John Mayer should stop making crappy breathy music and thinking that he’s God’s gift to celebrity women. All that rasping into the microphone makes him sound like he’s choking on a chicken bone (though it’s entirely possible he’s actually chokin’ the chicken; leave it to an egotistical misogynistic artiste to masturbate in the middle of a studio session), and listening to a real-time regurgitation recording kinda puts me off my feed. Then again, Taylor Swift puts me off my feed too. It’s no wonder they dated.
But I digress.
As does Mr. Mayer. Only he does it in song form and doesn’t bother to enunciate his thoughts. Case in point: Har-bray Whoa-faaa. Which is, of course, supposed to be pronounced ‘Heartbreak Warfare’. Whatever the hell that is.
As for being God’s gift to celebrity women? John Mayer, meet Jonathan Schaech: 
Mr. Schaech is one gift from God I’d like to open.
Any questions?
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In case you’re wondering from whence this diatribe originated… This post was written in response to trailertrashdeluxe’s challenge (which was a fabulous excuse for me to post this Playgirl-worthy pose), because he’d rather be having dreams about flying around and having sex with co-workers than composing opening lines of poetry in his sleep. I can relate.
John Mayer makes funny faces when he sings, but I do like his music.
Makes me wonder what kind of faces he makes when he’s engaged in other activities…
Ha! He is what I call ugly cute. He is cute, no doubt. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being ugly cute. I think Anna Paquin is ugly cute and she is smokin hot.
I see. Kind of like Animal on the Muppet Show. Ugly. But in a cute sort of way.
Animal is more cute in the short bus kind of way.
Terrible of me to say, I know. Short bus Muppets need loving too.
I never really thought about the length of Animal’s bus.
http://youtu.be/tgbNymZ7vqY
FF to 1:10
Okay, I want to watch that video ALL day, EVERY day! Haaa-ha-ha-ha-ha! That RULES.
The only thing missing was Statler and Waldorf.
Thanks for sharing. You put a HUGE smile on my face. 😀
I am really glad you liked it. I was worried my humor might have been a little too off.
Statler and Waldorf were two of my favorites too.
I don’t know how to embed videos, but I went snooping around on youtube and found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isMFxOLbiro&feature=player_detailpage
Piggy Got Back! Lol. The Mister and I are a bit like Kermie and Miss Piggy, so I found this particularly amusing.
Very funny.
I should really learn how to embed things too! It sounds like fun, and it is truly amazing what you can find on youtube. I was an adult when I saw the Muppet Show, PeeWee, and Ernest, they’re entertaining when you’ve got a good buzz going. I worked third shift and would come home after work, have a couple of drinks and veg in front of the tv, this was before I had any kids.
Well, I know how to *embed* some things, Wild. But mostly those ‘things’ are attached to men. 😛
I love the Muppets! 😀 Most of my relationships can be explained by drawing comparisons between my friends/enemies/lovers/co-workers/family members, etc. and Jim Henson’s characters.
Charlie Brown’s crew, too.
And, as a side note: I love the way Marci calls Peppermint Patty ‘Sir’. 😛