Have you ever had your bladder hijack your clitoris and run away with your orgasm?

No? Just me then…

.

.

.

So, yeah. The other night I couldn’t sleep. I was exhausted – like, slightly headache-y and sick to my stomach kind of tired, from being up too early for a 14-hr work day with not enough sleep the night before and too much caffeine in between – but for whatever reason… Nope. Sleep was not coming.

Well, sometimes when sleep won’t come, the best thing to do is to just come. Because then I can go to sleep. (Or come to sleep, as it were.)

Now… I go pee every night before bed, right? Which doesn’t stop me from getting up once or twice to pee some more as the night wears on, being as I have a bladder the size of a lentil. But still. I make sure I pee before I go to bed. And on the night in question, I had just peed like… I dunno… an hour(?) or maybe two before I decided to give up on the not-sleeping business and take matters into my own hands. (Or hand. Singular. Fun Fact: I’m typically a one-handed masturbationist.) But for some inexplicable reason, my fantasy brain (and to be clear, I’m really pretty much just BAD at fantasy; it’s not my thing AT ALL, which makes this whole episode even weirder for me than it would be otherwise) was like:

Watersports, yo.

And I was like, “…wha…?”

Just go with it.

And I was too tired to do otherwise, really.

Which is why, as I was doing that whole press/rub/swirl thing with my middle finger against my clit, I went from imagining

{a} a nice sauna-type shower environment in which my spouse was kneeling in front of me (with water cascading down from above coating his shoulders — a very important detail, that) licking my puss while I leaned against the shower wall, to…

{b} the sudden and unexpected urgent somatic urgency of OhmygodIgottapee, which somehow translated in my brain as…

{c} telling fantasy-spouse to keep his mouth in place and open his throat so I could continue my pleasure and simultaneously give him something hot and warm to drink.

If you know what I mean.

And it was *this* thought that pushed me over the edge and brought me to orgasm.

Which…

It’s not [air quote] WEIRD [/end air quote] exactly. There is a certain sensation of ‘fullness’ that can enhance an orgasm when the bladder is partially filled. I’ve taken advantage of that sensation before. And I mean, I’ve certainly indulged in a bit of ‘marking my territory’. In real life though, it’s always been on skin. (It was a particularly delightful bit of foreplay to footplay once, pissing on his cock.) However, the whole drink-it-down thing has never really… I dunno, appealed(?)… to me.

But ob.vi.ous.ly I do not find it un-appealing.

I mean, I got an orgasm out of it.

And no, I did not wet the bed.

But I *did* get wet. Like, in a way I haven’t in a long long time.

SO.

That’s what’s new and strange in my world.

You?

12 thoughts on “Have you ever had your bladder hijack your clitoris and run away with your orgasm?

  1. Nora

    Our weird and wonderful orgasmic brain … one never know where it’s going to take you … hope you got a good night’s sleep ;>) … nj … xx

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I don’t mind stepping off the beaten path once in a while, but I sometimes feel like Alice when it comes to the unexpected rabbit holes my imagination tumbles through. 😉

      Reply
  2. chris

    I dunno… sometimes a badly needed bladder release is followed by an orgasmic-like warmth, within which anything would seem possible. But when I’m half-asleep, Lil Elvis is practically useless. 😀

    Reply
  3. fondles

    I can’t do fantasies in my head when I’m trying to have an orgasm. It just gets complicated and then i stop concentrating on the physical and get caught up in the novel i’m writing. i know. it’s stupid. But I’ve also totally taken advantage of the “coming” to get to sleep and the extra-sensory delights of coming with a full-ish bladder. I’m glad i’m not alone.

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I usually don’t fantasize either. It was a very strange ‘flash’ moment when I was right on the brink; it was there and it tipped me over and then it was gone. Completely unexpected and very unusual.

      And yes — sometimes an orgasm is the only hope I have for getting to sleep. I use them to ward off headaches sometimes too; the endorphin rush helps mitigate the pain. (The result, again, allowing sleep. And therefore healing.)

      Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Yes, that is definitely a downside. I have stopped mid-fuck, mid-fingering, mid-oral, mid-_________ more times than I can count, like “Gimme just a minute — be right back, gotta pee!”

      I learned the hard way when I was young that NOT giving myself that time out was detrimental to my health. I had such a bad UTI once from just pushing through the discomfort that I was peeing red. Not ‘slightly orange from a bit of blood in the urine’ but pure dark RED. And it was one of the most painful things I’ve ever dealt with.

      Reply

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