Rough Ride

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We are living ‘unplugged’ in a cabin for four days, so it’s unlikely that I’ll be posting much (lack of wi-fi and no cell signal makes it a bit difficult), but today Mr. Fever and I took our bitch (actually, I think the Mister is HER bitch, lol) on a gondola ride at Crystal Mountain (where, obviously, we found a signal).

Pup was less than thrilled with this experience. However, she showed good sense: when the world is swaying and you’re unsure what to do, just put your head in Daddy’s lap and get petted; follow this advice and the ride will only get better from here…

😉

Testing…

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Testing, testing… 1-2-3…

This is a test. Repeat: This is ONLY a test. Mrs. Fever is attempting to blog from her phone.

If this had been a real blog post, you would be examining the contents of this purse (lube, condoms, hair ties, matches…it’s best to be prepared) or perhaps witnessing the *use* of the purse’s contents, rather than the viewing the purse itself.

But again, this is only a test.

😉

The Bare Necessities

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Ahhh, summer…

A time for vacation…

I’m a bit of a minimalist when it comes to packing, and I’m always careful to travel with only the bare necessities.  Since Mr. Fever and I are heading out tomorrow for an ‘unplugged’ excursion in the mountains (camping is NOT my thing; we’re leasing a luxury cabin ~ complete with hot tub ~ for a little ‘us’ time ;)), I thought I’d share my ‘travel essentials’ checklist with you.

As of this moment, my (vintage) Towncroft baby blue train case (I’m most definitely a retro girl…  Bettie Page anyone?) currently contains:

  • One Icicle (a girl should never be without her glass cock)
  • Mighty Tidy (a girl should never be without her toy cleaner)
  • One (brand new, 9.2 oz) bottle of I.D. (a girl should never be without lube)
  • One bottle of (shea & cocoa butter) baby oil (moisturizer and massage oil in one!)
  • Four silk scarves (a lovely dual purpose item – not only do they look cute in my hair, but they’re lovely for tying up…erm…loose ends :))
  • One dozen condoms (just…because)

I may have never been a girl scout, but I’m always prepared.  😉

What’s that you say?  My list doesn’t take into account the fact that we might encounter a cougar in the woods?

Well, considering that I could be a cougar myself if I chose to take up with men (*snort*) half my age…

Cougars shouldn’t be a problem.

Perhaps, however, the cubs should ‘be prepared’ for me.

Hmmm…

 

Marriage Moments

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So this morning I stumbled into the bathroom (I have an incredibly reliable internal alarm clock ~ OhmyGodIGottaPee! ~ that never fails to urge me out of bed in the morning), bleary eyed and barely functioning.  As usual.

My husband was not in my bed when I rolled out of it, but as I was draining the batteries on my internal alarm (Well, how else am I supposed to describe it?  It’s like Niagara Falls. Seriously…), I heard footsteps outside the bathroom door.

A moment later (stiiiilllll peeing), Hubby’s head popped in.

He smiled.

“I wondered where you were,” he said.

“Mrf…” was my (typically A.M.-eloquent) response.

He looked at me and…  How can I describe this look?  Hmmm…  Let’s just say a scene from Bambi comes to mind.  What was the word Flower used to describe it?

Twitterpated.  That’s the word.  He’s absolutely twitterpated.

Sigh…

“Mnuh…” I say.

( I don’t speak English in the morning.  It’s a good thing he understands Feverish.)

“You look so cute sitting on the toilet, hon.”

I blinked.  (I wish this site had emoticons.  There is no way I can tell you what my face must have looked like upon hearing this news.)

OH.

MY.

GOD!

Baaaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!

I am still cracking up!

In the event you were wondering about my Mister…  We celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary this month, and let’s just say…

The man adores me.  Even while I’m peeing.

Sigh…

It is moments like these that define our marriage.