I don’t know if this is an ‘everyone’ thing or if it’s just a ‘me’ thing, but has anyone else had the experience of mentally “trying on” a new body in a sexual way?
I don’t mean ‘wearing a new body’ as in ‘a new body is covering me and we are dancing the naked fandango’. Rather, it’s a matter of me, mentally — inside my head, on the picture reel (or whatever you want to call it that flashes images about in my brain when I’m trying to masturbate) — changing my figure.
It’s a bit like that scene in Weird Science, I suppose, where Kelly LeBrock’s character is walking through rooms in Wyatt’s house prepping for the party and when she appears through a new doorway her outfit completely changes. And I mean completely changes: hair, clothes, makeup, shoes… the whole shebang.
Well, *my* whole she-bang seems to change, chameleon-like, in my odd imagination when I get into a certain frame of mind. I cannot give the specifics of that frame of mind, except that it happens un-consciously (or subconsciously) — I don’t do it purposely; basically, my imagination just runs away with my features and measurements — and I can ‘see’ myself (rather than be myself) in my head. Kind of like taking a third person point of view on my own physique.
So I’ll be ‘watching’ myself this way, right? And I dunno… Maybe I’m (in my brain/imagination) using a vibrator, or maybe I’m riding astride a faceless body; sometimes I have my back turned to my partner so he’s more than just faceless but completely formless – except for the part of his form I’m using, of course – or I’ll be cavorting with mythological creatures. But whatever is happening, it’s me who’s doing it… But it’s also me who’s watching it. If that makes sense.
And the watching-me will see the doing-me CHANGE.
Poof!
Now I’m three inches taller, with wider hips and slimmer thighs and hair that goes to the small of my back.
And POOF!
Now I’m all sinew and muscle and practically flat everywhere.
Poof!
Now I’m heavy. Large stomach, large breasts weighing heavily, falling over my abdomen.
Poof!
Nose ring. Shaved head.
Poof!
Heavily pregnant.
Poof! Poof! Poof!
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.
.
.
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Is this weird?1
I don’t really see the purpose in it, but it doesn’t *feel* weird when it happens.
It feels more like a version of trying on clothes.
And which ‘outfit’ works out best for the moment — always a masturbatory moment, mind you — varies greatly.
And how in-depth my brain goes toward pursuing the potential realities of these new bodies in seeking masturbatory relief also varies.
Where *that* is concerned — where the extracurricular creativities are concerned, I mean — the places my brain goes tend to make sense. What I can’t/won’t/am-unable-to do in real life are things that seem to rocket me toward the finish line when I allow them inside my head. It’s rather like my Wait… I don’t have a cum fetish! WHY AM I FANTASIZING ABOUT THIS??? experience on steroids. In real life I not only don’t have large breasts, but I have breasts that have shrunk. Thus, the ‘experience’ of having large breasts in mental-mischief-land makes sense. What happens to those large breasts and my response to those ministrations are likewise things that I do not allow (because I don’t enjoy them) in reality-world. Yet sometimes those real-life Bad / fantasy-brain Fabulous things get me off faster than mere physical gyrations can. So for whatever reason I “try it on” in my mind. Sometimes with startlingly quick-cumming results.
When I try to work this out soberly, in an un-aroused and analytical state of mind, it makes no sense.
But then, lots of things don’t make sense these days. (Hello, menopause!) So maybe this is just another one of ‘those’ things.
I am definitely curious whether any of YOU have had a similar experience though.
Do tell!
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1Anyone who would actually answer that question with a “yes” and mean it in a weird-as-negative way is probably not the right person to be reading this blog. But lots of things are ‘weird’ in terms of being divergent from the norm, right? And I’m genuinely curious whether this trying-on business is divergent, or if it’s norm. I’ve never heard anyone else talk about it before.
I’m sorry to say that I have never experienced this. Even in my dreams my body remains as it is or was (if I’m dreaming of my younger self). I think it’s because I have always struggled with accepting my body that I feel a bit of obligation towards embracing it as it is. I don’t know if that makes sense.
I do find the setting for your transformations to be very interesting. I would imagine this change happening perhaps when you’re writing and developing a character and perhaps taking on their shape and form, but you say this a sexual thing. That I can’t imagine. Apart from masturbation for you being WAY the hell different for me, I do understand and participate in self-stimulation when permitted….though usually never to orgasm. But I don’t think the orgasm is the issue here but the process, and even in the midst of MY process, for my sanctioned self-teases…..I remain who I am. In fact, for my masturbatory fantasies, it is quite crucial that I remain ME, since they often revolve around imagining whomever is the object of my desire recognizing me as someone who can’t have access to them or an orgasm.
I’ll be curious to see what others say.
You mentioned yourself in dreams still being YOU. While the chameleon thing is new(ish) for me as a fantasy(ish) thing, I’ve often been myself as a different version of myself in dreams. Even if I am dreaming of something that has a basis in real life, the way I myself *appear* in dreams is often very different than what I actually look like. I have always had a bit of dysphoria – it’s hard to recognize myself in mirrors as the self I think I should see – and I have sometimes wondered if this dream-different Self (or selves) is related to that somehow.
I think that’s exactly what it is linked to. You have a natural inclination to not see yourself as your are, but do so to function. But, when you are not in a situation where that is a necessity (dream or sexual fantasy) the inclination to see yourself differently manifests more for you than someone else. Makes perfect sense.
u know, when I’m in fantasy land (ahem, ok, when I’m having a go with myself) I actually don’t think about ANYTHING. no hot dudes, no wild sexcapades, nothing. Now i’m wondering if that’s weird.
I don’t think that’s weird. My head is often quite blank when I ‘m having a wank. And the most typical thing I concentrate on, if anything, is a color.