my throat opened more easily to accommodate his length too.
    Size matters in ways that are not always obvious. And I’m more interested in the person attached to the cock, how in tune they are with me, my needs and my pleasure, than to the cock itself.
    Of course, having had a few children, I do realise that not all men will be satisfied by my maybe too large for some vagina. Though I’ve had experiences with many different men, of many different sizes, including some on the small side of average, and… none seems to have had complaints. At least not the ones who were into an exchange and not just mechanics. Funnily enough, the ones who complained were all men who knew they were above average and were certain their cock size would do all the work. And their complaints weren’t about not having enough stimulation, but because I was still willing to go even after they were done. Excuse me or being me and not being done after a mere one or two orgasms!
    So as you say, it’s a matter of fit. And not all cocks fit in all holes in the same way. But most importantly I think, it’s a matter of how our brains fit together. A little endowed man who is in tune with my body will give me pleasure and derive more pleasure himself than a well endowed one who can’ even imagine that there is pleasure to be had for the woman outside of penetration. Yes, I’ve had a man ask me how I was going to be satisfied if he couldn’t penetrate me because I didn’t have the appropriate condoms.
    Ok, rant over 🙂
    Thank you for writing this!

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Funnily enough, the ones who complained were all men who knew they were above average and were certain their cock size would do all the work.

      YES.

      There seems to be trend toward laziness among men who have large cocks. It’s like they think that size alone makes them great in bed. Um, NO, that’s not how it works! And that kind of mindset makes for a lousy lover.

      My husband is well endowed, but he doesn’t know it (or perhaps it’s that he doesn’t believe it). He’s had to work very hard with me because of that, as my body and its willingness to accept him has changed with age. Sex together, when we have it (our frequency is not what it once was), has always been really good, and a lot of that is because he’s always been focused on my pleasure. He knows better than to think a big dick is all he needs. 🙂

      Reply
      1. Dawn D

        I’m glad I’m not the only one to feel this way 🙂

        Glad to read that your husband knows better. There is nothing worse in bed than someone who thinks they’re here only for the mechanics, and do not realise sex is an exchange, that if there’s no sharing, then there is no point!

        Reply
      2. Bill Rice

        A friend once told me that he preferred women that were plain, not vain. A trophy wife/girlfriend expects to be fawned over and doesn’t want to do any of the “Work” during sex. A trophy cock isn’t very useful either. If you like looking at them it works for that.

        Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      On AFF, the vast majority of men led with their cocks. I once got propositioned by a man who claimed to have a 14″ dick. I saw pictures. It looked like something out of a horror film. I said no. I had no desire to practice my blood-curdling screams. Besides, I happen to find value in *not* walking bow-legged. 😉

      Reply
  3. NP1

    Why the fixation on cock size? it’s not the man’s cock that does all the work—it’s the lady’s brain. That’s where her g spot is. Very few people seem to find out about that. Which is a great pity because once you discover that, then fucking becomes merely one instrument in the sexual symphony.
    All girls are multi-orgasmic once they have the confidence to be so. They just don’t know it.
    I was lucky enough to meet a lover who taught me how my brain works–he now owns me, not because he is possessive in any way, but because I can’t get what I want anywhere else.
    And the conceited devil knows this.

    the critical factor is emotional connection, once that is established (meaning the man has to be utterly unselfish and take his time to find things out)—and the lady knows she is not under pressure to “perform” then the magic can start to happen. A climax can come from just a look, the lightest touch (and I don’t mean just THERE). Perhaps a softly worded story, words woven around her until her mind knows no other focus except that of needing sex—and she’s literally gagging for it. (As I always am)
    He must tell her all the evil things he intends to do to her, in detail. Maybe blindfolded so she creates her own imagery.
    Forget about size–that has nothing to do with satisfaction. Penetration in a conventional sense comes later.
    Poise with just the tip at her entrance–making her wait. Use your eyes to hold her in thrall–watch another climax build and explode in seconds as her need grows stronger. Then another–and another.
    How does that happen?
    Because she knows she can only get what she wants from the cock that is feeding her needs. That she is being raped and cherished simultaneously.
    You’ll find that orgasms will come in rapid succession before fucking actually starts. And it becomes literally endless and unstoppable.
    A woman can have 100 orgasms to a man’s one—unfair I know. But a real lover will glory in that.

    Even after he has come–the connection need not stop. The caressing, the storytelling goes on. In my case until I gently fall asleep into a black nothingness in sheer exhaustion. —That’s another thing, in our 15 years together, he has never fallen asleep before me. A revelation initially, but now that makes me feel wonderfully protected somehow.
    This is semi-autobiographical novel covering this subject I came across recently–worth a read maybe
    Need by Francesca Anderssen http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S1WNXJ4 which sort of covers what I’ve been trying to put over. A bit kinky—well very kinky really but that’s mainstream nowadays anyway

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      An unselfish lover is a Good Thing. And I agree, the most sensitive sexual organ is the mind. But a woman’s mind, just like the rest of her body, is not a one-size-fits-all thing to be fucked. The things you personally state to find stimulating are not the things that turn me on; no two women are the same. I do understand what you are saying though. There’s more to sex than penetrative mechanics.

