A Spanking Potty (or, err… party…)

So you know how they — ‘they’ being mostly our grandmothers, I think — say that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?

Well, with the man I married… YES, I have fed him well over the years. *laugh*

But the fastest way to his heart is NOT through his stomach. It’s not through his cock, either. (Though there is definitely a connection there.)

It’s through his BUTT.

And I don’t mean in an Ooh, gimme an enema! kind of way.

I mean in an Ooh, gimme a spankin’! kind of way.

SO

Since the fastest way to a woman’s MY heart is Ooh, do my uggy chores for me! and the fastest way to a man’s HIS heart is Ooh, gimme a spankin’!, I figured: Why not combine the two?

Which is how I ended up seated on the toilet — going pee, initially — while he was knelt in front of me cleaning the bathtub and giving him a spankin’ while he worked.

I mean, the master bath in my house is only about the size of an airplane bathroom and a half, so it’s kind of a miracle we could both fit in there at the same time to begin with. And what with him being bent that way — practically in my lap, really — and both of us still in our pajamas, I said to myself, “Maybe I should multi-task while he’s performing his chore-whore-y tasks!”

And so I did.

: grin :

I spanked him, while seated on the toilet, as I peed.

(On his bare bum, of course. Because jammies are super easy to yank down over unsuspecting buns.)

And when I was done peeing, I spanked him some more.

From the potty.

While he continued to clean the bathtub.

(With occasional cleaning pauses for “Ouch!” lamentations and need-a-breath sessions after particularly stingy wallops.)

And y’know…

Mostly I’m a pretty focused kind of person. I’ve read the data on multi-tasking and I know that for the most part, it’s shit. Everything gets started and nothing gets done.

But THIS kind of multi-tasking…

Let’s just say that what I wanted done got done.

WHILE I was getting my morning bizness done.

*laugh*

So y’know…

Next time I want my bathroom cleaned, I think I’m just going to incentivize my hubby by asking if he wants to have another spanking potty. 😛