Haven

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Haven-ly Places

(No, I did not mis-spell heaven.) 😉

The term haven has two standard definitions: {1} a place of refuge, and {2} a harbor.

Haven also has a connotation, which – while not a definition – people generally seem to accept as congruous with the term: calm.

Growing up, I did not have a lot of calm in my personal life; neither did I have a lot of physical spaces where I could escape the chaos of my environment and find calm. I did have people who provided a sense of calm, and with whom I felt a sense of relief – they were my refuge – and when each of them died, a piece of me did too: my great-grandmother (my mother’s grandmother) and my grandfather (my mother’s father).

I also found calm through reading. Books were a physical object I could hold and utilize as a mental escape; libraries – and, later, book stores – were actual locations I could escape to.

In early adulthood, I chose — as soon as was practically possible — to live by myself, so as to make my home space a haven. The house I live in now, with my spouse, continues to be one. I rarely invite anyone into my home space for precisely that reason: it is a place of calm, of rest; it is a refuge, a safe space, a very personal place.1

Less personal but still ‘mine’ (in a way) are the community spaces I’ve found over the years. A towne center that housed a Third Place — an open room filled with tables and chairs and occasionally music, a space that was available to anyone who needed a place to land, to read, to write, to meet, to relax — was a refuge when I was first married; these days it is outdoor spaces like parks and beaches, where walking the trails and climbing the rocks is way to both work my body and relax my mind.

Indoors, I have my ‘happy places’ as well: my reclining chair in the living room is where I sit to relax and read, my deck is my preferred place to soak up the summer sun, my yard is filled with flowering delights that take work to produce but whose presence create calm.

Those are my havens.

Do you have a haven? What (or where, or who) is it?

For this year’s A-to-Z Blogging Challenge, I am asking (and answering!) 26 get-to-know-you type questions. I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s question below.

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1One of the things that was most challenging to me during the worst portions of pandemic lock-down restrictions was that – via Zoom and other online conferencing platforms – I suddenly had unwanted and unwelcome people in my home space. Yes, it was via camera. Yes, it was a necessary accommodation for the times. But it was also an anxiety-inducing intrusion on my personal space. During that time, my home — or at least the parts of my home I had to utilize for those kinds of meetings — was no longer a haven. I *still* don’t use my dining room as a result. It’s a space that was invaded, and I feel the lingering impact of that invasion in such a way that I avoid subjecting myself to the negative energy that resulted.

© Mrs Fever – Temperature’s Rising

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12 thoughts on “Haven

  1. windy

    Hi, Feve! I can feel the calm in this post. I love it! Sorry for the disruption of your quietness because of the (in)conveniences of Covid. I don’t welcome drop ins and I mostly wouldn’t want to video chat with anyone that I am not extremely close to and that depends on how I am feeling by the minute, so….. lol

    I do want to give you a heads up about Poisonwood Bible. It might have some triggers given your childhood. The kids in the book are honest and innocent and that is what often made me chuckle, but I do not envy their childhood in the least. There were some triggers in it for me given my religious trauma, but not anything that I couldn’t deal with. Just wanted you to know …… I don’t want you to be in your comfy chair and the book upset your haven and then you’d have to get a whole new chair and change rooms! Gah! 🙂

    Hugs,
    Windy

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Gotcha. I’ll consider that if I run across it. So far this weekend I’ve been to two book stores (happy place!!!) but have not seen The Poisonwood Bible. I did, however, find a 1925 printing of a book written by an author from my home town. Which I’m excited about. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Deborah Weber

    Your havens sound lovely. We’re clearly kindreds in many respects. I consider my home a sanctuary and I take my stewardship seriously in maintaining loving, peaceful energy. I don’t like my space invaded either. The spot I love most is filled with plants and books and art and comfortable sitting spots and a stained glass window that does fabulous things with the light. Ahh. Life is so much better when we have are havens, isn’t it?

    Reply
  3. The Dream Girl

    Books are a definite safe haven for me as well!
    I found a spot on my terrace that has become mine.. it has a beautiful view and the sunset from that spot is just amazing!!!

    Reply
  4. Marie Rebelle

    I don’t have a haven, really, but am working on changing that. I want to change one room in our house to be my haven. We’ll see how this project goes…
    ~ Marie xox

    Reply

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