Scientific Observation{s}: The Convalescing Male (TCM)

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Upon study, I have drawn the conclusion that The Convalescing Male (TCM) has much in common with The Pregnant Female (TPF) in terms of general attitude and behavior.

Bouts of excessive tiredness punctuate periods of relentless obsessiveness in both creatures, and it is wise to approach such beasts with extreme caution (and possibly a large stick).

Feeding them is dangerous business, as they are likely to bite the hand that is feeding them rather than munch the food itself.

They are good-natured except when they are snarling, and if they have concocted some hare-brained scheme for Getting Something Done, it is best to consign yourself to Doing It For Them, as there is no getting around the fact that they have no compunction about injuring themselves in the process of Reaching Their Goal.  Be prepared to rearrange furniture, deep clean the most spotless of rooms, and delouse apple trees of tent caterpillars in the name of Keeping The Peace.

It is advisable to give TCMs a wide berth.  Especially if it’s been more than 24 hours since they last showered.

No sudden movements.

Remind them of their manners (please and thank you, anyone?) at your own risk.

Do not expect anything they say to make an ounce of sense.

Don’t argue.  Just smile and nod.  And when they are placated, go about your business exactly as you please.

A word of caution, should you encounter a TCM in the future:  TCMs, like TPFs, appear to be mostly harmless…

Except they are insane.

0 thoughts on “Scientific Observation{s}: The Convalescing Male (TCM)

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      And how often have you had to live with a TCM, hmmm?

      The Pregnant Female is a trial, but The Convalescing Male can be equally exasperating.

      And I wouldn’t recommend touching the belly of either creature.

  1. Jen

    ROFL!!!! Been there.
    And I swear — some men are prone to mood swings comparable to PMS and TPF, whether they’re convalescing or not!!!
    Sending thoughts of *strength*!

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Sometimes I think I should write a field guide. Helpful Hints: Tips and Tricks for Proper Care and Feeding of the Male of the Species (Diagrams and Addendums Included).

  2. wildoats1962

    The belly of The Pregnant Female is a magnet to both genders. TPFs that I’ve known get really indignant at intrusions of their personal space. Rubbing the belly of Buddha is good luck tho. I look kinda like Buddha.

  3. Tom Allen

    Guy here. Can confirm the validity of this anecdotal observation.

    Personally, I just want to be left the hell alone. Don’t ask me if I want toast, and don’t wake me up to ask if I’d like some tea. Just close the door and get the hell out.

    See? That’s not so hard, is it?

    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Ha! That is a perfect description of my dad’s attitude, on any day that ends in Y. 😛

      Smotch is pretty good natured, even when he’s laid up. He’s starting to go a little stir crazy at this point though, so in all his spare time he dreams up Projects That Must Be Done IMMEDIATELY. Except he can’t do them. Because, incision. So guess who that leaves? o_O

      1. Tom Allen

        When I’m really sick, I’m not dreaming up projects of any sort. Why? Who cares, just leave me the hell alone – weren’t you listening the first time? Geez.