So it’s like four o’clock in the morning, right?
And I’m awake (because of course I’m awake; I have a cat), so when my hubby stumbles down the hallway half-asleep, I call to him and he comes to me and we snuggle and wiggle and generally entwine in awkward-but-cozy ways and then, well…
My hands get a bit roam-y.
And he’s kinda half-asleep (but a certain part of him is WIDE awake ifyouknowwhatImean) but kinda purring and leaning into me while I pet his cock — and his cock is hard, like way harder than it’s been in a long time kind of hard, the kind of hard that is turgid and veiny and throbbing with its own swollen-ness — and then, suddenly:
Sharp intake of breath.
Gasp.
Groooaaaan…
?!?!
Neither of us realized it was going to happen right then.
He figured it out a fraction of a second too late, and I figured it out a fraction and a half after that.
Luckily, I pulled my hand away.
(Luckily, in a ‘none of his mess got on my hand’ kind of way, but also in a ‘well, at least it was kinda/sorta/partially ruined — go me! — kind of way.)
It was funny, kinda.
But it wasn’t supposed to happen.
And it was just…
Um. Well, have you ever dealt with a kid that’s eaten too much candy and then has a tummy ache?
It had *that* kind of sweetness about it.
: laugh :
And that kind of after-effect.
[insert puke-y noise here]
So I mean… What’s a girl gonna do?
.
.
.
.
.
Well, _this_ girl just gave him a little pet on his still-stiff and guilty-looking dick (it is totally possible for a cock to look abashed, I swear; it was as if the protrusion knew it had fucked up) and said, “Awwwuh! You should’ve told me your penis was sickโฆ”
He, of course, had the tense-rabbit stance of sleepily-befuddled prey waiting to be pounced on in the early morning pre-dawn dark, and wasn’t _quite_ following.
His barely-visible expression read something along the lines of: Sick? Whaaa…
So I clarified.
“I will leave your poor cock alone now,” I said, “since obviously when he gets too excited…
he throws up.”
You know that Dr Seuss book, Green Eggs And Ham? “I am Sam. Sam I am…”
Well, I’m a little late for the Food For Thought prompt about ‘one book’, but I have to say that the Sam I Am refrain has been running through my brain for several days (Dr Seuss was one of the reasons I fell in love with reading at a *very* early age — I was recognizing words at three years old) because of that prompt topic, so of course after this little… penis puke… incident, I’ve been mentally sing-songing Sick is dick. Dick is sick…
๐
(Because I’m ridiculous like that sometimes.)
So thank you, Floss and May, for the extra helping of humor that your prompt-I’m-too-late-for inspired. ๐
And thank you, Kayla, for providing a hosted place to post the story behind it. ๐
You ladies are much appreciated!
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Oh so many chuckles reading this! I too have seen a cock look totally abashed and I must admit it is something I delight in, lol! Also ‘sick is dick’ Dick is sick’ aaahhh I loved it! Too much awesome here Feve x
Floss recently posted…[Erotica] Belonging
I’m glad you got a laugh out of it — it was funny! ๐
(And I’ve been improvising rhymes about it ever since. “Pardon me, but I think I see: your sicky-sticky penis needs a Kleenex!”)
That must be a very intense petting action you have. I had a good chuckle reading this ๐
Right?! My hands should come with a precautionary statement.
WARNING: These appendages have been known to cause splooge in unsuspecting penises.
Hahahaha brilliant ๐
I really enjoyed the humour in this and the way you continued your stance into the next day ๐
My Angus hasnโt been sick in quite some time!! I owe it all to eating clean and a good exercise program. The fact that my Queen wonโt allow Angus to be sick is immaterial! ๐
Collaredmichael recently posted…A Virgin Once More
Your posts so often crack me up. You are one funny lady, and I do love the way you tell a story.
I cannot thank you enough for having introduced me to the concept of an abashed looking dick.
Well, what can I say? His penis just has personality. ๐
This made me laugh! I now have this look of a guilty cock in my mind ๐
Rebel xox
Late night — anything can happen !
Indeed.
‘Can’ and will. ๐
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hilarious (says the person who didn’t have it happen to me)!