Rescue Me

      8 Comments on Rescue Me
gas gauge showing E (empty)
image found at JD Power

So I’d be lying if I said I *understood* how humans got to the top of the food chain, m’kay?

Because SO. MANY. THINGS. that should be common sense are just… opposite. They are, in fact, common blunders.

And while blundering about on land is one thing…

Blundering your way through a water activity is really just NOT the thing to do.

Case in point: My spouse is a volunteer for an on-water agency whose purpose and function is water safety and distress response. For various reasons (including, to be blunt, idiotic management by the uniformed branch with which this organization is affiliated), he has had {a} a lot of training in rescue but has {b} rarely been able to apply that training. Such was not the case over the weekend, however, when — surprise, surprise (read: this is not a surprise AT ALL, it happens all the time) — someone did not engage their brain before engaging the motor on their Bayliner.

Which resulted in: My husband and his team came upon a “vessel in distress” — outfitted with five individuals who were not wearing PFDs, only one individual with a phone (which had a dead battery), and among the lot there was only one [1] flare (which they were waving haphazardly toward the shore, where nobody was likely to see them because nobody was there) and there was no working radio to be found. The problem? (I mean… The entire scenario is a problem, right? But the *actual* problem, like, the reason for the flare waving…) They were out of gas.

People. Please.

Out of gas.

And “I thought there was enough” was not even an attempted excuse because once he started explaining (“Well, I had enough to get to our fishing spot and back but once we got there, I had to turn around and go back for something and then go back out again…”) even THIS genius could figure out that somewhere along the line — probably when he went double the distance he was gassed up for and back again — he should have refueled.

SO.

If you’re planning to go 50 miles in your car, and you know you have enough gas for 50 miles only…

You would either stop at 50 miles or you would add gas before attempting to go another 50 miles further, yes?

Apparently people don’t think of this when their ‘car’ is a boat.

Anywhoo…

Ain’t nobody perfect.

But if you’re gonna be imperfect, you don’t have to go whole hog.

And if you’re gonna go whole hog on imperfection, don’t do it in a boat.

M’kay?

.

Rescue Me was recorded in 1965 by Fontella Bass. While the song has nothing to do with on-water rescues, the title certainly fits the scenario. 🙂

I don’t typically tell other people’s stories on this blog, but since it was slightly reminiscent of my own husband-rescue a couple years ago (though he was well equipped with working radio, charged up cell phone, and was wearing PFD, thankyouverymuch) and the WTF rescue event is pretty much all my spouse has talked about since it happened… I just thought I’d share. 😉

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8 thoughts on “Rescue Me

  1. ktz2

    I’m guessing there was likely beer on board – is that what they went back for ? Because booze and boating seem to go hand in hand for so many folks, hence the stupid decisions that get them in trouble.

    Reply
  2. KDPierre

    So…………..in the distant past life had a very effective way of dealing with glaring, boneheaded stupidity: it eliminated the carrier. Now, however, in the name of progress and compassion, we feel compelled to save these idiots from themselves thereby endangering (or at the very least, inconveniencing) decent, smarter folks, AND keeping these idiots in the gene pool where they can freely produce more idiots.

    I don’t know if you’ve heard about that pod of orcas who have been intentionally sinking sailboats, but all I could think of in this scenario is “where the hell were they when these idiots were out there?” At least if those whales had shown up, your husband would not have been inconvenienced, the orcas could have had a nice meal for their efforts, and our gene pool would be less prone to stupidity. win/win/win

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Yes, I do know about the boat-smashing orcas. My waters are filled with orcas and I hope the ones where I live do not start following that trend! Very scary.

      But yes, if they were going to attack boats where I live, this particular one would have been an ideal candidate.

      Reply
  3. fondles

    I totally enjoyed this post and I totally enjoyed the comments.

    I shall have to look up boat-sinking orcas.

    I do wish that we could stop rescuing idiots. It would, as KD says, help our gene pool lots!
    fondles recently posted…InfinityMy Profile

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      It’s happening primarily in the Strait of Gibraltar. It’s not new, either. My husband just read a book by a guy whose boat was sunk in the 1970s by orca whales — his family was aboard and they sank in approximately 60 seconds. It’s becoming more prevalent, which is disturbing, but they are very large, *wild* predator animals, so it’s also not all that surprising.

      As for the gene pool… A good dose of chlorination might do it some good.

      Reply

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