Ten Years On: Reflections on a Decade of Blogging

      26 Comments on Ten Years On: Reflections on a Decade of Blogging

If anyone had told me ten years ago, when I wrote my first blog post, that I’d still be blogging today, I don’t think I would have believed them.

But what started as a whim (on a platform I left quickly after beginning) became a WordPress blog (which introduced censorship in a big way, causing me to leave that platform as well) and then became… this.

From its beginnings, it hasn’t been terribly defined. (Or refined, for that matter. *laugh*)

And even though this space has long been slapped with the ‘sex blog’ label… I can’t say that I really feel like a Sex Blogger. (Whatever that even means.)

But I *do* feel like an Established Blogger.

And along the road to becoming Established, here are a few things I’ve learned (in no particular order):

Blog the Way YOU Want to Blog

Along the way I’ve had people tell me — often in an unsolicited-advice kind of way — what I “should” be doing. I “should” explore submission in my writing more (the fuck?!), I “should” have a Twitter account, I “should” just stick to writing about sex (because obviously I’m NOT a multi-faceted human being), I “should” be on Fetlife, I “should,” I “should,” I SHOULD.

Well, how about: NO.

While I used to be sort of switchy in a once-in-a-decade kind of way, let’s just say… I had a relationship that opened that part of me up and then stomped it to death. So no. Not gonna write about submission because it is NOT part of who I am or what I do.

And I’m about as interested in setting up a Twitter or Fetlife account as I am in… oh, I dunno… bathing in a tub full of dirty, stinky, sweaty athletic socks. Or in becoming a grub-eater. Or in joining the iCult.

Not. Gonna. Happen.

And as for “sticking to sex”? Well, anyone who reads this blog on the reg is well aware that sex is not my favorite thing right now. And if reading about everyday-life stuff — from a (gasp! horror!) Sex Blogger — is not someone’s cuppa tea, they don’t have to read it.

But this is MY blog.

And if Not Your Cuppa is what I feel like writing, that’s what I’m damn well gonna write.

I will blog how *I* want to blog.

And if you are a blogger: please blog how *you* want to blog.

One Voice

I am only one voice.

One.

Out of millions of voices, shouting above one another, I am just one.

And I don’t shout.

I use my voice the way *I* choose to use my voice.

Because although I recognize my smallness in just being one out of millions…

Goddammit, I am one in a million.

And maybe someday (or, in the future one day) my ‘one’ is the voice someone out there needs to hear.

Roll With the Punches

I have had periods of great ‘success’ over the course of this blog, in terms of reader engagement. And I have had dry spells, where no matter how good the material was that I was writing, there was next to nobody reading it.

I have made friends — and, if I’m honest, I have also made ‘more-than-friends’ — with people I’ve ‘met’ in this space. Some of those friends are friends no longer. A few have disappeared. At least one has died.

I have had people reach out to me with questions. Or with criticisms. Or with non-consensual fetish-foisting. And I’ve had to navigate the sometimes-murky waters that get churned up as a result.

These ups and downs are really no different than the ups and downs of life. Blogging is just a microcosm of the greater world to which readers and writers belong. People will ‘get’ what I have to say or they won’t; friends will come and go; boundaries will be tested.

I used to let those things bother me. But now I just roll with the punches.

Keep Your Sense of Humor

In my personal life, as well as in my online ‘life’, I choose to see the humor in most things. Some folks look for the sunny side; I look for the funny side.

Because if you can’t laugh about it, what the hell is the point?

That’s not to say there aren’t serious things happening in the world. And it’s also not to say that I don’t care about those serious things.

But I don’t dwell on what I can’t change. And I don’t complain about things over which I have no control.

What happens — to me, around me, on the periphery of my life — happens.

And quite often, ‘what happens’ happens to be funny.

Etc.

There’s more, of course.

Some things I have strong feelings about; others, I just *do* because it’s how I do things.

There are topics I don’t touch, lanes I refuse to travel. There are attitudes I won’t sanction, negativities I will not give energy to. But there are also examples I try to set and realities I am willing to show. There are uncomfortable things I approach and vulnerabilities I expose.

Because at the end of the day — and it’s been a decade worth of days — this blog is no one else’s but mine.

And keeping these things front of mind is what’s made it stand the test of time.

.

.

This is the 500th prompt week on Wicked Wednesday.

The topic/theme is Top of the Tops, and Marie Rebelle is encouraging people to talk about their blogging Top Ten. I chose to interpret it slightly differently (which is not unusual) since I have now had ten ‘top’ years of blogging.

If you would like to join in, please click the Wicked Wednesday badge and add your post (posts do not have to follow the prompt — you can write anything you’d like) for this #500 milestone.

