Defining SEXY: The Male Body Beautiful

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What is the sexiest part of a man’s body?

This, to me, is like the Best Sex question.  He knows that these kinds of inquiries make me insane, but he asks anyway.

Sexiest?  In what way?  And you’re going to have to define ‘sexy’ first, please.  Because my first answer, in terms of what attracts me to a person, is always going to be “his mind” even when it’s clear that the man asking me this question (read: my spouse) has obviously *lost* his mind, because he knows questions like this make me fist-clenchingly crazy.

Me being…well…ME, I ask for clarification.

Which he provides with alacrity.  (Alacrity, and a stunning disregard for the fact – a fact he knows full well – that I can barely muster a ‘meh’ interest in a man based on physical characteristics alone, nevermind actually find said Physical Man to be ‘sexy’.)

“You know what I mean, hon,” he expounds oh-so-unhelpfully.  “Physical traits.  When you look at a guy, what part of him are you looking at?  What is sexy to you?  What turns you on?”

Sometimes I think he (and every other man I’ve ever been in a relationship with) has convinced himself (with the assistance of mass media and geared-to-men magazine advertisements and the contrivances of commercialism) that {a} there *must* be ONE answer to this question, and {b} that *I* must have THE answer.

Oh, and that {c} obviously the answer is PENIS.  Amiright?!  Because, What else could a woman possibly be interested in?

What else, indeed?


What is ‘Sexy’?

‘Sexy’ – more often than not – is, to me

(and here’s where we emphasize the To Me portion of today’s program; these are strictly my thoughts and opinions – yours may differ and THAT’S OKAY)

…about what’s left to the imagination.


‘Sexy’ need not be explicit.  It does not even need to be unclothed.

I’ve had multiple conversations with otherwise-broadminded men who make astoundingly narrow-perception comments about their own bodies, and what is sexy about them.  When encouraged to participate in Sinful Sunday, for example, one male blogger came back with “But I don’t want to post pics of my dick.”



So you think that for a photo to be ‘sexy’ it is required to be a cock selfie?

[insert expression of utter bafflement here, followed by screaming Nooooooo! face]

Look, gentlemen:  I have approximately ZERO interest in seeing pictures of your dick.  Even if that part of your anatomy is something I control – and perhaps especially then – I do not need to see snapshots of it.

If you’re enamored with your penis, and you enjoy taking photos of it, I get it.  I really do.  And more power to you.

But those dangly bits are far from the only thing that come to my mind when considering the question of What is sexy? on a man.  It is often the *last* thing that comes to mind, in fact.

So let’s take a moment to think outside the cock-box and discuss what ‘sexy’ means, shall we?


man's hand moving down the front of un-buttoned jeans

Image courtesy of Molly’s Daily Kiss

‘Sexy’ is about what you DON’T show, just as much as what you DO.

The photo above says it all:  Unbottoned fly, a bit of skin, open shirt… UNF.

It hints at much, while revealing very little. It’s…


If one of my partners sent me a photo like this, I’d be *beyond* stoked.  Because it’s a tease.  It’s a photographic invitation.  To watch, to wonder.  To imagine.

Is he bare under there?  Will his hands be wrapped around his cock soon?

{His hands…  Dear God, have I ever told y’all about my fascination with men’s hands?  LOVE.  THEM.  Like:  Next to forearms, hands are my probably my favorite piece of anatomical artistry ever.  EVAR.}



Looking at this photo, I wonder:

What is he thinking about?  If such a photo came from a lover I would want to know:  Will he tell me what was going on in his mind at that moment?  How? When?

How warm is his skin?  Is he fresh from the shower, or on his way to taking one?  (And if it’s the latter, how dirty is he?)

This photo does not show the model’s cock; a sexy photo of a man does NOT have to include his cock to to make me think about it.

And I don’t have to think about his cock AT ALL to consider his photo ‘sexy’.  (See: HANDS, above.)


But, you are wondering, what about the nakedness, Feve?

Ah, yes.

There is that…


Below are some examples that encompass what ‘sexy’ means to me.  They are decidedly more…revelatory…than anything I would normally post on this blog, but I am making an exception to my typical rules for the purposes of this post because I am making a point.

That said, please be aware that all photos beyond this point are decidedly NSFW.  If you’re not in a location where you can safely view nude images, or otherwise do not wish to see fleshy photos, now would be the time to click away.

As for the rest of you:



photo of a man lying face-down, showcasing buttocks and thighs

Image courtesy of Dark Art Model

Is this not a gorgeous photo?

I love the play of light over the curves of his buttocks and thighs, the dips and shadows created by the contours of his body.  I like the combination of toned muscle firmness and gently rounded softness.  The fact that he has stretch marks on his skin makes him all the more human – relate-able, tempting, touchable – and the crease in his lower back (I have always enjoyed exploring my lovers’ backs) is the perfect landing spot for an exploratory kiss.

