(and other questions whose answers are imperative to maintaining order in the universe)
Meet Belle.
Belle is a sex toy. A fun pink buzzy novelty of a sex toy. Made of velvety silicone and shaped like a bunny, Belle is…
Adorable.
Adorable, and completely useless.
Completely.
Oh, sure Belle WORKS.
The ears are even insert-able if one wishes to take the time for some plastic gymnastics in the middle of a wank.
And the ‘nose’ could sort of work as a button to vibrate a lady’s…button…if, y’know, the controls were on the back side of the vibe. Which… They are not.
The thing is, as sex toys go, Belle has possibilities.
Or she *could* have possibilities anyway, in the right hands.
Those hands, however, are not mine. Apparently.
So, cute as she may be, I need to get Belle the Bunny off of my hands.
Which begs the question: What does one do with sex toys that are just… Not?
I could continue to store her in a drawer, I suppose. It’s where Lil Miss Bunny has been for almost three years now, after all. But that seems so… I dunno, useless?
I pretty much never have company (see definition: introvert), so I could probably safely display Belle on any surface in my home and get away with keeping her there indefinitely, like a piece of vibratory installation art. (Other people might call that kind of thing a ‘conversation piece’, but to have a conversation requires being around people, or – specifically, in this case – inviting people into one’s home. Again: introvert.) Or maybe I could frame her and tack her to the bedroom wall?
I just feel as though I’m being wasteful, letting her sit around unused and unappreciated.
And she’s so darn cute!
BUT
Useless is useless.
And there are others. Little Miss Rabbit-y Pinkness is not the only sex toy in my drawer that just doesn’t do anything for me in my drawers.
I have two icicles (I used to have three, but I think I flat out garbaged one of them during my last move), and while I really really like one of them, the other is…
Meh.
And there is the cock sleeve that – being found obsolete due to being smaller than my husband’s actual cock and therefore un-fittable – has only been used once (and not for its intended purpose) and will probably never be used again.
Also there’s the (not-so) SoDivine wand my paramour sent me (he’s sent me two actually, because he’s sweet like that; neither functioned, which I’m leaving to him to deal with since he’s the one who paid for them) that just plain doesn’t work. Ditto the guybrator that arrived in the last package he sent, in anticipation of me using it on him during his next visit. (Not gonna happen. No worky, no sexy.)
So again I ask you: What does one do with sex toys when they have outlived their sex life?
Should I create a found-art sculpture from these scraps of glass and silicone? Donate them to an organization that supports the orgasm-less? Is there some kind of XXX recycling program?
Perhaps I should auction them for charity?
Help me out here, people!
What would you do, hmmm?
Ha! Good question! I hate throwing things away. I have sex toys in ther vanity case that I haven’t used in close to three years and don’t think I’ll ever use. Don’t really need them with my lover(s), I am not sure he’d appreciate using them actually. I can’t be bothered when I’m by myself. My fingers work just fine.
So, if you find an answer to your question, I’m all ears!
I enjoy using toys, both by myself and together with my lovers, but the ones that just aren’t cutting it? Or that no longer function?
. . . . .
?
I’m at a loss.
I recycle if not too embarrassing or toss of not recyclable!
The only thing I’m _fairly_ certain is recyclable, is the glass.
But it totally squicks me out that anyone would recycle such a thing, no matter how well it’s been cleaned. Because, bodily fluids.
I could be wrong, but I don’t think the people who man the recycling plants wear (or wish to wear) hazmat suits.
Glass is melted to make new glass. The high temperatures will kill anything. And the employees don’t actually touch the glass to be recycled, since it’s often shards of broken bottles. I don’t think whatever was on you is any worse for their health than the possible spores from yeast and bacteria that grew on OJ remnants or wine and beer. Just my 2 cents 😉
Hahaha! True. 😉
Feverish Cleanliness Level: no worse than fermented orange juice spores! 😛
glass can be cleaned in the dishwasher. so it will be sterile and it is nonporous so it will be cleaned…..
I think a collection of them could be gathered up and sent to sex-toy-starving peoples in the third world — charities these days work like that. 😀
I think it would qualify as humanitarian aid. 😉
The wife and I have taken such toys, give them a thorough and surgical cleaning, and have passed them on to others that might benefit from their use, which seems to be better than just tossing them – unless, while in our possession, they got beat the fuck up and are pretty much destroyed…
Heh. I’m imagining a sex-toy-exchange party, potluck style. “Everyone bring a dish to pass and a toy to share.” 🙂
they do have them. When i was younger and had friends my girlfriend had no problem using my toys when i was not home. lol i didnt
toy exchange partys
I think Lovehoney have a recycling program where they give you points to spend in their store.
Wriggly Kitty recently posted…A Sweaty, Sticky Night
Oooh, good to know! Thanks! 🙂
What would *I* do? Oh Miss Bunny you’re about to be upgraded to a Dremel motor. You already know I make my own. And dildos/attachments are mostly wax and cloth. They burn quite well in a campfire. Which is handy since they aren’t all that durable.
Heh. Move over Updike. Rabbit, RUN. 🐰
hmmm i wonder if they’d end up on the island of misfit toys…
Dok Urtybitz recently posted…-17.08.17_15:07-
Heh. Yes, they’re almost as useful as a jelly squirt gun. 😉
This is so funny i was just asking if anyone has a grave yard of sex toys. I have a box of broken not working toys. the sex toy graveyard i call it. i seem to be really hard on sex toys. Which is brings me to I am Back…….I am going to be testing and writing about sex toys. ya me. I only wish i could get Bad Dragon on board. I so badly want one. . talk to you soon.
I would like to get a Bad Dragon Kelvin. I think it looks like monstrous fun. 🙂
Kelvin the Ice Dragon
The Winterlands are vast and snow covered, dangerous by nature, and lonely all the same. Kelvin is one dragon who is looking forward to seeing travelers to not only give directions, but maybe warm them up a bit before they head off. Amidst the cold blizzards, you can feel the warmth pulsating from underneath him, the dragon above wanting to give you something more pleasant to shiver about. From his spade-tipped, yet smooth head forming down to a subtly curved and ridged shaft, he’ll fulfill and hit all those sweet spots as you reach his plump knot, locking you in between a few more of those thick ridges. Kelvin the Ice Dragon is a Bad Dragon Labs winner, designed by Finir and based off Raventhan’s original character. Due to popular demand we have launched him in 4 sizes! Come on and let him be your guide to warmth. How could you say no?
I would be happy. I see they have a mini ones….. I am a “romance consultant” for Intimate Tickles. For the last two years now I keep bring Them up so she contacts them and they will not do whole sale. Which sucks because they would be a great addition to our Kink line. It part of the reason why i haven’t investing in one yet.
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