The half-laugh shout carries on the autumn-cool morning air across the hallway between our respective rooms, my voice a sing-song sillyness, startling the morning stillness.
His response is an audible slap-stick scramble to disconnect from his machine** – click, beep, beeeeep, “StopStopSTOP!”, whir, click, “Grrr!”, blip – and then he is bounding into my bedroom, all lanky excitement and raised-brow swagger, grinning like loon and eyeing me the way a starving giraffe on the African savanna would ponder a sudden inexplicable oasis-buffet vision of tall leafy trees.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” I say with a wink, and onto my bed he pounces.
We laugh and paw and wiggle, retrieving lube and putting down towels, tossing clothing and snuggling together and arranging covers until our bodies achieve some semblance of coital positioning. Somewhere between his “Do you want my fingers?” and my “…Ummm…I think just your cock” (and his resultant wide-smile enthusiastic compliance with my unexpected request), his head gets covered, Casper-the-friendly-ghost style, by the recalcitrant comforter, which makes me want to play peek-a-boo.
(Which I do. Of course I do. Because, PEEK-A-BOO! And he tries – very hard, failing miserably – to look stern as he instructs, “Focus on your clit!” Which I am rubbing lazily in three-quarter time to his unsyncopated laugh-rhythm ghostly thrusts.)
So I give up on any semblance of need-to-cum concentration for a moment and just play.
“You look like the Headless Horseman,” I tell him, holding the top edge of the Casper covers over his face above me while the remaining trail of linens billow behind him like a cape. And this, for some reason, topples us both into ridiculous fits of giggles. Me, because he *such* an adorably gangly Ichabod. Him, because… Well, I have no idea why he’s laughing, really, other than the fact that my own laugh is infectious. But whatever the Why, we are full-belly, side-crampy, laugh-out-loud giggly, and it’s completely absurd but sex is meant to be fun, right? And besides, the bubble-over of mirth just feels so.fucking.GOOD.
In more ways than one.
It’s good in that a weight has been lifted; a heavy shadow that had fallen over the already What if…? future has now lost its heft in the bright (green) light of a heretofore checkered-flag medical “GO.” There is a freedom in the all-clear*** that has lifted a shroud we didn’t even realize was gauzing our interactions (sexual and otherwise) until it was gone.
And it’s good in a full-bodied physical way, joyful and filling and overbrimming with riotous sweetness and affectionate nonsense and gentle-full lightness of being.****
I know he can feel my PC muscles contracting in time with my laughter because his cock grows harder inside me with every squeeze.
“I think,” he chides, between each now-gentling cachinnation, “that you’re a little bit distracted.”
Oh, but I’m not.
At times I am. Yes.
But not now.
And so, with an arch of my back and a slap to his cheek, I set about showing him – with still-smiling pleasureful focus – exactly how not-distracted I am.
* * * * *
“Wanna have sex?” may have been my question this a.m., but by the time this morning is over he’ll have no doubt that “Wanna have sex” is more than just my question; it is also –
and has been, for 15 years
– my answer.
🙂
**My husband has kidney failure. Medical equipment is part of our reality; home dialysis is not a burden or a nuisance, it is just a thing — a thing we deal with one day at a time, with humor and pragmatism. I have, until now, chosen not to discuss his condition or its treatment in specific ways in this space. And I reserve the right to never mention it here again. BUT…
***Now that his prostate cancer scare has been deemed a non-threat, he has been reactivated on the UNOS list, which means he’s been re-qualified for kidney transplant. Which is a really.big.fucking.deal. And is, for obvious reasons, a huge weight off our collective shoulders.
****Because, duh.
My mother had kidney failure. I hope and pray your hubby will be lucky enough to get a transplant and thstvit is successful. All the best!
Btw, one of the best questions and answers ever!!!
Thanks, I hope so too. 🙂
And I agree. 😉
This is great news!
Great about that he was able to get prostrate( well not quite ) after the prostate all clear 😉 and the post made me smile – we laugh during sex at the strangest of times and it is such a good thing 😉
Well, he did *try* to prostrate himself, but I nixed the oral bit this time around. 😉
And all the Yes to laughing during sex! 🙂
I love the joy in your writing, sex should for sure be fun and laughter! Lovely to read your good news too 🙂
Well, hurray for back on the list. And hurray for fun sex. And having sex at all!
Thank you for sharing all that with us. It gives me hope to see that two people can be so happy to be with each other despite life’s curveballs! You are wonderful!
We started out as friends, and at the end of the day that’s what we still are: good friends. And really, I think that’s why we’re happy together, why we ‘work’. Even when we’re not feeling lovey-dovey toward one another (which is really not our thing, anyway; romantic, we are not), we still HAVE love for each other, and it’s a love rooted in friendship. It’s why we have so much fun, I think. 🙂 No matter what we happen to be doing. 😉
I have always loved your pragmatism and humor, and it comes as no surprise you’d weather this part of life with the same.
And of COURSE it’s both the question and the answer! Oddly (for me) I’ve found myself asking that question more and more often. Feels pretty good to be the one doing it, even if I really do prefer to have no control.
I’m glad to hear he’s back on the list and everything is go !
Thanks. We’re pretty happy about it. 🙂
Luckily, he didn’t lose his place while he was on hold. (He’s been waiting four and a half years already. If he had to go back to the end of line because of all this, that would have been terribly disheartening!) The exact ‘when’ is still an unknown, but based on his case statistics and the fact that he was able to maintain his position during the uncertain interim of the past year, it should be (hopefully!) soon. 🙂
Jeeez– it’s a shame the process takes so long, but I’m pulling for y’all ! 🙂
I am so happy to read that your husband is back on the list. Times must have been so tough for the two of you, but what a great way to counter that… with humor. My husband is all about humor too, even in the most serious of situations. I hope your husband will have a new kidney very soon!
Rebel xox
I am sorry to hear about your hubby but also glad that you have had some recent good news. I hope that becomes even more good news soon
Mollyx
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