May I take your order, please?
Today I had the unique experience of ordering my menopausal symptoms.
I don’t mean ‘ordering’ as in “Oh, doesn’t that hot flash look just a.ma.zing?! I think I’ll order two of them! After all, they’ll go SO WELL with my extra belly fat and my shrunken vaginal canal.”
No.
I mean ‘ordering’ as in ‘put these things in order’ in terms of the order in which I experienced them.
Things like:
- hot flashes
- insomnia
- fuzzy thinking / unfocused-ness
- vaginal dryness
- diminished libido
- pain during sex
- breast discomfort
- dry skin
Etcetera.
And you know…
If I had *known* that the things I was experiencing were ‘menopausal’ things at the time I noticed an uptick in symptoms, I would have paid more attention to the order they were happening in.
But since I have PCOS… And sleep issues… And because I have never been terribly fond of my breasts (or of other people messing about with my breasts)… The thing that sticks out in my mind the most was when sex — or rather, libido (and the lack thereof) — started to be a ‘difficult’ thing for me.
And that was a damned long time ago now.
Peri-menopause
There is a misconception that menopause — which, literally translated, means “menstruation pauses” — is an “Okay, now we’re finished!” kind of thing.
But it’s NOT.
Peri-menopause — the period surrounding menopause during which the female body experiences the hormonal and physical changes that lead up to the ‘full-stop’ of menopause — is kind of a long process.
Doctors often say it’s “a year” (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read that on medical web pages!) but IT’S NOT. It’s only after a full year of not having a period that you are officially post-menopausal. The slowing-down/irregular-periods/physical-symptoms time period can go on for significantly longer.
And sometimes — as was the case with me — it’s difficult to distinguish those symptoms as *being* menopausal.
Because if you’ve always struggled with weight because of PCOS and additional genetic factors, how can you tell when the rearrangement of that weight is attributable to anything new? And if you’ve had hot flashes since your mid-20s because your hormones are so out of whack, what’s an extra night sweat or two?
Can’t sleep? Ah, well. That’s normal for you!
Feeling unfocused? Can’t remember something important five minutes after you’ve thought of it the first time? Well, of course you can’t. You don’t sleep well!
Right?
Menopause, Schmenopause
So anyway.
Here’s the thing:
If you had asked me a year ago, I would have told you that I was probably post-menopausal. ‘Probably’ because of all the aforementioned ‘other stuff it could be’. Because in January of 2021, I could say without a doubt that it had been longer than a year since my last period.
But then I had that whole weird bleeding thing that happened this past summer.
And ever since then, I’ve kind of been wondering: What the hell?!
A conversation with my mother gave me a bit of insight into the genetic side of things.
Taking that into consideration — as well as considering the fact of my own experience{s} with This Bluddy MessTM — I kind of think I’m just in menopause.
Like on surveys, when they ask you: What state do you live in?, I should just type Menopause and be done with it.
*laugh*
But on my journey through the state of Menopause, I’m pretty sure these are the largest towns I’ve driven through (in order):
- Insomnia
- Fuzzythink
- Tits-Hurt Ridge
- Barren Valley of Libidoless-ness
- Ouchy No-Fuck Town
- Hot Flash City
- Jiggle Belly
- Dry Vag Gulch
And now: Pee-vy Village
Yes, the next issue — though likely not the last — is that I’m having urinary problems.
Not that I’m peeing myself. (Thank fuck, not that.)
But I’m peeing… And then five minutes later I’m peeing again… And another 15 minutes later I feel like my bladder is going to explode if I don’t get to a bathroom RIGHT.NOW!
And even though I empty my bladder before I go to bed, I still have to get up within 2-4 hours of falling asleep because if I don’t I’m going to be swimming in my sheets.
And I get up again an hour or two before my alarm for the same reason.
Etcetera.
SO
Peeing is my new pet peeve.
: sigh :
A n y w a y
May I take YOUR order please?
The little exercise I went through in terms of ordering my symptoms today was a thought-provoking one. It made me examine my own experience{s} a little differently. And even though having PCOS makes some of these symptoms a bit ‘chicken-or-egg’ in terms of which came first, I *did* realize that when viewed as a whole, the things I’ve been dealing with for the past several years all DEFINITELY fit the “menopause” label.
And quite frankly, I’m hoping that some of the things on that label will substituted for more palatable ingredients by the time all this is over.
