Interview

Last summer, as many of you are aware, WordPress started shutting down “sex blogs” – blogs that contained erotic content (written or visual) and/or that addressed issues of sex and sexuality in anything but the most clinical of terms – and the heavy footfalls of the masses stampeding for the exit after the initial crackdown could be heard in the resounding silence that followed their departure.

It was a sad time for me, as a blogger, because people who had become established members of my community here on Temperature’s Rising suddenly…

Vanished.

Or simply stopped talking.

It was…  Disconcerting.  To say the least.

Around that time, Nate (also known as Monkey) was doing a bit of…hmmm…shall we say, sociological research?…and conducted a series of interviews with members of the Sex Blogging Community.

When he interviewed me, I wrote my answers out for him in post form (which he alone has seen; WP has a cool feature where you can share unpublished posts…I should probably publish a How-To piece about that), but neither of us ever posted my interview publicly, for a variety of reasons.

And so this post has sat in my queue…

And stared at me…

Every time I’ve opened my Dashboard…

For months.

Nine months.

I’m not really sure what will come of this, or into what direction(s) we ~ ‘we’ being the collective ‘you’ (yes, YOU!) and ‘me’ ~ will branch from here, but I’m working on an idea for a series of posts, so as a “test run” I have decided to birth this nine-month gestated baby now.

Feedback is welcome and appreciated.  And if you have questions of your own, either about something you read below or about anything else, feel free to ask, either in the comments section or via email at mrs.fever@yahoo.com.

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Nate’s questions…

• Blogger Name:  Mrs Fever
  1. Any story behind your blogger name?
  2. Any story behind your blog name (if different than your blogger name)?
• How long have you been blogging?
  1. Why did you choose WordPress?
  2. Where else have you blogged? (Optional)

I started blogging on WordPress in June of 2012, when I migrated intentionally from my former blog space.  Since I already had an establish pseudonym there, I kept Mrs Fever for simplicity’s sake.  I chose WordPress because, at the time, it was the most user-friendly established blogging community I could find, and it was the only blog press that addressed mature content (however subjectively) in their TOS.

• What is your favorite post (provide link please), does not have to be your most popular post.
  1. Why is this your favorite post?
  2. What is your least favorite post, you do not have to provide a link?
  3. Why is this your least favorite post?

On a personal level, this is my favorite post, because I was able to pin down some nebulous, abstract thoughts and create a concrete visualization for myself.  I like it for the simple reason that the process of turning thoughts to words was cathartic for me at the time.

Otherwise, I sort of have two favorite ‘categories’ of posts:  The daily doses of humor, generally attributed to interactions with The Smotch; and the Audience Participation Posts, where great conversations take place.

While I have definitely published posts that, from a technical standpoint, could use improvement…  I no longer have a “least favorite” post.  I used to, but I deleted it.

• Why do you write, not just about sex, but the whole picture?

Writing is a form of expression that has always appealed to me.  There are things that can be conveyed through the written word that cannot be expressed in other linguistic formats.  To quote Lord Byron:

Words are things,
and a small drop of ink,
falling like dew upon a thought,
produces that which makes thousands,
perhaps millions,
think.

• Why do you write about sex?
  1. Do you have any goals with your blog and writing?
  2. What are your thoughts about the community of sex bloggers as a whole?
  3. What are your thoughts about the community of sex bloggers on WordPress?
  4. Is professionalism a concern and should professionalism be a concern of sex bloggers?
  5. How important is honesty, civility, accurate information, and accountability to sex bloggers?  (yes I know a bunch of different concepts)
  6. What do you think could and/or should be done to improve the image of sex bloggers?

I write about sex because, to me, sex is not an “other” topic.  It is not separated from the rest of my life.  I am a creative being, a physical being, a spiritual being, a sexual being.  I experience sex and sexuality as an embodiment of my whole self.  It is not compartmentalized for me, and I do not find shame in it.  I talk about sex openly with friends of both sexes, both in the 3-D world and online.  I have a sense of humor that encompasses the entirety of my being, and that includes my sexuality and sexual experiences.  I approach sex with the same cheerful curiosity and trueness to self that I approach every other facet of my life.  And I write about those facets as well.  So it only makes sense that I should write about sex.

So I suppose at this point I should clarify:  I don’t consider myself a sex blogger.  I consider myself a blogger.  Period.  I write about my life, my experiences, and my relationships.  Sex is part of the whole package, yes.  But sex is not the whole package.  For me ~ and for the way I approach my writing here ~ there is a difference.

Since I do not consider myself a sex blogger, I don’t feel particularly qualified to answer most of these questions.  Generally speaking though, I try to approach others in an open and friendly manner.  I ask questions when I don’t understand.  I engage in conversation on topics that interest me.  I have, for the most part, been afforded the same courtesies ~ regardless of whether someone is a “sex blogger” or not.

As for goals…  When I first started blogging, I didn’t really have any goals in mind.  I just wanted to write.  It never really occurred to me that I would have an audience.  Now that I’ve been at it for a while, and have gotten to know the people who frequent my blog, I’d say that one of my goals as a blog host has become to create an atmosphere of acceptance and foster community.

• How much time do you spend writing, reading other blogs, and commenting on other blogs?
  1. How much do you share in your writing?
  2. Why do you share?
  3. Is it important to share?

I average an hour a day; sometimes more, sometimes less.  A lot depends on what I am writing, and with whom I am interacting.

As for sharing…  There are things that I do not ~ and will not ever ~ share, but outside of those personal “hard limits”…  What I share and with whom (or on whose blog, in the form of comments) is dependent on a variety of factors.  Some of the things I think about before sharing on another person’s blog:  How well do I know/like/trust the person with whom I am sharing?  Is this blog/forum a safe environment in which to share?  Are there potential repercussions to others if I share?  And, keeping in mind my goal of fostering community:  If I participate in this discussion, am I contributing to the community in a positive way?

• Have you been published or self-published?
  1. If so, what have you done that you want to share?

Yes.  I have been published under my real name, as part of a nation-wide writing experience.  I will tell you more personally, if you want to know.  But it’s not for blog consumption.

• How important is actual experience and knowledge in writing about sex?

Hmmm.  This question is a bit difficult to answer, because there are a myriad of ways to write about sex.  When I write about sex on my own blog, I primarily write in personal narrative form.  Stories of my own sexcapades and whatnot.  When I compose poetry of the schmexy variety, it is typically a twining of past experiences, current activities, and future fantasies.  Or just…  Simple…  Raw…  N E E D . . .

For people who write character-based erotica, I’d say that knowledge and experience is key to delivering a believable story line.  A person who knows nothing about bondage, but writes a story from the point of view (or the *supposed* point of view) of a trussed-up sub…  That kind of writing is a huge turn-off because it doesn’t ring true.

For a writer who does “How To”-type material, I think knowledge and experience play into the authenticity of the overall presentation, but I also think the author does not need to be an expert.  I tend to like posts of that nature if/when they are accompanied by “I am not an expert” statements, and when the author encourages audience participation and feedback.  You do this often, Monkey.  And I was very careful on my Swinging Q & A post, for example, to state up front and for the record that I was writing from my own experiences and that other people likely encountered vastly different situations.

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That’s all she wrote, folks.

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And again:  If you are curious about anything you’ve read in this interview, or are curious in general about anything you’ve read on the blog, or are wondering about __________, or whatever, your questions are welcome.