Step One: Pinken/redden one bottom to the point of “beyond rosy.” Rosiness will vary according to spanker preference. Solid, stinging wallops advised.
Step Two: Scratch nails over recently-rosy’ed flesh to test for sensitivity. Insufficient yelping on the part of the rosy-bottomed scratchee during this step may indicate the need to repeat step one.
Step Three: Swipe palm gently over rosy cheeks to check for heat. If rosy cheeks radiate a glowy warmth, proceed to step four. If pinkened skin is not sufficiently warm, repeat steps one and two as necessary.
Step Four: Apply one ice cube to heated pink bum. Rub in circles over all spanked spots until ice has melted.
Step Five: Photograph the results.
