All I Want For Christmas is The Gift of SPAM

      12 Comments on All I Want For Christmas is The Gift of SPAM
This is a legit for-sale item. F’real. Credit where it’s due and all that.

Typically, at this time of year, I start looking at how the year has shaped — in real life, of course; in relationships, in work, in finances, etc., but also… — where this blog is concerned.

And then I look at statistics.

And at spam.

I don’t know about the rest of you who have your own blogs, but for me, the spam is never-ending.

And ever-entertaining.

I check it regularly because my spam filters are kind of dumb and sometimes they think legit comments are bogus (and vice versa) and I have to rescue real readers’ words from the ether-trap.

But even if that wasn’t the case, I would still check it regularly. Because sometimes I enjoy a bit of useless drivel. It’s quite entertaining.

I’m not talking about the hot sex Dubai cheap businessman spam.

Nor do I refer to the casino slots free money American Express spam.

The dissing spam can suck it — this blog used to be good my friend but internet article weak. Eh. Kiss my ass.

And the suck-up spam is annoying. Vacuum sex toy free with purchase Hong Kong slut!

BUT

Occasionally, I get friendly spam. Spam that takes notice. Spam that says, “I see you, and I think you’re great. Or whatever other-synonym-meaning-great I can come up with.”

THAT kind of spam makes me smile.

Spam such as:

  • impressive paragraph blog wonder unusual great — left on a little fictional ditty inspired by white panties
  • Wow, man! This is exactly what I’ve been searching the internet for! — regarding my upsetting incident involving little gray cells
  • It’s so unusual to find someone on the interwebs who actually understands what they are talking about. — oddly (meaning: not oddly at all), this was left on a post in which I “talked about” (i.e., wrote) absolutely nothing

And why is it, I wonder, that I get consistent spam messages on old posts? Nobody bothers to spam my most recent contributions to the worldwide wonderweb. But I’ll get 17 different messages in one day attached to an old piece of sexy-ish fiction, and I’ll get one message 17 different times on two months worth of posts from 2014.

I dunno.

*shrug*

A n y w a y

I hope you get the loveliest gifts possible this Christmas.

But if you happen to get some spam…

Feel free to pass it this way. It might be in awful taste, but I’m sure to be entertained. 😉

12 thoughts on “All I Want For Christmas is The Gift of SPAM

  1. KDaddy23

    Surprisingly, I haven’t gotten a lot of spam this year – and I’m knocking on wood. I usually get the shit written in Cyrillic and the same kind of inane stuff that you mentioned but, yeah, I’ve been pretty much spam-free heading into the end of the year.

    I wish I could say the same for my email accounts. I laugh because I’ve been getting bombed with emails inviting me to do my Christmas shopping and from legit sources… that I haven’t heard from until now. Fuck them; they acted like they lost my email address all year… but now they find it? They can kiss what I twist, and I don’t mean my wrist…

    WordPress can give me the best Christmas present by making sure I stay relatively spam-free in 2023!
    KDaddy23 recently posted…Today’s Bisexual Thoughts: 23 December 22My Profile

    Reply
  2. fondles

    I don’t get spam. I shouldn’t say so. Cos I know that’ll jinx it. But at most I get like 5 a year. And yes, always on super old posts. Fingers crossed it doesn’t get worse after this comment.

    Have a blessed Christmas. And may your year ahead be merry and bright.

    Reply
  3. KDPierre

    I like that you enjoy the inanities of SPAM……but if this enthusiasm results in you singing the Spam Song, it may be a sign that the holidays got to you. 😉

    Reply
  4. KDPierre

    Search: Monty python Spam Song. (Of course, if you’re vegetarian, be warned, their version contains canned meat.)

    Reply
  5. Caged Lion

    I get very little spam. I guess my filters are doing a good job. The spam that comes through my “Contact Us” page is boring sales pitches for web services. I turn off comments on posts older than 30 days. Before I did that, I got a ton of comments on old stuff. The reason they come in is that Google is pointing to the old post. Sometimes it moves the search link high in rank and tons of new traffic flows in from the searches. Those readers don’t realize they are way behind and leave comments.

    I delete comments that are just silly statements like, “I love to get spanked. I wish Mrs. Lion would spank me.” Worthless.

    Have a very happy new year!

    Lion

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I can see why those kinds of comments would be non-starters. 🙂

      I get pretty legit stuff via my contact form, surprisingly. Some of it is sales pitches but mostly it’s real folks who have questions or who share commonalities but aren’t comfortable leaving public comments (or who don’t understand how). My blog is pretty old now, and I’ve made my contact form not-immediately-obvious, so maybe that’s why. 🙂

      Happy new year to you, too. I hope 2023 brings you both Good Things.

      Reply

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