So we have our own language, right? I mean, I call him Smotch. He calls me OG (Oh’g). Our various household apparatuses are given names like “the roundy-round” (our lazy susan cupboard) and when I forget to turn off the light in my closet it’s because “the closet monster is in there trying on my shoes.” (“No, he’s just sniffing them,” is my husband’s reply.) Ramen is noodle-age; our SUV is The Filthy Beast; our now-deceased old man kitty had a name of his own too.
And my lady bits?
Well, that particular piece of anatomy is sometimes referred to as The Muffin.
SO
I was supposed to work but I got cancelled (my job is such that I still get paid if the cancellation is last-minute) and when I realized I was NOT required to get in the shower and run off to Do My Job, I decided to shower anyway and then — with my stellar seductive powers — I stood (naked) in the doorway of my husband’s bathroom until he was done showering and then I was like, “Would you like a muffin for breakfast?”
And y’know…
At first he was confused. *laugh*
We’ve gotten in the habit of going for coffee (mmm… coffee…) together in the mornings when we can, and that particular morning treat is sometimes accompanied by a pastry. So it was understandable when upon first being offered a muffin, he was like, “D’you mean a donut?”
But no, I did NOT mean a donut.
Of course, I offered to go get him a donut if that was his preference.
It was NOT his preference.
: grin :
And so — in our awkward-sexy way, with “Is this working?” coming in a muffle through a beard buried in muff and the ringing of his cell phone interrupting my concentration when I was al.most.THERE — we started and stopped and restarted (imperfect, we are!) and cringed and laughed and eventually – successfully! – got through “breakfast.”
(He tells me it was perfectly tasty.)
And frankly, I’m delighted that my husband still has an appetite for the occasional morning muffin.
.
I LOVE this post! I laughed so hard. No, I did NOT mean a donut!
Odd how we name things, and our people just happen to know what we’re talking about. I think that’s how you know you’ve found you’re one- lol
Not that donuts aren’t yummy and all, but YEESH. *laugh*
Oh this had me smiling throughout the whole read! I totally love it when we have our own naming conventions for specific things, some sexy, some not so.
And I loved that he had to ask if you meant donut!
I think naming things is pretty typical for people in long-term relationships. We have designations we use when we’re referring to other people too. Like at one point my husband knew a bunch of guys named Larry. So if I was trying to ascertain exactly who he was talking about, I’d be like, “Do you mean Crazy Larry? Or Boat Larry?” And he’d be like, “No, I’m talking about Guitar Larry.” *laugh*
This made me giggle, especially his confusion at first! We also have names for each other, and for some things in house, and some routines we have 😉
~ Marie xox
I think it would be interesting to study naming conventions within relationships. There’s bound to be some interesting psychology there!
Very cute, human, and ultimately sexy post. We have names for stuff as well. I think it may be more common than we might imagine.
Our most pervasive one is “mushrooms” for toes, but there are plenty of others. Having an ESL spouse also tends to lead to more twisted takes on language. (One day recently, Rosa got excited about something and tried to tell me her thoughts in the most mangled English, so I just said, “Honey, you’re speaking “Ricky-Riccardo” again.” And she laughed pretty hard.)
Personally I gave up muffins for breakfast, BUT, I wouldn’t mind a “muffin” for breakfast.
KDPierre recently posted…The Making of…..
Yes — I love the term “mushrooms” for her toes; I smile every time I read it. 🙂
Language acquisition throws some laugh-worthy wrenches into conversation for sure. If you click the link in the post for “old man kitty,” you will read some Manglish (mangled Spanish/English). 😉
Wonderful! A HOT breakfast muffin… 🙂
May x
Ha! Yes… And it didn’t crumble! *laugh*
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