Thick

This post brought to you by Dictionary.com, Jif, and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  (If that doesn’t warn you about what you’re getting into, nothing will.  Proceed at your own risk.)

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According to my husband, I am cherubic.

I like the idea of being a cherub, because anyone who’s ever looked at an artist’s depiction of those winged little devils (erm…angels…) can easily ascertain that a cherub is mischievous (in a good-natured way…maybe…), naked (clothes?  what clothes?), and ~ regardless of the fact that their muscles are protected by a layer of baby fat ~ strong.  I can relate.  (The strong part is particularly obvious when I’m being both naked and michievous at the same time.  As in, I have really strong PC muscles.  *Grin*)

So to the Mister’s way of thinking, I’m a cherub.  I like this description.  It works for me.

However, throughout my life, other people (read:  males) have referred to me as thick.

No, not fat.  (Trust me:  You do NOT want to go there.)  Thick.

I realize a cherub might be described as thick, but in terms of descriptions, I generally prefer the former to the latter, thankyouverymuch.

That is, I preferred the former to the latter until approximately 8:35 this morning.  At which time I had an epiphany.

Yes, that’s right.  An epiphany.

• Epiphany:  sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience

Let’s just ignore the ‘homely’ part, okay people?

And what, you are wondering, caused this epiphany, Feve?

Aaaaannnnd the answer is…

Fog.

Yes, you read it correctly the first time.

Fog.

F-o-g.

I embraced the term thick (at approximately 8:35am local time this morning) due to a sudden, intuitive insight gained while driving through fog.

Confused?

No worries.  All will be revealed.

I embraced the term thick while driving through fog, and I have the classic Christmas special, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, to thank for it.

Uncross your eyes, people.  I told you I would explain.  Here goes:

You see, the fog was thick (a-ha!) this morning.  And while I was sitting in the parking lot (also known as the freeway) on my way to work, I was reminded of an exchange between Herbie (the elf) and Yukon Cornelius (ummm…the Yukon Cornelius) when they get lost in the fog.

Yukon:  Fog’s as thick as peanut butter.

Herbie:  Erm…  Don’t you mean pea soup?

Yukon:  You eat what you like, and I’ll eat what I like!

So I was driving through the fog, replaying that insightful exchange in my brain…  And just like that (insert finger snap here), I embraced the term thick.  Because I totally dig the idea of being thick like peanut butter.  Yes, peanut butter is thick.  Peanut butter is also creamy.  It’s decadent.  It’s flavor explodes on your tongue.  It’s yummy.  It’s delicious with breakfast (hellloooo, toast!) and enticing with dessert (mmmm, chocolate!).  It’s tasty goodness is a welcome treat any time of day.  Or night.  And it’s thick.

Like me.

You eat what you like, and I’ll eat what I like.

Please note:  I like to be eaten.

(Insert contemplative pause here for the purpose of entertaining naughty thoughts.)

So, yeah, I’m a cherub.  And I’m thick.

THICK.

Like peanut butter.  😉

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And now I want a snack…