He settles in beside me, snugging his lean angles against my curves as we sip hot cocoa in front of the fireplace and bathe in the warm glow it emits. Gentle heat envelops us, warding off the chill of cold-damp that continually seeps, threatening to curl its frigid finger-hold deep inside our bones. There will be no snow tonight; instead, the ice-prick of frozen fog creeps outside our windows, threatening in its ability to obscure what would otherwise be safe, sure-footed steps through the night.
It is a perfect metaphor for our year.
Warmth sought – and found – together, hearth burning bright against uncertain night, snuggling together in comfort despite the uncertain steps we must take into the cold fog of What’s Next.
Christmas Eve, for many, is a time of anticipation. Of looking forward, of wishing for what’s to come, of excitement and too-awake buzzing awareness, of a sense of there being so.much.more, just around the corner.
For others, it is a time of looking back. Over the past year, over the course of a relationship, over a lifetime of ups and downs and dreams and disappointments and all the hopes carried forward over time, finally – or not yet – realized.
For us…
It is neither, and it is both. It is gentle teasing and reminiscent assurance and shared time, alone.
Ours.
It is looking forward to New Year’s travel plans and remembering the past year’s roads traveled. It is sharing childhood memories and remembering loved ones lost while maintaining awe of the moment and appreciation for one another being in it.
Long snippets of quiet are interspersed with even longer snippets of conversations, and the minutes that pass feel like hours, like seconds, like days.
A lifetime in a single moment, shared.
“I can’t believe,” he says reverently, curling his arm around me and smiling into my eyes, “that you’re the same girl I met all those years ago.”
“Sixteen years.”
“Sixteen. YEARS,” he repeats in wonder. “And you…” he begins, caressing my face with his gaze, searching my expression through the pause, “…you’re still the same.”
“Just a few more wrinkles now,” I say with a smile.
He quietens, tracing my laugh lines with his eyes, before responding with his I love you: “You’re beautiful.”
…and so our time together has always been.
Christmas is the time to say “I love you”
Billy Squier
Share the joys of laughter and good cheer
Christmas is the time to say “I love you”
And a feeling that will last all through the year
‘Festivities’ is a term with myriad meanings; we often interpret it as ‘fun and frolics‘ or ‘seasonal sextivities‘. But there is a place for calm in the celebratory storm that Christmas can be. And it is in that quiet place, where we can just be, that the joy of the season – for me – is (most pro-) found.
This year, our Christmas was quiet enough, but full too, in so far that we were together and enjoyed that time spent as a family.
The presents were sparse under the tree, because everyone seems to be struggling financially, but we were together, had food on our plates and love in our hearts.
And that was everything.
Wishing you the best possible year coming ahead.
Sending love your way.
Thank you, Dawn.
Time is the greatest gift, when given freely to the ones we love.
I hope 2019 brings you wonderful things. xoxo
I love reading about the very special relationship you & your husband have, the many facets of it. It’s the kind of relationship I believed.. or more accurately wished.. that I would have with mine, did Not happen. So it makes me feel good that some can actually experience that glorious connection !
Thank you, Katie. We are incredibly lucky to have found, in one another, a forever kind of friendship. It is the cornerstone of our relationship, and it’s that connection that holds us strong, together, even through the strongest gales life’s storms try to topple us with. (And also through peeling gales of laughter. 😉 )
I hope you’ve been enjoying your holidays.
All the best to you and yours in the coming year. 😊
Beautifully said, Feve !
Thanks. 🙂
Billy Squier was a bit of an odd choice, I suppose. But the sentiment matches. 😉
This was such a heartwarming read 🙂 Wishing you and yours a wonderful 2019 xxx
Thank you, Floss. And the same to you. 🙂
The way you talk about your love for your husband, the difficult times you had and might still be facing, the way you are when you are together… I recognize so much of that. Beautiful post, Feve. May 2019 bring you more light than darkness.
Rebel xox
Thank you; we try to take things as they come, but sometimes I wish some of those things would just STOP coming. I’m sure you understand what I mean.
We make our own light, no matter the darkness. But I do hope 2019 brings more solutions than problems. 🙂
Happy New Year!
I pray your future will have far more ups than downs. But knowing you have someone in your life who has your back always is a special thing! I’m fortunate to have that too and it makes all the difference! Happy New Year!
It makes all the difference. 🙂
Happy New Year!
Thanks for dropping by and sharing this. Hoping 2019 brings great things for you…
@F4TFriday recently posted…F4TFriday – 2018 In Review
Thank you. 🙂
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