Menopause Meets Mammaries
(fight ensues: one’s a complete tit, the other is a total boob)
So one of the things I have struggled with for a long while now is my (lack of) turn-on-able-ness when it comes to mammary stimulation. Part of it is psychological, part of it is physical; both stem from the same traumatic experience (TRIGGER WARNING: that linked text does say traumatic experience), I think — memories and hormones mixed to create a lasting uncomfortable after-effect — and unfortunately, the physical aspect of discomfort seems to be heightened during my current experience of peri/menopause.
I have never been big on my (not-big) breasts. When I was younger, it was just that they were a ‘meh’ piece of the total sexual equation. If it turned my partner on to see/suck-on/fondle them, it was… Meh.
It’s not that it was unpleasurable during my younger years. It’s just that it didn’t exactly feature.
But in my current Change Of Life — I once heard an elderly resident of a nursing care facility phrase it that way; ‘menopause’ was a taboo word in her day — it’s gone from ‘meh’ to OhHellFuckingNO.
Because it’s not just not stimulating to have my breasts (especially my nipples) messed with.
It’s downright painful.
And really…
What. The actual. FUCK?
The {a}Typical Experience
So in my reading about menopause, I’ve been stricken by the atypicality of my experience in the Breast Department.
I can find numerous personal accounts — in articles and blogs — about how a woman’s sex drive increases (this also does not match my experience), how her breasts become more sensitive and more easily stimulated, about how the hormonal changes have a bit of a ‘pregnancy’ effect in that the mammary glands swell and the breasts get larger. I can also find reputable medical journals and online MD sites explaining how it is typical for women to experience breast sensitivity and swelling during peri-menopause.
Well, I’ve got the sensitive part all right. Like: If you touch me there, I’m liable to punch you in the face kind of sensitivity.
But enhanced pleasure? No.
And enhanced… Enhancements? NOPE.
If anything, my breasts have shrunk.
From B+ to A-
I have an athletic frame. (Think: boxy/straight body, proportionately narrow hips.) I am broad-shouldered and small-breasted, and at my heaviest, I was only ever a B cup.
But I was a B cup.
And when I lost my weight a few years ago, I maintained a B cup. (I was a smaller band size than before, but still a B cup.)
Now, though?
I’m shrinking.
And it’s not because I’m losing any more weight. I actually gained a bit at the beginning of all this COVID crap and while I took most of it back off, I am still a little heavier version of ‘thin’ (and I was never thin; I just got healthier a few years ago is all) than I was.
Nope. It’s not because I’m losing weight.
It’s because this is how my menopausal hormonal changes are affecting my body.
The bra I have on right now is a 36B.
When I bought it, it fit me perfectly.
Now?
It gaps.
What I am going to have to do next time I [can afford to] go bra shopping is get {1} a different style/cut, {2} in a 36A.
And if my mother’s experience is any indication of what I will go through over the next 20 years or so, I’m guessing that it will be an A- (AA) before too long.
Because all that mass that was once creating the ‘B’ in my chest?
It seems to have turned to fat.
And migrated south.
: sigh :
Anyway…
In case you were wondering where All That Breast Business might feature on my recently-posted list of menopausal symptoms…
There you go.
SO
I’m just wondering…
For the rest of you who are dealing with all this lovely hormonal mid-life bullshit:
Have your tits gone tits-up?
.
Sympathy and support. First sympathy: I can totally relate to the sexual aspect if not the titty portion, having none of my own……well at least not official ones. I have gone a bit pec-flabby these later years, but the chest fur on them tends to disguise any breastiness . My libido though is as lively as Jacob Marley. It has gotten so bad that I am due for a blood test to measure my testosterone level….which was “low-end normal” last time. While ED has been a lifelong struggle, drive was NEVER an issue……until lately. Also, from what you write about, I truly suspect Rosa is going through this, but she is very hesitant to discuss/admit it. Yet she is a poster girl of most symptoms.
Support: FWIW…………….small breasts are fucking gorgeous! There. I said it. A guy. A guy saying he prefers small to large. Heresy I know. (And typical men have exiled me from their grunting ranks a long time ago, so I know I don’t fit in with them. And they would certainly point to this as proof that my banishment was justified.) To me big breasts are……..sloppy, not sexy. My first wife was an A – AA, Rosa is a B at best. So enjoy those cupcakes’ appearance. When older women will have these overfilled water balloons sagging to their waistlines, yours, even if less perky, will still be where they should be. I do hope the soreness is a temporary thing though.
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I think my husband is of the same opinion: small breasts are beautiful.
Personally, I think all breasts are (or can be) beautiful; size doesn’t really factor. The shrinking-size thing for me is just odd. Nothing I’ve heard or read indicates that my experience is in any way ‘the norm’. Your comparison to the low-testosterone issue reminds me that for the majority of my life I’ve had crazy-high levels of testosterone (PCOS). I wonder if my own “pec-flabby” issue is a result of that.
As for your own testosterone issues: I wonder if your levels are, indeed, outside the ‘normal’ range of ‘low’ at this point. I would be interested to hear how that turns out.
sigh. this doesn’t sound like something i’m looking forward to. i’ve never been anything more than an A. And by American sizing standards i’m an A- ALREADY.
I have a sneaky feeing this peri-m can go either way – some women have periods more often, get bigger boobs, experience more sexy feelings. Others, (and I suspect i’m one of the others) lose interest in sex, and even when the brain says yes the vajayjay disagrees so that it’s dry as the sahara, and for a while i’ve been wondering if my boobs have been getting smaller too cos i’m sensing some of my tees /tops don’t sit quite as nicely as they used to. I feel like my v-necks are becoming more roomy at the collar. So you’re definitely NOT alone.
i *am* grateful that the titties still enjoy being pinched and manhandled! LOL. But it’s gotta be that. The soft gentle caresses do NOTHING for me.
Welcome to Shrinkville, my friend! *laugh*
I think you’re right — it can go either way. I’m glad I’m not alone.
(Now if the chubby parts of me would just magically shrink, I wouldn’t mind at all!)
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Oh, how I remember the overwhelming chagrin the first time my mammo results came back with a note about the vast quantities of “fatty tissue”!
I *know* it’s a part of aging for the breast tissue to turn to fat but I’ve got enough of the danged stuff draped around my body already – More Not Required, thank you!
“sloppy, not sexy”, huh?
*sigh*
Jz recently posted…A Little of This, A Little of That…
I’m due for a mammogram, but have been putting it off. Last time the tech was like, “I’m trying to pull your back fat around the side so we have more substance…”
Thanks a lot, lady.
And the rest of it — yes, I know. *sigh*
It’s interesting that your experiences with your breasts in menopause in no way equals what I have experienced. My breasts have gotten bigger in menopause, and I love that. They also are firm, and no matter how hard I try, there’s no way I can trap a pencil under my boobs 😉
~ Marie xox
I think your experience is more common than mine.
I don’t really like big breasts. In any case, it is better to be content with what you have.
It’s not a matter of discontent; it’s about being aware of what’s happening with my body and why.
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