26 thoughts on “Ten Years On: Reflections on a Decade of Blogging”

  1. KDPierre

    Well first off, congratulations on the milestone. Secondly, as to your views on the suggestions you’ve gotten? Well it’s the first time I’ve seriously considered committing blatant plagiarism by just stealing someone else’s words and signing my name to it. Your post sounds so much like something I would say that I think I could get away with it with everyone but you. LOL I’ve gotten the exact same advice and feel exactly the same about each recommendation. But…..the people with the advice (I sincerely believe) have all meant well since they all to some degree do what they were recommending to me. So I can’t be upset with them……I just have to accept that I feel differently than they do……but obviously not different from how you do! LOL

    Let me also toss some schmooze your way on this momentous occasion to say that I consider my discovery of you and your blog akin to excavating a precious gem from a silo of oatmeal. (though to be fair to others in my circle, there certainly were other gems in that silo as well.)

    I’m not sure I understand the Wicked Wednesday thing. However, I did not read everything about it and so I will go back and delve a bit deeper. I like Marie’s site and have tried to participate there as often as I could relate to the topic…….of which there are many varied ones to be sure.
    KDPierre recently posted…Do you hear what I hear?My Profile

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    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      WW is basically a weekly writing prompt. A ‘meme’ (whatever that even means). This is the 500th Wednesday of the prompt. That’s all, really. There is a way for you to link your posts there if you participate. That’s all. 🙂

      And now, being that I’ve been compared to a gem, I will spend my day feeling sparkly. 😉

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  2. The barefoot sub

    Your voice is one that I love to catch up with.

    And your philosophy matches mine. I started the blog for sir, but continue it for me. I always have the hope that one day my words (which have helped me so much when I’ve written them down) help someone else that is ready to read it.

    Oh, and “shoulds are shit” is my mantra.

    Here’s to 2022 and another year of blogging

    N x
    The barefoot sub recently posted…Nature And Sculptures Raise A SmileMy Profile

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  3. missy

    Congratulations on 10 years. That’s a real milestone and an amazing achievement. Your advice here is spot on and it’s one of the reasons I love your blog. It is so you and is refreshing. I am with you re the sex blogging label. It was slapped on me, and then removed, but I never felt it fitted anyhow. Here’s to 10 more years of you doing you in the way that only you do! Missy xx
    missy recently posted…When D/s doesn’t happen ~ Missing missyMy Profile

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    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Thanks, Missy.

      Somehow even though I blog about sex, I don’t consider myself a Sex Blogger. I don’t mind re llabel, it’s just that it feels like a pair of spike-heeled sparkly witch-toe shoes that are a half size too small. They might look great on display at the shop, but they just don’t fit right and definitely don’t go with the styles I keep in my closet. 😉

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  5. Marie Rebelle

    Yay for this post! I always remember that I am blogging for me, and for some years I had forgotten that, and thought I blogged for myself but was actually trying to squeeze myself into the mold that should be a ‘sex blogger’. I don’t consider myself a sex blogger anymore. I said I am a lifestyle blogger, but actually I am not that either. I am just a person with a lot of things to share, a passion for writing and I happen to share that online, on my site.
    I love your blog, Feve, and love your unique style, and the things you write about!
    ~ Marie xox

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  6. May More

    I think your blog is unique. It stands out – “you own your blog” and your personality comes across in everything you write.

    Congrats Feve – Your blog would defo be in my top 10 – if i had one lol

    Here’s to 2022
    Mayx

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  7. Jae Lynn

    I’ve missed you and your blog Feve! I’m slowly making my way back to blogging and ended up dumping the old site. Still have the music playing though and for that I have you to thank 😉 Congrats on the milestone and like always keep doing you!

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  8. Brigit Delaney

    Your blog is always one I return to, precisely because I never know what to expect, other than the writing will be good and entertaining. I don’t always write about sex either, and I prefer blogs about real life in all its messy, laughable, craziness.
    I thank you for your content. Blogs are a labor of love, and it is obvious that love goes in to what you create.

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  10. fondles

    Congratulations on 10 years of blogging! I have also discovered along the way that I prefer it when I write what I want to write. So this is a fine reminder of that.

    Happy 2022 Mrs F.

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  11. Pingback: Prompt #501: Looking back on 2021 - Wicked Wednesday

  13. Windy

    Dang, I wish I would have found you bloggers 10 years ago. However, I might not have been quite ready for it as I was much more close minded back then than I am now. I also wish that I hadn’t met a few bloggers in the first place when I did stumble upon some of you gals. Trusting the wrong ones and all that fun internet jazz.

    I’m glad you like to laugh on your blog and on mine …….

    Still catching up on your blog. Off I go!
    Windy recently posted…On the 12th of NEVERMy Profile

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  14. windy

    I started blogging in May of 2018, not long after finding a group of ttwd gal’s blogs……. But, Storm and I started a little d/s on our own early on in our marriage, then found dd online around 2009, but only in like one or two places. I had no idea about blog rolls and that y’all were linked up and meeting one another. I missed 10 years of it! GAH! Oh well. LOL

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