No Comments on iontkonhsokewáhtha


The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.  Partly it has great practical value — you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindbogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you ~ daft as a brush but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value.  For some reason, if a Strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit, etc., etc.  Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have ‘lost’. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence, a phrase which has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in “Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect?  There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.”  (sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy:  really together guy; frood:  really amazingly together guy)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What my friend Ganien (who is most definitely a hoopy frood), for whom I read the HHGG to begin with, and therefore gets asked things like, “Do you know where your towel is?”, has to say on the subject of towels:

I always know where my towel is.  But the laundry fairy…

(NOTE, re: Laundry Fairy ~ I am forever lamenting my lack of a laundry fairy; I find it intolerable that the laundry is not magically done for me by a little winged creature so that I can spend my days doing more interesting things, like reading the Hitchhiker trilogy and having orgasms.  Not necessarily at the same time.  Ganien does have a laundry fairy, in the form of his wife, who does not have wings; I find this grossly unfair.)

THIS perfectly describes my yesterday.

THIS perfectly describes my yesterday.

…is not very fair to my towel.  You see, I wake up first and shower and put my wet towel on the towel rod.  The laundry fairy takes her shower, dries with her towel, then she uses my towel to wipe down the tile so there isn’t any mold growing.  Then she drops my towel on the floor and steps on it and shuuffs around until the floor is clean (but the towel is NOT).  Then she hangs my towel back on the towel rod to dry.  If I’m lucky, she remembers it is dirty and puts it in the hamper when it’s dry.  If I’m not lucky, I get a face full of whatever was all over every surface in the bathroom, the next morning when I try to dry off.

I am often, not lucky.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

But I am lucky.  Very very lucky, because I sass such a hoopy frood.

There are times when our exchanges save my sanity.

Consider this an appreciation post.

And to my dear friend…  Niawen’kó:wa, Kanienke.  For loving me the way you do. 

0 thoughts on “iontkonhsokewáhtha

  1. kanienke

    Nia:wen, my friend. Years of knowing you and sharing stories and songs and experiences with you, have given me so much joy and centeredness. I am completely at home with your spirit and I love you.

  2. Bill

    I’m a big fan of Douglas Adams. I watched the BBC miniseries in the early 80’s. I then read the four books of the trilogy that were out then. I have quite frequently heard people complain about the screen versions of books. The books are always better. People complain and complain. Watch the movie first. If the movie is good it’s a pretty safe bet the book will be too. And if the book is A LOT better you will have the pleasure of going from good to very good without the disappointment of the movie not being as good. The later books tied up some loose ends, but I don’t think they were as good as the first two books. They were written to appease fans that wanted to know about this or that reference. The immortal guy who decides to insult the universe by insulting each and every individual personally and in alphabetical order was amusing. The SEP {Somebody Else’s Problem} invisibility field may have already been invented. I hear, “Not my problem” quite often. Another good Douglas Adams book is Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency.

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I have just begun the last book of the “trilogy” and while I do like Adams, I find I must digest his words in small doses. Much of the humor in the books comes from description, not action; having not seen the movie(s), it’s easy to understand why they may not translate well.

      The only movie I’ve ever seen that was as good as the book (and I always read the book ‘first’, or just read the book – period – as I rarely watch movies), was Big Trouble by Dave Barry. The movie is an ensemble piece and it’s fantastic. 🙂


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge