When you think of sex, what comes to mind?

If your answer is along the lines of “sanitary copulation,” this is probably not the post for you.

Because today we’re going to talk about messy sex.  In detail.

One of the things that gives me paradoxical reactions about sex is that it’s unclean.  It’s dirty.

That’s not a moral judgment, it’s a practical fact.  Sex is MESSY.  And while I’m normally a finicky kitten when it comes to keeping both myself and my environment clean, the same cannot be said of me where sex is concerned.  Oh sure, there are times when, once the deed is done, I want a tissue or a towel or a shower.  But there are also times when sex is the most fun when it’s done dirty.  So let’s take a moment to appreciate the filthy fun of messy sex, shall we?  🙂

BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS

I’m not particularly into blood play, but there are times when I’ve drawn blood from a partner in the heat of sexual battle, and it’s damn sexy.  Likewise, I’m not usually a cry-er.  However, there are times – particularly post-orgasm – when the intensity of my physical release leads to an upwelling of emotion that gets released via tears.

It’s also a common adrenaline reaction.  There is an endorphin high that floods your system during sex (up to and including orgasm), and once the dopamine stops fogging your brain, your system crashes.  It can be a bit like a rollercoaster ride, especially if one is testing limits or pushing the pain/pleasure boundary.  And just like a rollercoaster, the higher the high, the deeper the plunge on the way down.  Fight or flight becomes fight or fuck, and once you’ve jumped off the fucking cliff, metaphorically speaking, you can only soar so long before you come crashing down.

So:  you fly, you crash, you cry.  (Yes, it happens to men too.)

And then you snot.  Heh.

That’s all I’m gonna say for the moment about the ‘blood’ and ‘tears’ portion of the program.

But Oh Em Gee:  SWEAT.

There is nothing like sweaty sex.

There is ‘working up a sweat’ during sex.

And then there is wanting sex because you’ve worked up a sweat.

When a man I’m attracted to is sweating – from hot weather, from working out, or from just plain working – my pheromones latch onto his and go into overdrive.  If I’m sweating as well (preferably from the same activity, but let’s face it: I prefer the role of Supervisor over that of Worker Bee), and the two of us are in the same vicinity, there will be fucking.

I get slick between my thighs when I sweat.  My pussy gets wet.  I drip.  My skin all over my body is hot to the touch and covered in a thin sheen of perspiration.  I generally try to avoid heat, but once I’m in it, my body responds.

And for some reason, my spouse goes gaga over sweaty messy Feve.  My husband will come after me like a randy teenager when I’ve been working out.  I’m not a huge fan of formalized exercise, but I *do* love court sports, and when I’ve been playing (mostly in the spring and summer), it takes no time before I am covered in sweat.

If we are playing together, he starts eyeing me after about 30 minutes.  When we’re alone, he starts copping feels after every point.  If we’re in a group, he gets impatient to get home, and once we’re there, he uses every trick he knows to get me to peel my leggings off and let him bury his face in my cunt.  I make him work for it, but he usually gets his way.  And once he does, he will lick and suck and fuck my sweaty mess of a self, our bodies sliding wet against each other until we’ve streaked the floor with the steam between us, and if we bother to move to the bed, we aren’t finished fucking until we’ve soaked the sheets.

It makes a glorious mess.

GETTING DOWN AND DIRTY

Take the above and add some dirt.

When he’s outside working in the yard, sweating and getting dirty:  YUM.  There is something about the scent of loam that adds to a man’s appeal.  Will I pull his cock out of his jeans when he comes up on the deck for a cool drink of water?  Yes.  And if I can be certain we won’t get arrested (I’m old enough to remember the days before Big Brother had cameras every-fucking-where and I miss the freedom to fuck whomever I wanted wherever I pleased, particularly outdoors; for years I carried a blanket in my trunk specifically for that purpose), I’ll drag him to the ground and fuck him in the dirt.

Outdoor sex is always messy sex.  Grass stains, dirt on the knees, rough terrain that tears at skin and clothes.  Or, alternatively:  sunscreen, salt, seaweed, and sand.  Add in the mingled sweat and the adrenaline-spiked pheromones that accompany the fear of getting caught, and outdoor sex is a downright filthy undertaking.

EJACULATE, AND ALL THAT JIZZ

Some people are cum sluts.  The more, the better.  They want to suck it, swallow it, be filled with it, covered in it, and soak it into their skin.

I can’t really say that about myself.  Usually, the first thing I want to do when my partner cums is clean it up.

Except when that’s the LAST thing I want to do.

I once had a lover who could CUM.  He had the odd distinction of being multi-orgasmic, and I loved making him cum.  Again.  And again and again and again, until you’d think he’d be dry but NOPE, there’s more.  I would clamp my vaginal walls around his cock, bear down, and use my cunt to suck every last drop out of him that he could give.  When I released him, his seed would flow out of me, running down my thighs to pool thick and wet on the bed.

He would go to work on me then, suckling at my breast and pushing his fingers inside my cum-slick pussy until I orgasmed, our mingled juices soaking his hand to his wrist by the time I was finished.

And then there was the time I bathed in his cum.  Literally.

In a jetted tub, he sat between my legs and pushed his fingers inside me as I lay back afloat in the water.  He curled his fingers against my g-spot, moving them in a continual ‘come here’, while I circled spit-lubed fingers over my clit.  When I started to clench around his fingers, the onset of my orgasm triggered his own (I hadn’t touched his cock and neither had he), and he came buckets into the frothy water.

AND SPEAKING OF WATER…

Bodies that have been dirtied by messy sex are often best cleaned up in the water.

Showers, anyone?  How about a golden one…

Every kink has variations in application and intensity, so your mileage may vary.  But I’ve found that one of the cleanest, safest, most intimate places to practice watersports is in the shower.

People generally think of watersports as ‘piss play’ (for which the shower has obvious advantages), but I’d encourage you to expand your thinking.  You have a lot more options than just ‘Partner A pees on Partner B’.  I’ll give you an example.

I like getting him hard when I know his bladder is full and then:

• edging him
• fucking him
• slapping the head of his cock against his lower abdomen (tortuous mixed sensations)
• making him cum
• forcing him to pee with a hard-on

The last two suggestions take time and training, but they can be a helluva lot of filthy fun.  😀

MO MESSY, MO BETTAH

I’m sure that where messy sex is concerned, there are niches I’ve missed.  Mud wrestling, for instance.  I’ve also heard there are people who are particularly ‘into’ unwashed hair.  And I’m sure sex on or around a farm has some unique dirtiness to it.

I don’t have personal experience with the above (except the farm thing – I once had sex in a cornfield), but I can understand their appeal.  Because sometimes, where sex is concerned, the messier it is, the better it gets.

What about you?

Do you like messy sex?  Do tell!