As written by Nate…
…in response to the Frompt.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Seduction is a game,” LSTAT said without any emotion.
“A game?” I asked.
“Yes, a game that everyone plays. The winner of the game is the one who gets what they want,” I noticed LSTAT eyeing my neck.
Perhaps I should start at the beginning. Mrs. Fever asked me if I would like to write about seduction. I said yes without hesitation. Then I realized that I did not know that much about seduction. I knew what I thought was seductive to me, but not what seduction was. I did however know of a group that was all about seduction, vampires. Getting an interview with a vampire was easy enough, thank you Craig’s List where I go to get all of my used couches.
LSTAT arrived at our arranged meeting place five minutes early, pale faced, predator like eye, wearing an all-black outfit that would have been fashionable in a Goth club 10 years ago. I couldn’t help but smile at the mental image of him shopping at Hot Topic. As I expected LSTAT looked youthful, but something seemed off, like seeing a woman whose face looked flawless at a distance, but up close you can see the layers of pancake makeup.
He sat down, fiddled with the silverware, checked the water glass and then looked intensely at me.
“I suppose you want to know about my past,” he began with a husky tone.
“Not really,” I said while flipping my green note book covered in stickers open.
“Really?”
“Yes, I’m not interested in that right now.”
“Then what do you want to know?”
“I want to know about seduction,” I said wondering if that anarchy pin on his shirt was anything other than an attempt at irony.
“Seduction?”
“Yeah, you folks,” I said gesturing at him, “are supposed to be seductive. A friend of mine wanted my thoughts on seduction and other than seducing women to get laid I don’t have much to offer. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want a “how to” according to me.”
“You folks,” LSTAT spoke dripping with disdain.
“Yeah vampires, pale folk, sparkly…”
“Hold on right there! There are NO sparkly vampires! None. Never have been and never will be,” he interrupted harshly.
“My apologies, but that representation of vampires is the current rage,” holding up my hands and shrugging my shoulders I attempted to convey sorry and I don’t get it in one motion.
“If anything that representation should prove to you folks,” he smirked gesturing at me, “that vampires don’t exist. Because if vampires were real I would imagine that her nonsense would have been put to a sudden and violent end before being published.”
“Yet here we are.”
“Yes, here we are.”
“So what is so seductive about vampires?” I asked.
“We are timeless.”
“You mean old.”
“No timeless. We do not age, our youth appeals to you. Wouldn’t you like to be eternally young?”
“Not really, but I can imagine that appeal to many. Carry on.”
“We are worldly and cultured.”
[cough] “Hot Topic.” [cough] as I reached for the glass of water nearest to me.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yes, go on.”
“Worldly for you tends to translate into mysterious and exotic which appeals to you. Cultured makes me seem smarter, wiser, and more experienced which again appeals to you. Being several hundred years old is a lot of advantage when attempting to seduce one of you.”
“What about your magic eyes?” I asked glancing at his predator like eyes.
“What? Oh you mean the seductive gaze. Nothing magical about that. People like when you pay attention to them. Look them in the eyes. Pay attention to their body language. These are just contacts.”
At this point the waitress was glaring daggers at us and we decided to place our order.
TBC
This made me grin, Nate. It’s just so… YOU. 😀
Re: “I said yes without hesitation.”
You did. And I thank you for that. *blows kisses*
Re: “I knew what I thought was seductive to me…..”
And what, exactly, *is* seductive to you? Words, actions, attitudes, behaviors, flirtations… ??? I’m genuinely curious about your take on this, my Monkey friend.
That is a big question. What is seductive to me…being good with words, confidence, being yourself, and humor. Traditional “seductive” behavior such as flirtation, liking lips, etc just doesn’t work for me. I will chalk that up to being a Scorpio and not trusting most people’s motives so obvious seduction moves comes across as false or disingenuous to me. Plus most of the women who tried to seduce me using the traditional moves were not very good which made it awkward or funny to me.
Woman licking her lips “seductively”.
Me, “Is something wrong with your lip?”
What is seductive to me…being good with words, confidence, being yourself, and humor.