It is, in a word, stunning.

And if you want to see what’s underneath…

Well, if you click the link and view the photo essay from whence this image came, you may just get what you want.  😉



man's body draped in sheets

Image courtesy of Kilted Wookie

This photo speaks to me of warm mornings spent under the covers, of sunlight streaming across sleep-warmed skin, of “let’s snuggle” and “breakfast can wait” and “Come back to bed.”

The first thing I see when I look at this picture is V of his arm posed in front of his chest.  It’s clear that there is space between his arm and his body, and those are always the snuggliest places to wiggle into.  I like the way his muscles are in that half-relaxed, not-quite-ready-to-get-up way we all experience, and I like the way the curve of his elbow acts like an arrow, leading the eye lower.

Can I see what’s underneath the sheets?

Yes, but just the barest of glimpses.

And I’d like this photo all the same if that glimpse was gone.

It’s simple and sexy and full of warm invitation, and those are all things that push my buttons.



I am, first and foremost, interested in a man’s mind.  What makes him tick?  How does he think?  What is he passionate about?  How articulate is he?  Does he communicate his thoughts and feelings?  Is he willing to explore things beyond the surface?

For me, intellectual connection is key.  I have zero interest in a man physically if he cannot connect with me in some way.  Once that connection is established…

I am turned on by the depth of his compassion, the breadth of his humor, the genuineness of his humility, the fierceness of his spirit, the fragility of his humanity, the rawness of his honesty, the wholeness of his being.

After that:  The sky is the limit.


Ah, you are thinking.  But we are not talking about THE SKY, Feve.

Yes, I know.

We are talking about physical traits, yes?  So let’s talk!

I find it fascinating that some people have go-to physical characteristics that turn them on no matter who, no matter what.  Regardless of my propensity for examining men’s hands (hands tell stories; they say SO MUCH without a word being spoken – someday I will write more on this topic), I’m not really a One Size Fits All kind of person when it comes to what attracts me.

Sometimes it is the creases that outline his smile, or the crinkles at the corners of his eyes.  Other times it is an unconscious gesture or self-conscious expression, a relaxed pose or bursting-to-tell-me-something tension.  It can be the V of his back, the nape of his neck, the crook of his shoulder, the spark in his eye, or the countour of his jaw.

My ex had fantastic calves and lovable love handles.  With my spouse, it’s the light behind his seven hundred kinds of smiles that draws me in. It’s the way his glasses sit constantly crooked and smudged on the bridge of his nose and the spattering of freckles that peek out at me from the most unexpected of places.

A long-ago lover had kissable cheeks. Another had a dip below his adam’s apple that pulled me in every time.

My current paramour has sensuous lips, a former partner had a red-soft beard, that guy I met in Vegas had a killer wink, and my one-time threesome partner had a beautiful full round belly.

It is always a different thing for each person, but there is always *some* thing about my lover(s) will absolutely make me melt.  And whatever that something is…

THAT is sexy.


His penis?


:: shrug ::

Oh, don’t get me wrong:  I like that particular anatomical anomaly.   And if I’m interested in you – if I’m interested in other parts of you – I’ll get to that.


Or watch you get to it.  With pleasure.

But I think that the supposed importance of the penis is, overall, over-emphasized (over-inflated?), and for me…

Well, let’s just say it’s not my sole focus.

Not even remotely.

I’m more of a full-package (double entendre unintentional) kind of woman.

[HINT:  Many of us are.]

So next time you’re contemplating what ‘sexy’ means…

I encourage you to zoom out, refocus your lens, and take in the view from a not-so-cock-y angle.  🙂


Do you have a favorite physical trait in yourself or in your partners?

What does ‘sexy’ mean to you?


NOTE:  Special thanks to the photographers and models who agreed to participate in this post.  All images used with permission.  Original creators retain all rights.

17 thoughts on “Defining SEXY: The Male Body Beautiful

  1. Wriggly Kitty

    This articulates SO DAMN MUCH of what I think. It’s all about connection – without that, I cannot fancy someone or think them sexy. They have to arouse me mentally for me to even think of them in a sexy way.

    GREAT post, thank you! (And I might also have a thing for hands…)
    Wriggly Kitty recently posted…TMI Tuesday: Sexy TimeMy Profile

  2. Elliott Henry

    The age old question… what makes sexy. I enjoyed your take. For me, the sexiest image on this page is wearing sunglasses. Of the ones you use, the guy in jeans would be the sexiest, due, as you pointed out, to what is not showing and is implied. Of course I love seeing women naked, but that is not what makes sexy for me, it’s something extra that draws like a magnet for some reason… I don’t know what it is.
    Elliott Henry recently posted…The Wartenberg WheelMy Profile

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Implication is very sexy to me. It’s a metaphorical “Can you imagine…?” wink and a smile.

      I understand what you mean about the ‘something extra’ – nudity alone *can* be sexy, but without that extra something…

      Not always.

