FANTASY

Fantasy, in a dreaming-up-scenarios / mentally-running-away-to-lala-land kind of way, is a skill in which I would be voted Least Likely To Succeed.  Perhaps it is a spill-over of my overly pragmatic approach to life:  I don’t engage in unrealistic “If I win the lottery…” discussions, I don’t create unreal scenarios into which I imaginarily insert myself**, and I never ever wish to be – or pretend to be – anybody else but who I am.

**as model-perfect, as superhero, as Empress of the World, etc.
(Okay, maybe the Empress thing. But rarely.)

Perhaps it is because ‘normal’ childhood development activities like playing Dress-Up and Make-Believe became, due to my younger sibling’s mental health issues with confused reality, tedious exercises in continuously disentangling fact from fiction.

Perhaps it is because my (no doubt well-intentioned) mother instilled a strong There Is No Magic Here work ethic in me.  From a very early age I knew that anything I wanted, I had to make a plan for and work toward; nothing imagines itself into being.

Maybe it’s because, in my romantic relationships, I have spent a significant amount of time getting my partners to face the reality of F/m-style D/s and Femdom, as it exists outside their fantastical headspace (i.e., getting them to join the Real World™), which makes me reluctant to delve back into Imagination Land either due to {a} fear of negative consequences/relapse, or {b} just plain emotional exhaustion.

Whatever the reason{s}, ‘typical’ fantasy (meaning: mental/visual imaginary scenarios involving sentient beings and/or an amalgam of said beings’ requisite body parts) is just not my thing.

HOWEVER

That’s not to say I don’t have thoughts/feelings/ideas where fantasy is concerned.  Opinions, have I.  (Go ahead and say that in your best Yoda voice.  I know you want to.  😉 )  Imagination too.  In abundance.

So maybe it’s not so much that I don’t ‘do’ fantasy, as that… well… I just do it differently.  (That link takes to you a guest post I wrote about sensory fantasy for Girl On The Net in January.  Clickety-click for fantasy, Fever style.)

THEREFORE

In the spirit of sharing, the following are five fantastic examples of other people’s fantasies — also done differently.

ONE:  Doing It Differently With Sex Tech

Tabitha Rayne – writer, photographer, and sex toy inventor – posted an illustration a couple months ago, showing what Thinking Outside The Box (or perhaps “thinking outside the zipper” would be more accurate) could look like in terms of sex tech.

Tabitha’s Non-Humanoid Sex Robot Prototype (image used with permission)

Many sex toys are of a genital-replica design, and the current technology being applied to full-body automation in sex robots is distinctly humanoid in construction.  That does not have to be the case, however.  The possibilities are limitless!

Perhaps if a bit more imagination – dare I say, more fantasy – was utilized in the creation of sex tech, more people would be on board with it.

TWO:  A Fantasy I Can Get Behind

I don’t delve very often into fiction in my own writing, partly due to the “I don’t do fantasy” reasons listed above, but also because in order for me to wrap my head around something in the context of a play-it-out fantasy, it has to be feasible (to some degree) in real life.  This F/m/f fantasy by Ms Killjoy, in which she and her boy play erotically torturous humiliation games with their fuck doll, works for me for exactly that reason.

Now she’s a fucking mess. Hair a fluffy cloud around her face, trying desperately to pant with her mouth blocked, mascara streaked down her cheeks. I know she buys shitty mascara just for this purpose, to play up the image of ruined plaything. I like it. I don’t start taking pictures until that point, save the one I took at the beginning. It shows that I started with a prim little doll and fucked her up.

Because I can see this playing out for me with a singeing level of hotness, within an existing dynamic, it is a fantasy I can get behind.  Preferably with a whip in hand.  😉

THREE:  Fantasy Gone Wrong

One of the (seemingly many) issues I have with sex fantasy in general is that, at some point, there is a decision made about whether or not to turn the fantasy into reality, and all too often, the ramifications of that decision are detrimental — if not downright disastrous.

One of the fantasies that too few authors look at with an eye to the consequences caused by their manifestation in – story-writing – is consensual non-consent (CNC).  Sometimes referred to as ‘rape play’ (I strongly dislike this term) or ‘forced sex’ roleplay, this type of fantasy is all about power – and the negotiated lack thereof – in sexual interaction.  The key, with CNC, is that it’s not actually about loss of power; it’s not actually ‘assault’ (another term I dislike immensely) . . . because the interaction has, essentially, been pre-authorized.

I do not play this way.  (It is a hard limit for me.)

Some people do —

and that is FINE;
whatever is negotiated between consenting adults is between them,
and just because it’s not my kink does NOT make it wrong
(YKINMKBYKIOK***)

— and sometimes it works.

Sometimes though…

It doesn’t.

Sometimes “No” and “Stop” need to be adhered to even when those defenses have been stripped away by previous agreement.  In the event those words go unheeded or misconstrued, CNC fantasy-made-reality has the potential to become true trauma.

I absolutely applaud Marie Rebelle for putting that possibility out there in this CNC story.  (Consider the section above to be a trigger warning.  It’s a great piece of writing, but please don’t click if it’s going to be emotionally problematic for you.)

***Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is OK

FOUR:  To what lengths would you go?

This next piece, by Brigit Delaney, is…  Different.

Brigit’s story The Wife Coach begins thus:

When the paged popped up for Jaime to type her ad, she took a drink of her coffee and titled her ad:

“Married woman seeks man to help her become a better wife.”

In the text box below that, she typed her message:

“I’ve been married over ten years. Somewhere along the way, the spark was lost. I’ve read and researched myself right into a corner, but nothing I’ve found has really worked. These Cosmo Magazine lists and “what your man really wants” books aren’t realistic and aren’t working. I need help that is tailored just for me, from a man who knows what men want. What I need most are actionable directives that I can carry out on a daily basis. I need direction. I need to be told what to do. If you’re the man to do it, please contact me.”

Brigit shares in the post-script to Part One (this is a multi-part story, still developing) that the idea for The Wife Coach came from her own real-life struggles in her marriage.

Different issue, but just as the CNC example above…

Problematic?
Consequences?
Potential for trauma?

*nodnodnod*

YES.

But definitely food for thought.

FIVE:  Annnd… BATMAN!

(And Robin.)

Because, HELLO.  Sexy, much?!

I think so.

As does Oleander Plume, who wrote this gem of an M/M fantasy.

And P.S.  I just got a new Batman & Robin shirt (which displays a bat and a bird in a cartoon-esque Adam West / Burt Ward style), which is sort of beside the point, but which matches my Batpants, which makes an awesome outfit to wear while reading said superhero sexiness.  WIN!

(Perhaps I will post a photo…)

NOW:  Your turn!

Do you relate to any of these flights of fancy?
What kinds of fantasies work for you?