YES! And ~ for me ~ intelligence. Not ‘I have 47 college degrees’ kind of intelligence (though that’s okay too), but rather… Social intelligence, sexual intelligence, curiosity… A person who seeks to understand, who combines humor and intellect… A person who gives “good head” (as has been previously discussed)…
A person who who has all of those qualities… *That* is a person who sparks my interest.
Add in a healthy dose of acceptance (of self and of others), stir in some self-awareness, a teaspoon full of carpe diem and a dash of joi de vivre…
And I’m a hot, wet mess.
I’m also a sucker for gestures. Not ones that are play-acted (totally snort-laughing about your ‘Is something wrong with your lip?’), but those little “-isms” that are a natural part of a person’s make-up. How they muss their hair when they are in “thinking mode” or how they add a little noise at the end of a sentence for additional verbal punctuation, or how they bite their lip when they are trying to catch a fleeting thought. Such little things, really. But uniquely endearing.
Count this as my take on it as well. And the response comment too – which normally results in one rather pissed off Woman.
But, that’s part of the test as well, eh? If they don’t get that kinda humor/response, chances are they’re missing the other important – no, critical – factors that would be seductive. To me.
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OHHHH it issssoooooo Monkey! 🙂
I read this yesterday sitting in an exam room waiting for my Doc to pop in….he popped in about the time I got to the end of this and he asked me what I was reading that had me grinning like crazy. Needless to say I couldn’t exactly tell him WHAT had me grinning so big…so I said
“Someone I know just spoofed the whole vampire genre…. but good.”
He laughed and said
“Thank goodness I’m not the only one who sees the lampoon opportunities in the silly sparkly creatures, if these people knew the account of Vald the Impaler, these silly people, they might not think so highly of this (*waving hand through the air here*) this infatuation of the bloody death.”
What makes this even more awesome…my doc looks and sounds like Mikhail Baryshnikov…the Russian accent made it sound soooooo…. “astutely observant” droll and sexy…damn sexy.
BUT….. this is me with my “hot damn” breakers tripped…….and maybe ya had to be there….and I digress.
(Lady Fever does tangents…I do digressions *eyes crossing here*)
This reply will be on the same track Ganien….genuine humor—perspective aware ….IS SEDUCTIVE!
“Perspective aware” humor takes some “self-earned education”. The satirical humor here is sssoooo perspective aware!
Lady Feve pretty much nailed me……..uhhh :p
I mean…..my Jello to the wall with her illumination of how seductive intellect is…and not the “B.S.-PhD” (bull shit—piled higher and deeper) type intellect.
The down to earth “smart stuff”… ….as in:
“I am aware…..pay attention to what goes on around me and I learn from what I see” intellect. That’s where “perspective aware” humor comes from.
Add this:
Quote from Lady Feve’s reply:
I’m also a sucker for gestures. Not ones that are play-acted (totally snort-laughing about your ‘Is something wrong with your lip?’), but those little “-isms” that are a natural part of a person’s make-up. How they muss their hair when they are in “thinking mode” or how they add a little noise at the end of a sentence for additional verbal punctuation, or how they bite their lip when they are trying to catch a fleeting thought. Such little things, really. But uniquely endearing.
_____________
HA….add all this “natural make-up isims”…….and all that’s left to do is get the butter….cuz I AM TOAST!
Gimme a guy who can think “outside the box” when is trying to get into the box. 😉
You totally should have shared this with your doc maybe put a smile on his face. Vlad the Impaler good reference for those historically inclined or watch a lot of No Reservations…got to get that food in there. 🙂
I am a big fan of intelligence and people who can make me think, ponder, or wonder. I do make gestures, ask Barb about how I wooed her with gestures…not those that came later. Gestures made my way generally are viewed through the eyes of a Scorpio…”What do you want from me by giving me this?” or “Did I forget an important event?”
One day I will get some jello, a hammer, a nail, a friend or three and the camera together to show that jello can be nailed to a wall. 🙂
Monkey… If you have a friend or three, a camera, and Jell-O, you can forget the hammer. There’ll be a whole different kind of nailin’ goin’ on. 😉
Just sayin’. 😛
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