He was incredulous.
“Beaten by TITTIES!” was his exclaimed disbelief.
And me — having been the one who laid the word (and won the game) — being… well, me… I was like:
[ . . . ]
“I’m pretty sure there are plenty of men who kink to that.”
Continue readingPERIOD SEX
Shortly before I turned 18, I put myself on birth control. While this served a practical purpose in terms of contraception, it also regulated my periods. Which means that — for the first time since I started menstruating — I was ‘regular’.
This was mostly a good thing, in that I knew EXACTLY when to expect The Bloody Frickin’ Mess.TM (Up til then, it could be 4 weeks or 12 or 9 or 16 in between… Just, whenever.1)
But it was also a challenging thing — ‘challenging’ in that the every-4-weeks timing always seemed to coincide with my boyfriend’s military leave dates — because pretty much every time I saw my beau during the first two years I was in college, I was bleeding.
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NOTE: I fully understand that for some people — due to religious or cultural reasons or just plain personal preference or feelings of taboo — participating in vaginal intercourse during menstruation is a hard NO. And I fully respect that. For them. But that’s not me. And this post is about me. So if you’re likely to be bothered/offended by the topic of Period Sex, then this post is not for you.
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I remember when I got my period for the first time —
and isn’t that a strange way to phrase it? “got my period” sounds like it’s a cool thing, like “got my first bike” or “got to drive a car for the first time” — but really, getting a period is not a cool/fun/desirable thing to get as far as I’m concerned
— and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad DayTM that ensued.
I was 11 years old, in the sixth grade. And – luckily, I suppose – I had ‘started’ early in the morning, so it’s not something that surprised me in the middle of a math lesson or a geography report; instead, it just… blobbed(?), I guess… quite unexpectedly onto my underwear when I sat up to get out of bed in the morning.
I wasn’t terribly bothered by it.
Or… Let me rephrase:
When the initial blobbing occurred, it was something I knew enough about that it didn’t alarm me.
Like, my mom — she tried, right? (though really, she failed miserably) — to give me some sort of… I dunno, education(?)… about How Girls Become WomenTM so I’d know what to expect and supposedly be fine with the whole bleedingoutmycrotch thing. And I was. Kinda.
I mean: I was fine in that I understood the biologics of the situation.
I do NOT mean: I was fine.
Because I was BLEEDING.
And lemme tell ya: the honkin’ huge pads that were required in those days1 were like wearing a diaper. Plus, the wetness of it. Like, smeary wetness between the diaper and the skin.
Just…
*shudder*
So yeah. It was kinda awful.
Bloody fucking awful, as a matter of fact.
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So one of the things I did during my clean-out house upheaval over the past year* was to comb through the contents of various shelves and drawers.
The result?
I now have more organized closets — though I can’t really say there is less stuff in them, because I got rid of stuff but then I bought stuff, YEESH — and slightly less-full drawers.
And one of the things my drawers are less-full of is sex toys.
I got rid of the bunny [sad face], an extemporaneous piece of skinny glass, a few no-longer-used novelty cock rings, and a surfeit of miscellaneous Don’t Need ‘Ems.TM
But I *kept* a few things as well. Two of those ‘few’ being the vibrators showcased above.
And I got to thinking…
Like, I remember reading a book once where the female protagonist called her dildo Juan Carlos (or something like that) and it caused massive confusion in her burgeoning relationship because the guy she was dating overheard her talking to one of her friends about how good Juan was.
Or some such.
: laugh :
Anywhoo…
I have Blue (pictured above right).
Like, it’s actually sort of a turquoise color. But I just refer to it as Blue.
And then I have ‘the little guy’.
He’s too small to be a Flying Purple People Eater. (And that’s too much of a mouthful, anyway.) But I mean… Lookit ‘im. So cute.
Just a little guy.
And I got to thinking…
Maybe I should give him a name.
I’m open to suggestions, but for the moment…
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