Un-Franken’ed

      28 Comments on Un-Franken’ed

His torso scars are light — no longer purple, faded to near-white — and we have long learned to make light of them as a way of counteracting the heaviness we might otherwise carry, born(e) by the reasons for their existence.

The under-navel scar that runs downward from belly-button to pubis was the result of an emergency surgery in 2013. The one above it, running in an upward line from navel to sternum, is from unexpected complications during what was supposed to have been a routine laparoscopy two years later.

In February of this year, we thought they were going to have to crack his chest open; instead, they cut a slash across his neck and dug in downwards to remove a mutated parathyroid growth that had grown to the size of a fist and was nestled behind his heart.

This ever-growing collage of intricate Frankenstein cut-and-patch work was added to a few weeks ago: a diagonal slash across his fuck muscle is a result of having surgically attained a new organ*; the double-V line of staples on the opposite side marks the site where his dialysis port used to be.

 

Clinic Day #3, 14 Days Post-Surgery

Walking from the lab to the clinician’s office, he ruminates on his scars.

“I am starting to feel,” he says with a sardonic twitch of his lips, “like that guy from the table game Operation.”

“Well,” I inquire with a smile, “is that better or worse than being a FrankenSmotch?”

Later, having been shown to our examination room, he is still puzzling over this question when the doctor arrives. She looks over his incisions, as per usual, and seems surprised (though she shouldn’t be considering that she’s the one who gets to choose when they are removed) that his staples are still in.

When she leaves momentarily to find her medical assistant, my husband shout-whispers to me, “Are they actually gonna take them out?”

It’s been two weeks now since his surgery; it’s time. The doctor has just told him this though, and I know that repeating her assurances is not what he needs to hear from me.

Instead, low-voiced – with Scooby-Doo style Muuaah-ha-ha ‘Beware’ threading my tone – I respond: “My dear, you are about to be…

 

Un-Franken’ed.”

*This is both wonderful and frightening. He’s been waiting for.fucking.ever for a new kidney; he’s got one now, and it’s working. (Which covers the ‘wonderful’ portion of the program.) But it’s A LOT of change – rapid, difficult, in many ways unexpected – and it’s shifted both our roles in challenging ways. His surgery and recovery, and my resultant responsibilities (which are at times, in all honesty, exhausting), have been taking up the majority of my time in recent weeks. So for those of you who have noticed my absence from this space: this is the reason for it.

I hope to return to a more regular blogging schedule soon.

NOTE: The Kink of the Week topic for the second half of may was Medical Staples. I do not kink to this, for reasons which should be obvious, but I think this little incident fits. I’m too late to participate within the appropriate time window (also for obvious reasons), but am tagging this post KOTW regardless. Somehow it seems an appropriate way to round out my participation in that meme.

28 thoughts on “Un-Franken’ed

  1. Jz

    I’m SO glad he was able to get a kidney and that things are going well!
    I can believe it’s a lot of adjustment but this is good news.
    And yes, I had noticed your absence but as I’ve been pretty much AWOL myself, I didn’t think much of it, other than, “Perhaps she, too, is doing home demolition during prime yardwork season…”

    Onward and upward!
    Jz recently posted…June Rambles, 2019My Profile

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      I’ll leave the demo’ing to you; I’ve got more than I can manage with the yard work portion of the program. (And I’ve just added to my workload with the planting of new beds — DOH! 😬 ) But I will say, it makes for fabulous exercise! 😉

      Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Thank you! 🙂 It’s been a long winding road to reach this destination, but we’re moving on – and looking forward to! – to the next leg of this journey.

      Reply
  2. Dawn D

    I read the sentence twice. It took time to make sense (what can I say, it’s cray late here and I’ve been in a funk). A huge smile spread across my face when it finally made sense!
    I’m so happy for you both. Well, him particularly, it’s his body after all!
    I am sure you will overcome the changes with as much grace as you have overcome the other obstacles in your life.
    I had also sort of noticed your absence, though I too was less present. No, nothing as exciting as getting a new organ or demolishing a yard.
    I was thinking of you today because I just posted about a dream and you always have interesting interpretations for my dreams… I’m curious what you make of it!
    Again, congratulations on the new lease of life. Enjoy your very own Frankenstein!

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Yes, his Frankenstein tummy (Frankentummy) got un-Franken’ed, via the removal of the staples. (It’s still his Franken-belly though, just less obviously so now that those metallic markers are gone. 😉 ) Sorry if that was unclear; I’m not always good at clarifying our marital pseudo-terminology in the retelling of our stories. 🙂

      I will come visit your site soon, Dawn. I’ve been admittedly bad at getting around to visit people’s pages over the past few months. I have a lot of catching up to do!

      Reply
  3. Dawn D

    Oh no, that bit, the UnFranken’ed, was very clear!
    I was talking about this sentence « a diagonal slash across his fuck muscle is a result of having surgically attained a new organ*; the double-V line of staples on the opposite side marks the site where his dialysis port used to be.«  This is the one I had to read again before the smile spread 😊
    You do the catch up whenever you can. The monumentous change going on in your life is much more important (and quick changing) than any words of mine!
    Xx

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      OH! Hopefully you clicked the link that shows the area in question. 🙂

      Interesting, when they give you a new kidney, they put in in the front, in the lower abdomen. He had been doing peritoneal dyalisis prior to transplant, the port for which – being also located in the abdomen, but on the opposite side of the new kidney – was removed during transplantation surgery. 🙂 (The PD port removal was what warranted the staples.)

      It’s probably hard to picture. Perhaps I’ll be able to talk him into letting me post a photo once he’s better healed. 😉

      Reply
  4. Nora Jean Cawder

    That is awesome news! … the best possible reason for Frankenscar! … my man has one where they took his cancer ridden kidney out … I’m thankful for that one every day! … nj … xx

    Reply
  5. Marie Rebelle

    It’s fabulous news to hear he has a new kidney AND it’s working, but I can so understand the exhaustion on your side, the caretaker’s side. That’s sometimes forgotten by others, but seeing those we take care of happy and getting back to better health, is one of the best things there is. I wish both of you well, Feve, that it will take a very long time (if ever) before a new scar is added to the collection he already has.

    Rebel xox

    Reply
    1. Mrs Fever Post author

      Thank you. People rarely understand the impact of health issues, not on the individual afflicted and especially not on caretakers. I appreciate that you do. xoxo

      Reply
  6. Vixen Jones

    Yay for a kidney!
    And *hugs* for all of the heavy conversations, appointments, hospitals and people it’s taken to get y’all there.

    Sending you and Smotch healing vibes and Nola love ❤️

    -Vixen

    Reply
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  11. KDPierre

    Good development in what appears to be a long trial of endurance and worry.

    However, what drew me to this piece initially was the use of the word: ‘un-frankened’

    In the spirit of “ickle” may I offer an alternate definition:

    un-Frankened: the US Congressional roster after the posting of a photo taken in poor taste

    Reply

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