In the mean time…
I know some of you (yes, YOU!) have experienced — or are currently experiencing — symptoms of {peri-}menopause and/or have had partners who have gone through it. So I’m curious what your experience of symptoms has been.
What order did your menopausal symptoms show up in?
If you feel comfortable sharing, I’d really like to know.
.
.
First, go get your pee checked. While it COULD be a symptom of the peri/m, it could also be a UTI. I had one last year around the time i was getting the tingling skin, headaches and weight gain, so I thought it was just another symptom, but it turns out it was an infection. A round of antibiotics sorted that out. Now if only it was THAT easy to deal with the rest of it.
Um, the very first problem I had was massive cramps where I never had them before. That and backaches when I was PMS-ing. In the past I’d be very easy going into a period. But suddenly I was in pain, everywhere.
Then came the irregular periods. Later and later, then when it came it wouldn’t stop. When it stopped it came again 2 weeks later.
Then all the rest. I had a hot flush while pooping, is that too much information? That was my first time. And I only ever had it 2 more times after that, both times when I was already getting over heated from doing strenuous things,
About a month after that i had a few days of headaches, followed by tingling/ultra-sensitive skin (Paresthesia) and strange nervy pulling pains in my thighs and upper arms. These all happened around the same time, within the week.
Okay, I have to admit I’m laughing about having a hot flash while pooping. 😛
Headaches are a tough one for me… I get migraines; I’ve dealt with them for YEARS (and one of the things I do to manage them is take hormones), so it’s really hard to say if/when my headaches are just ‘normal’ (for me) or ‘menopausal’.
Interesting about the paresthesia… I wonder if that’s where my “Don’t touch me!” touchy-ness comes from?
Hey Feve,
Here’s how this unpleasant episode has gone for me. I had really unpredictable periods throughout my 40’s and then one day I realized that I hadn’t had my period at all for a really long time. I was like, wow, I think that was that. I don’t have many symptoms other than my dying libido which was brought on by a very unpleasant sexual encounter…. let’s just say I’m not a femme fontaine anymore. I’ve gained tons of weight and am depressed at my floppy belly. I quit smoking and working out at the worst moment. Now I have no content to write about in my blog. So I don’t. Happy New Year anyway! 😘
Happy New Year! It’s lovely to see you. 🙂
Yes, I think the ‘dying libido’ is something many of us in the peri/m blogging community can relate to!
And the weight gain… Yes, I get that too. Blergh. I don’t know about you, but for me the weight has also sort of rearranged. Like I’ve shrunken in some places because it’s like all the mass that was there (chest, anyone?) moved elsewhere (belly, how fun).
o_O
Me too. My body is unrecognizable to me.
Now that is a good question, as I have never thought of ordering my symptoms. And it’s going to take a long hard think on exactly what order it came in, as it all started about 13 years ago… which now seems like a lifetime!
~ Marie xox
PS: Would you mind adding this post to the Menopause Diaries?
Sure, I will add it — I will have to do it when I’m at a computer (I’m on my phone right now), so it might be tomorrow. I am planning to do a breast-specific post later this month as I know that is the current prompt. 🙂
I really feel for all you peri ladies.
My wife and mother-in-law both started having hot flushes in their late 30’s which continued for over 20 years.
Way back when our family was on long interstate trips, father used to joke about the car having a 600km capacity petrol talk, but mother only had a 200km bladder.
Sir Thomas recently posted…“To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before” Sing Along
It can be extended over a long period of time, for sure. I feel lucky that, even though it’s “early” compared to many, my menopausal symptoms have not been severe. (They also have not been “psycho” — a fact my husband appreciates, given that his mother and all his sisters lost their minds when they went through their “change of life.”)
Feve,
I’m late, but I’m menopausal/peri, so there.
1. Increase in migraine intensity, occurrence, and duration.
2. Freezing feet
3. Pissed-off-ed-ness……..never been so pissed in my life.
3. Increased pelvic pain…….. sharp ones. Doc has no clue. Maybe it’s your back?
4. Have to pee all the time
5. Can’t sleep for shit, but I can shit. Can’t remember shit. Did I say that already? Foggy.
6. Jacked up periods…… is it coming ? Is it ever going to leave? How flow can ya go?
7. Weight gain
8. Thinning hair, but not on my snatch. Gotta love that 70’s bush.
Windy recently posted…The Precarious Bridge of Uncertainty
I’m all about the bush! I have zero interest in shaving, tgankyouverymuch.
I actually have a referral in to women’s health re: pelvic pain. So we’ll see what happens with that.