      {I tend to have a very casual attitude about nudity though, which is a post for another day.}

  3. Ret MP

    Hands down, HANDS are sexy. (we’ve discussed this) I have a favorite picture of my man enabling a crowd, carrying two shots of Jaeger and the way his fingertips are gripping the shot glasses, oh…sigh…
    Veiny forearms.
    I used to turn my head for men of size (not cock-size) but of bulk, and heft, and beef and brawn. Then when attempting to engage the brain, I found banter, and laughter and good, warmth and kindness and confidence added a light that quite honestly just made those muscles more defined.
    But my favorite lover, my preferred lover, my current and wonderful lover is lean, built for speed, with calves that are sinewy, narrow. Surprised me.
    but best— the curve of the ass, yes. I don’t know how to describe it. How do they keep them that way!??? I mean, really.
    DICKs? Ummm….I guess they are ok. I think the ball package is what makes or breaks a good looking cock…i like the boys positioned up tight and manscaped for maximum mouth play.
    Ret MP recently posted…Created from thenMy Profile

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Gripping shot glasses… *smile*

      My husband has beautiful lean forearms and long strong musician’s fingers extending from capable dextrous hands, and just… UNF. Heh. One of my favorite photos of him: holding the cat. All of those features, combined with the gentleness of furry lovins? Yes please!

      So I totally ‘get’ the sexiness that can be found in something so ordinary. 🙂

      And all the YES to the curve of the ass! How DO they keep them that way?


  4. Molly

    First of all I am honoured that you liked my image and that it captured that suggestiveness. I completely agree with you about that and also the other images you have posted here.

    Like you, my answer to that question would probably be, ‘something about him’. As in it is different with different men, it might be the twinkle in his eye, the shape of his shoulders and the way he makes me laugh. How he looks at me when we talk, the way his jeans fit perfectly around his bulge, the soft hair on his arms, the glimpse of chest hair that contains a whisp of silver grey….. I could go on but you get the idea I am sure.

    As for his cock, well I like those too, a lot, but mainly because they are attached to a person I am attracted to for so many other fabulous reasons.

    Molly recently posted…All AccessMy Profile

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I think when I first saw that image, I was – quite literally – speechless. Like, glassy-eyed and slack-jawed and incapable of getting anything out of my mouth but drool. 😉

      It really is a gorgeous image, and I appreciate your willingness to let me use it. You’re a talented photographer.

      I absolutely agree with you about all those different “somethings” – I tend to be a broadscope/big-picture person, but big pictures are comprised of thousands of tiny details and I have a deep appreciation for each and every one.

      And the chest hair… YES. My husband has barely-there silver showing through at his temples, but his chest hair has turned completely over the course of our relationship. There is something sweetly endearing about that. 🙂

  5. Indigo Byrd

    Oh yes! I loved this article so much! And the stunning pics… Like many of the others the curve of the ass is a definite turn on for me. And the sweet spot at the neck. Eyes, lips, the fall of hair; and absolutely, hands and the desire to slide your hands up arms, chest and back…
    Cocks, not so much. Although I did once have a younger lover who had a really beautiful cock…

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      It’s funny to me – not in a haha! way but in a *puzzled brow* kind of way – how cock-centric the male species can be. When I think about what’s beautiful on a man’s body, that particular feature is usually the last thing that comes to mind! (Not that they can’t be beautiful, of course; some are quite gorgeous, as you point out…)

      Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. 🙂

  6. SkinShallows

    All the all of this (OK, ALMOST all ;).

    * back and sides of the neck, its nape and the top part of the upper back
    * whole back, especially in certain views
    * clavicles and the sternoclavicular joint and the hollow just above it
    * hands (specifically fingers and even more specifically inner surfaces of wrists and forearms)
    * lips/mouth, especially their corners
    * line of the cheek/jaw
    …all of these are VISUALLY attractive for me (though I can’t imagine any being a dealbreaker) because they invoke and evoke the way they feel when touched, kissed, tormented or otherwise played with.

    A pretty cock is a bonus, but so far down the list that I can’t even imagine it making it on a top 20.

    SkinShallows recently posted…Let’s goMy Profile

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Mmmm, inner surfaces… YUM.

      Clavicles – yes! Thank you for pointing that out. (And doesn’t ‘clavicle’ sound like a fun, funky musical instrument? Rather like ‘xylophone’ or ‘ukelele’… *laugh*)

      You’ve made a wonderful set of observations. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

  7. Austin

    Dear Mrs Fever –

    What an amazing website you have!! I found your website looking for a story such as this one that I both want to and do not want to share with my wife.

    But your blog has so many sexy but also intelligent & humorous links! While I don’t know what my wife will think of the link above, she’ll love this one Only that it wuld be cats or kids in our household.

    Kudos to you,

  8. Pingback: My blogging year – The Zen Nudist

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