      Thanks for your comment. 🙂

      Reply
      1. NP1

        i know there’s no one size fits all for minds as well as anywhere else.

        i was trying to make the point about how sex can go on for hours and days, but not just through conventional fucking—more through mindplay and creativity in that respect. If there isn’t that constant desire to find fresh play areas, then things can maybe get stale, and eventually fade away

        Reply
  4. darkartmodel

    Thank you for this… I think you wrote so beautifully on this topic (as you usually do)… and I have to admit that feelings about my own size have been on my mind while dating, and I think you hit the nail on the head by describing size as a matter of “fit” for each person, instead of being a generic consideration among women.

    I’m probably what you’d describe as on the smaller end of average, yet I’ve been told by lovers that I’m everything from too small to too big (thick), and everything in between, but most often it’s the case that being considered smaller is not synonymous with being sexually inadequate. I’ve come to realize that having a small penis is more of a concern in the locker room than in the bedroom.

    Another aspect that I think is important for men is to have a realistic understanding of how their size affects their ability to make love to another… a large man, for example, obviously has a lot going for him, but he needs to realize that not every woman can accommodate his size, or at least not without his being gentle, that anal may be out of the question, and that he still needs to “work at it” to make his lover happy. A small man, as the small lover you described, realized his (pardon the pun) shortcomings, and worked hard to make sure you were pleasured despite them. The man who goes the extra mile to please his lover, irrespective of his size, is more of a man than the one who takes it for granted just because he sports a telephone pole, IMO.

    Thank you for your thoughts on this!

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I’m so glad this resonated for you. Thanks for taking the time to comment. 🙂

      I am considering doing a follow-up piece to this, because along with my stance that (1) yes, size matters, I also feel strongly that (2) size is not the only thing that matters. Far from it. And it is as you say: a lover who works hard to please his partner is the best kind of lover, regardless of size.

      I think you are right that the whole “gotta be BIG” is a locker room issue, not a bedroom one. It’s a fallacy that is damaging to both men and women. But that’s another soapbox for another day. 🙂

      Reply
  5. Elliott Henry

    I enjoyed your post, Mrs Fever… I had not thought of cock size in that respect. I don’t really think about cock size, since mine does just fine by me… average size, fits nicely in my hand, not too big not too small. I heard an expression once… “It’s not the meat, it’s the motion”. I’ve always tried to live up to that and pleasure my partner creatively, rather than just cramming it in and pounding away.

    I’m not sure how I got here, but I’ll have a look around. (Oh, I remember… Elust)

    Cheers, Elliott
    Elliott Henry recently posted…StrokingMy Profile

    Reply
  6. Professor Taboo

    I found this post quite funny as well as fair and informative Mrs. Fever! Thank you.

    At the risk of super oversimplifying, all in life is immeasurably diverse and fluid — very VERY few things exist in perfect permanent symbiosis every minute of every day, every year! So it goes too with sexual harmony: There are good “fits”, there are sublime “fits”, there are below average “fits”, there are horrible “fits”… and even these four “fits” will fluctuate through time in various degrees! And to make human connection and interaction even MORE expansive, MORE excitedly mysterious… if one is a little gregarious and socially engaging, one can easily find there are hundreds (thousands?) of good-fits, sublime-fits, below average-fits, and horrible-fits! Why are sexually charged humans too often obsessed with black-or-white designations, or strictly binary systems!? Personally, I find that approach to be terribly amputating or cheating yourself out of more whole life experiences!

    Great post Mrs. Fever! <3

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      …and “tight fits” and “doesn’t fit” and “throwing fits” and… 😉

      Glad you liked it. 🙂 Thank you for visiting.

      Reply
  7. Dean Stevens

    As a dwarf I am certain that my cock is below average size when flaccid, but I am quite pleased to say that when excited and erect it grows a fair but, probably over double its flaccid size. I am also a virgin yet to experience size and have a women see and judge my cock, but reading this post has certainly made me feel a lot better about myself and my cock size. It has been great reading this. Thank you!

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Thank you for your comment, Dean. I’m glad this was a positive read for you. 🙂

      I have a female friend who is a dwarf (she prefers the term ‘Little Person’), who is also a virgin, and very concerned about issues of size and fit and “normalcy” and expectations where intercourse is concerned. I know that here in the states there is an organization that hosts conferences and provides education on a variety of topics as they impact people of short stature. I don’t know if they do/have, but it would be nice if they tackled sexual issues as well.

      Reply
      1. Dean Stevens

        It may sound strange but dwarves, or little persons as your friend prefers to be known, are more common in the US. I have never met a female dwarf here in London.
        I do understand her concerns. As a male my thought is having myself in a lady, whereas hers would be fitting someone inside her.

        Reply

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