Lest the title NOT tell you everything you could possibly want to know: It is possible — probable, even, given this morning’s oddness — that I am sinking my teeth into a suppressed fetish.
Picture:
3:47am.
I’ve been awake for over an hour (and will remain awake despite my efforts to masturbatorily lull myself back to sleep).
I think, “I should try having an orgasm.”
And so I kick my covers about a bit so I can sprawl without suffocation but still be cozy while I shove my hand down my PJ pants (Grinch pajamas, in case you’re wondering; fuzzy Grinch pants) attempt to apply my fingers to the task.
And what to my wondering wandering mind should appear, but visions of…
Toothbrushes.
Oh dear.
*laugh*
So basically I thought, “I’ll jill off to try to get back to sleep” and in the process ended up thinking of brushing my teeth.
Like, I can’t believe I am awake and I have not brushed my teeth yet.
(I typically brush my teeth when I get out of bed, even if it’s just to pee. I can’t stand morning mouth.)
And then, I wonder if I should get a Waterpik.
And of course — of course — the masturbatory exercise was going NOWHERE. Not with fantastical scenarios of dental hygiene galumphing through my imagination.
And so I pulled my thoughts in other directions. (And when I say ‘pulled’ I mean ‘yanked like I was playing tug-o-war.) I tried colors. I tried thinking of nothing. Blankness.
Which was a bomb, because that blankness was longing to be filled. With teeth.
I attempted to dredge a sexy memory. To think a sexy thought.
Only to be met by my mind with, Perhaps you should shave your legs this morning. After you brush your teeth.
GAH!
Now, it took some doing — and some memory-fantasy interspersed with screech-braking the mental meanderings and a bit of, oh yeah, there *is* THAT — but I *did* eventually get there, ifyouknowwhatImean.
But egads.
TEETH.
Note to Self: Maybe an electric toothbrush has a dual purpose…
I thought you were going to share about lusting after your dentist, however that may have wishful thinking!
I hate when the mind wanders off to entirely unsexy subjects (not that teeth are unsexy, at least not for me but then I do have a desire for dentists and rubber clad fingers exploring) My brain tends to start writing lists for things to do once I’ve finished. Which means I don’t… Finish. Or if I do the list gets forgotten. Either way, it never even stands a chance!
I’m glad I’m not the only one! *laugh*
I had to laugh. My wife too will often jill off just to go to sleep. She told me last week while taking a nap (unsuccessful) that she tried to jill off to go to sleep. I wondered if she too may have thought of tooth brushes. I have been known to jack off for the same sleepless reasons, so you are certainly not alone in your efforts to get a good nights sleep. Nothing worse than not getting it up for your own pleasure or in the case of girls is it still considered getting it up?
“Waking it up” maybe? *laugh*
Glad to know others use masturbation as a form of sleep therapy as well. 😉
Hey, whatever strums your floss. 😉
Heh. *toothy grin*
….or the water-pik as possible tool?
The brain is an interesting construct.
Oooh, good suggestion!