Sex and Candy

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No, not Marcy Playground. We can talk about hideous ’90s lyrics another time. For right now, let’s talk about sex (thank you, Salt ‘n Pepa) and candy. Or, more specifically: Orgasms and Chocolate.

Orgasms…

And Chocolate…

Why is it that lack of one makes me crave the other? And why (why, Why, WHY?!?!) is it that they each bring out my inner addict? Give me one taste and I want mooooooore… And the more I have, the more I want!

At least with chocolate, a girl can fill up. Too much will make you sick, after all.

But when it comes to orgasms? It’s not possible to satisfy my appetite. (But don’t stop trying!) As far as this girl is concerned, it’s not possible to have too much of a good thing.

And if I could have a chocolate orgasm?

Mmmmmm…

Dirty Minds

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Mr. Fever and I discovered a fantastic toy store this weekend (no, not a porn shop) that sold, among other things, sock monkeys and Bettie Page paper dolls. While there, I found *the* most fabulous board game (see the title of this post for its name) with spectacularly naughty clues about decidedly bland everyday items. Let’s play, shall we?

The hotter I am, the harder I get.

The argument is whether or not I came first.

Go on… Guess! You know you want to…

😉

We Now Interrupt Our Broadcast…

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…For THIS Important Public Service Announcement:

Mathematics is astounding, particularly where relationships are concerned.  The idea that one plus one equals perfection must somehow mesh with the idea that in terms of time, eleven plus two equals one.  (You either get it or you don’t.  If you don’t, go stare at a clock and come back once you’ve figured it out.)  And sometimes it’s the right one at the right time that makes the biggest impact on our lives.  A heartbeat is a lifetime.

I recently posted a short, tongue-in-cheek, transcribed diatribe about soul mates (https://mrsfever.com/2012/07/02/soul-mates/) and after spending part of my evening de-constructing another blog (from which said transcription originated), I ran across something of my own I thought worth sharing.  I had written a post about a past relationship (the content of which is not relevant at this time) that spurred several comments, and this was written in reply to one of them:

Sometimes people fit together like interlocking puzzle pieces. Other times, we are like cogs on the wheel of a clock. Two people sometimes only fit together for a moment. One moment in time. Locked together briefly while moving in different directions.

ONE MOMENT.

Then we blink. And when the lids of our eyes flutter open, that moment has passed us by.

*

Tick-Tock, tick…tock…

This Deep Thought has been brought to you by Mrs. Fever.

We now resume our regularly scheduled programming…

Just Desserts

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I have a (straight, platonic) guy friend I messenger with (and to whom I send gratuitous leg shots) who, for all intents and purposes, ‘lives’ in my phone. For legal protection, I will not be changing the names to protect the guilty, so I’ll call my phone tenant ‘Sklor’. (Which, by the way, is his proper nickname. If you’re not a fan of Ghostbusters, you won’t understand.) Mr. Fever (who has been known to say, “Where’s Sklor?” instead of “Where’s your phone?” because of the frequency of our chats) is often the subject (or at least the predicate) of conversation between us.

Earlier this evening, while conversing with Sklor (before he left for work), I commented on the Mister’s dietary choices (sugar and more sugar) and told Sklor that my husband (who also has a proper nickname: Smotch) was being nutty.

Sklor: nutty smotch sounds like a dessert lol

Me: Thanks for the suggestion.

Cue music: I get by with a little help from my friends…

Of course, when Sklor came back online a couple hours later during his break time (he had to go to work, remember), he forgot all about his ‘suggestion’.

Me: Dessert was delish.

Sklor: I want some.

Me: Uhhh… I had Nutty Smotch for dessert, dude.

Sklor: oh fuck lol

*
Pause
*

Sklor: I like Smotch but not for consumption

*

Well, *I* like Smotch for consumption. And copulation. And attention and stimulation and a whole lot of other-tions that I’m too sated (satiation) to think of right now.

Just thought I’d share.

‘Night.

😉