You should protect yourself more. Someone is going to take your goodness, that compassion, and they’re going to hurt you. They’re going to shred you, make a mockery out of your trust and kindness, and they will walk away without a single drop of guilt or shame, and leave you bleeding.
~ Erin McCarthy
Yeah, maybe I should protect myself more BUT, I guess it’s my fault for trusting and believing in the goodness of people, that I leave myself wide open….
I had a fortune cookie the other day that said my wisdom would save me from being hurt. I suppose in some ways that’s true for most people. You gain wisdom through experience though, and experience can be painful.
I believe in the goodness of people ~ or, more specifically, of my people ~ but you can still be hurt by a good person. Often, the ones who do the most damage are the ones we love; we get cut, and deeply, because we trust them not to hurt us. I think a lot of times people in relationships hurt each other without meaning to. But even the most unintentional wounds bleed.
Don’t I know it. 🙁
One of the common themes of Life.
I have thought about this so much. The thing is – I think about it AFTER I’m “hurt” by something someone said. The fact is, I can’t live that way except for the things I see I should be aware of because of some common sense. If you protect yourself while you live, it’s like wearing armor and trying to dance. You can do it but it won’t be as nice. Honestly, I just DON’T start anything if I’m that cautious. One started – I just think I have to live with the consequences because that is the price of that ticket to the precipice.
Interesting your should mention the precipice. I waited to respond to your comment until I could get to my computer, because I posted a quote last year about that very concept. And it’s relevant to this discussion, I think.
I’m amused by the image your analogy presents. A knight usually takes his armor off for dancing. 😉
You said, “…I can’t live that way except for the things I see I should be aware of because of some common sense.”
And yet, so often, people jump off emotional cliffs with blindfolds on because when we’re in love (or something like it), it can be damn hard to see the things we should be aware of, eh.
Only a knight who believes he won’t need his armor which is either smart because he knows he can’t get hurt ok or he’s a slave to the desires themselves. Maybe s/he’s a knight who who knows the risk but knows that dancing with armor is clunky, bothersome and just a plain hinderance to enjoying the dance itself. At some point, you have to throw it away – maybe just most of it. I keep the hat and the sword somewhere near. Seriously, part of the truth in experiencing anything with another is the actual allowance to feel that emotional freedom in giving and receiving. That single or many moments of pure allowance to have someone touch your tender heart and you touch theirs is the drug of everyone’s choice. I don’t care what anybody says or denies. It’s either sexual or emotional or both – both when we’re really wild and careless because the gain is simply a taste of nirvana. Believing and feeling that you are on that precipice, loving and being loved is what drives people who have been there and want more. At least that’s what I think the reason is to why we try again and again, against the odds, against good judgement, against societies rules and sometimes against our own personal morals to find one more of those people to connect to. Shit, what other reason would there be to suffer that kind of pain for? xo, J
Slave to desire, with a sword at hand… Tender heart nirvana… Against all rules, all odds, and all sense, we seek connections… To suffer pain… Because that is the price we pay for being slaves to our desires…
And around and around we go.
What other reason, indeed?
Maybe we are masochists. 😉
I fight too many demons to be without armor for long. But when I’m dancing, I do it naked. Sometimes the battle vestments need to spend some time in the closet. Except for my chainmail earrings (yes, I really have a pair of chainmail earrings): Those make awesome nude dancing accessories. 🙂
always remember, I never claim to have the truth nor the answers. I do have a little trouble remembering where I keep my helmet and sword when the dance gets really good… because when it’s really good, I don’t need anything and THAT is the Nirvana I seek and seek again but it comes in waves because we’re human. It can never be constant unless I devote my life to being a monk. There’s no chance of that. I laughed at your picture of what I said to you. Yeah, I’m jacked up at times about this loving activity because it’s not simple. You know that already. Another thing you must know is when someone is worth dropping the armor for. Unfortunately the other person may have their own armor to deal with. At least you got as far as knowing about accessories because some people don’t get that far. …and round and round we go. I don’t think we’re masochists. xo, J
This concerns me. I hope that isn’t a reality for all, because I don’t like the idea of being ripped apart.
We all protect ourselves, to varying degrees. We start learning how to protect ourselves as soon as we learn how it feels to hurt.
But everyone has a vulnerable spot. Or two. Or 57. Yes, there are those who would exploit that vulnerability intentionally. But as I said in response to Joel’s comment (above), quite often the ones who hurt us the most are the ones we are closest to; they are the only ones with enough power to do so.
Opening yourself up enough to let someone in, yet protecting yourself against harm once they are in…
It’s a fine line to walk.